It has been almost 3 years.

[FifteenSteps]

I lost my mom in 2008. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in June of 2006. Her left breast was removed and she endured chemo and radiation, losing hair and weight during the process. It was a drastic change to see her go from how I've always known her to look to something completely different, but I didn't love her any less. She was okay for some time, living life at home, as she couldn't work anymore. Then in February 2008 when she went to get her checkup she was told the cancer had moved to her liver, and that it was over, and she needed to tell us (her children, I also have a younger brother) and make arrangements.

We were stunned, to say the least. No one knew what to say. But my mom was just like, look, I'm gonna get whatever I can get done in the little time I have left, and just live. I'm still here. And so we went about life that way. She took me to the funeral home she had chosen, showed me caskets, the whole bit. I was numb at the time, and even more so when I had to revisit to make the actual plans.

The month she spent slowly slipping away is something I'll never forget. I won't even get into it. People showed their true colours, crying when they didn't give a damn about her ever, and coming over and acting like jackasses while she was upstairs asleep in our house on a hospital bed hooked up to an oxygen machine.

I was there the night she crossed over, holding her hand. That is something I will always be glad I did, that I was there for her, and had time to tell her I loved her, and that she knew that leaving us.

A cousin of mine told me to seek therapy, because it would help with my grief, but of course I was in such a haze I ignored her completely. I recognize the value of it now. I would definitely love to work through the anger, the pain, the feeling of being misunderstood by people who just stand there and look at me when I tell them what it's like...

I would love that.

I would love healing for us all.

I miss you Mom. xoxoxo

[ModKonnie]

I lost my mom in 2008. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in June of 2006. Her left breast was removed and she endured chemo and radiation, losing hair and weight during the process. It was a drastic change to see her go from how I've always known her to look to something completely different, but I didn't love her any less. She was okay for some time, living life at home, as she couldn't work anymore. Then in February 2008 when she went to get her checkup she was told the cancer had moved to her liver, and that it was over, and she needed to tell us (her children, I also have a younger brother) and make arrangements.

We were stunned, to say the least. No one knew what to say. But my mom was just like, look, I'm gonna get whatever I can get done in the little time I have left, and just live. I'm still here. And so we went about life that way. She took me to the funeral home she had chosen, showed me caskets, the whole bit. I was numb at the time, and even more so when I had to revisit to make the actual plans.

The month she spent slowly slipping away is something I'll never forget. I won't even get into it. People showed their true colours, crying when they didn't give a damn about her ever, and coming over and acting like jackasses while she was upstairs asleep in our house on a hospital bed hooked up to an oxygen machine.

I was there the night she crossed over, holding her hand. That is something I will always be glad I did, that I was there for her, and had time to tell her I loved her, and that she knew that leaving us.

A cousin of mine told me to seek therapy, because it would help with my grief, but of course I was in such a haze I ignored her completely. I recognize the value of it now. I would definitely love to work through the anger, the pain, the feeling of being misunderstood by people who just stand there and look at me when I tell them what it's like...

I would love that.

I would love healing for us all.

I miss you Mom. xoxoxo

Fifteen Steps,

I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. It sounds as though she was an amazing person. It is tough when you see them slowly slipping and there is nothing you can do about it.

You have come to the right place to talk to others who have experienced similar losses. We will be here to encourage and support you.

ModKonnie

[bltarve]

I lost my mom in 2008. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in June of 2006. Her left breast was removed and she endured chemo and radiation, losing hair and weight during the process. It was a drastic change to see her go from how I've always known her to look to something completely different, but I didn't love her any less. She was okay for some time, living life at home, as she couldn't work anymore. Then in February 2008 when she went to get her checkup she was told the cancer had moved to her liver, and that it was over, and she needed to tell us (her children, I also have a younger brother) and make arrangements.

We were stunned, to say the least. No one knew what to say. But my mom was just like, look, I'm gonna get whatever I can get done in the little time I have left, and just live. I'm still here. And so we went about life that way. She took me to the funeral home she had chosen, showed me caskets, the whole bit. I was numb at the time, and even more so when I had to revisit to make the actual plans.

The month she spent slowly slipping away is something I'll never forget. I won't even get into it. People showed their true colours, crying when they didn't give a damn about her ever, and coming over and acting like jackasses while she was upstairs asleep in our house on a hospital bed hooked up to an oxygen machine.

I was there the night she crossed over, holding her hand. That is something I will always be glad I did, that I was there for her, and had time to tell her I loved her, and that she knew that leaving us.

A cousin of mine told me to seek therapy, because it would help with my grief, but of course I was in such a haze I ignored her completely. I recognize the value of it now. I would definitely love to work through the anger, the pain, the feeling of being misunderstood by people who just stand there and look at me when I tell them what it's like...

I would love that.

I would love healing for us all.

I miss you Mom. xoxoxo

well sounds like you have been through alot, its nice you go to be by her side. She left happy. That must have been so hard to see her so sick. I understan about when i talk to people about my situation, they stare at me like deer in head lights so i stoped talking about and it got all bottled up. Its been 10 years ago, my mom killed herself. I never dealth with it in fact this is year was first time i hung a picture of her up, it was to painful. So not my painful scar is a ful blown infection. So i would suggest therapy if you need it. I am going through the steps in getting some help.

Its hard to make sense of life after something like this. Stay strong. Do you have any brothers or sisters??

[FifteenSteps]

Fifteen Steps,

I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. It sounds as though she was an amazing person. It is tough when you see them slowly slipping and there is nothing you can do about it.

You have come to the right place to talk to others who have experienced similar losses. We will be here to encourage and support you.

ModKonnie

Thank you. She really was. It's part of what keeps me sane, knowing I experienced 20 years of my life with someone like that, being able to see goodness from up close.

[FifteenSteps]

well sounds like you have been through alot, its nice you go to be by her side. She left happy. That must have been so hard to see her so sick. I understan about when i talk to people about my situation, they stare at me like deer in head lights so i stoped talking about and it got all bottled up. Its been 10 years ago, my mom killed herself. I never dealth with it in fact this is year was first time i hung a picture of her up, it was to painful. So not my painful scar is a ful blown infection. So i would suggest therapy if you need it. I am going through the steps in getting some help.

Its hard to make sense of life after something like this. Stay strong. Do you have any brothers or sisters??

Most difficult thing I've had to deal with so far. I've stopped talking about it myself, especially acknowledging now that most of the people I'm surrounded by don't get it and maybe never will.

I'm glad you're taking those steps. 10 years have gone by and it's still an open wound. There is so much to let go of.

Definitely hard to make sense of. I felt literally lost for a while. I have one brother, he'll be 16 in July. I want help for him too.