Members RoseDW Posted May 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 It feel like I'm living a nightmare and I want so badly to wake up. Last Thursday at around 9pm, my dad was feeling weird. He was a chronic smoker and thought his symptoms were lung/breathing related and refused to go to the hospital thinking that he could sleep it off. My mom raced over to him and was rubbing oil on his chest all night hoping to soothe him. By morning, he was extremely weak and was rushed into surgery at around 11am but by then, the damage was already done. Turns out that he had a massive heart attack. He was in a coma for six days before passing. I feel so sad/guilty/depressed/anguished/angry/disappointed that I didn't get to see him while he was conscious. I prayed to God every night hoping that he would get better. I was so sure that he was going to recover and everything was going to be alright. On his sixth and last day, I planned on saying goodbye since things weren't looking good. He passed while I was at school and taking my Spanish final exam. I didn't learn of his passing until a hour so after the fact. I wish things could have been different. If I warned him earlier about his health. If he recognized his symptoms and gone to the hospital sooner he could be around now. I regret not telling him enough how much I loved him and that I didn't get to say goodbye while he was about to pass. When I wake up and go on about my day, it feels like my heart is being squeezed and I'm out of breath. I feel so lost and dazed. My mom used to skype with him every night but now she doesn't know what to do. I feel like I'm about lose it when I see his grey photo on skype knowing that it will never be colorful again. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared for my family and how will get recover financially and go on without the other half of the pillar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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