Members lafayette Posted April 19, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 My mother died three years ago, my father 20 years ago. I feel completely transformed in a bad way since my mother died now that both parents are gone. I also want to talk about my mother, who I was so close to, all the time. When I am alone, my thoughts wander to her death and I am off and on sad about her being gone. People don't understand me feeling this way three years later. I am functioning, going through my life just fine and taking care of business, but sometimes I wonder if I am still grieving too hard for her by trying to make myself feel sad. But the feelings are there. And three years doesn't feel like anything. Can anyone tell me how much they felt sad three years after a close parent died, especially their second of both parents? I would be deeply worried if I wasn't getting out of bed each day, and I am, and I am functioning and sometimes OK. But I carry this with me often. Is this my new state of being parentless that I have to learn to adjust to over time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crystalann Posted April 19, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Hello my name is CrystalI lost my mom who was my closest friend 3 years ago in May.I still miss her so much.I still have her voice on her message so I call sometimes just to hear it.I also lost my dad 23 years ago in June.I think it took me longer to get over my dad just because I was still young 18.After I lost my mom and two and a half years went by I decided to start living to the fullest.Doing things I wanted to but never did.I just lost my oldest son Tyler on1/3/11.Now I am on even a sadder road.I miss my mom even more now wish I could call her.So I say still being sad after 3Years is just fine it was your mom she made you who you are.Of course you still miss her and are sad.You still love her! Love to you Crystal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lafayette Posted April 19, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 I'm so sorry about all of your losses, Crystal. And thank you so much for making me feel better and that there isn't something wrong with me for still feeling bad a lot of the time about my mother and parents being dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lafayette Posted April 19, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 I'm beginning to think I'm worrying because of the lack of understanding about it from the people around me. I'm sure many of them think gee, it's been three years, why is it still so acute for you? You must be wallowing in this voluntarily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crystalann Posted April 19, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 It is not something you can control. The sadness comes when it wants and stays as long as it wants.I did stay in the greif of my dad for maybe 15 years.Like I said I was young.Our moms though are our care givers.Thats what makes it differt.I followed my mo, every where she moved my sister and her did not talk.I felt I was all she had.Noone understands until it happens to them. Love to you ,Crystal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lafayette Posted April 19, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 It is not something you can control. The sadness comes when it wants and stays as long as it wants.I did stay in the greif of my dad for maybe 15 years.Like I said I was young.Our moms though are our care givers.Thats what makes it differt.I followed my mo, every where she moved my sister and her did not talk.I felt I was all she had.Noone understands until it happens to them. Love to you ,CrystalThank you, Crystal. You have helped me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crystalann Posted April 19, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 Im glad I was able to help.Maybe thats what I need to do to help myself.Love to you,Crystal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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