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I thought this would get easier!


IlanaEpsteinRabone

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IlanaEpsteinRabone

There are days when I feel like myself again and other days when I am depressed. Lately I am feeling more depressed because my birthday is on Friday, April 15, the first without my mother and then the anniversary of her death is on May 2. It doesn't help that my family is not close anymore. My brother feels like I do, but even though we live close by, we don't see each other every day or talk every day. My Dad is dating again and it seems like my brother and I are left on our own. I understand we're not teenagers anymore, in fact I'm going to be 41 on Friday, but since mom has been gone, I need him now more than ever. I know that everyone grieves in their own way, but I feel like he's ignoring me and my brother. He even wants to take his girlfriend to my mom's unveiling, which I feel is disrespectful to my mother. I realize he wants her to meet the family who lives up north where my mom is buried, but taking her to the unveiling is not something I'm comfortable with and I don't know how to tell my Dad. I have a feeling that he will listen to me, but do whatever he wants to do whether I like it or not.

I can't deal with all of this and don't know what to do!

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There are days when I feel like myself again and other days when I am depressed. Lately I am feeling more depressed because my birthday is on Friday, April 15, the first without my mother and then the anniversary of her death is on May 2. It doesn't help that my family is not close anymore. My brother feels like I do, but even though we live close by, we don't see each other every day or talk every day. My Dad is dating again and it seems like my brother and I are left on our own. I understand we're not teenagers anymore, in fact I'm going to be 41 on Friday, but since mom has been gone, I need him now more than ever. I know that everyone grieves in their own way, but I feel like he's ignoring me and my brother. He even wants to take his girlfriend to my mom's unveiling, which I feel is disrespectful to my mother. I realize he wants her to meet the family who lives up north where my mom is buried, but taking her to the unveiling is not something I'm comfortable with and I don't know how to tell my Dad. I have a feeling that he will listen to me, but do whatever he wants to do whether I like it or not.

I can't deal with all of this and don't know what to do!

Hi,

Would it help for you to sit down and talk to your brother about all of this? Find out for sure what he feels about your Dad taking his girlfriend to your mom's unveiling. Even if your brother feels that it is okay, I would still calmly tell your dad you are miserably uncomfortable with his decision to take his girlfriend to your mom's memorial. I can certainly see your side of the story, but perhaps your dad is not thinking properly and no one has voiced their concerns to him. If you don't tell him, he won't know that you are uncomfortable.

If your brother doesn't feel it is right, then both of you may want to go together to discuss this issue openly and lovingly with your dad. Talk about how lonely and isolated you feel.

Let us know how you are doing.

ModKonnie

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