Members andy88 Posted March 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Hi, my name is Pam and I lost my beautiful 22-year old son (probably) to a drug overdose on 2/11/11. We really don't know the actual cause of his death yet...they said it would take 6 - 8 weeks to get a toxicology report. That being said, we are fairly sure in our minds how he died. His name was Andy, and he was my only child, and the light of my life. He was kind, loving, and had many friends. I'm struggling, I miss him so much. He lived with me while he went to community college (and was a straight-A student), so I saw him every day. I guess I'm doing as well as can be expected, but my heart feels like it has been ripped from my chest. I'm expected to go on, go to work, live, and I just don't care about anything right now. I wish I could take a year off and run away to the wilderness for a year. Looking for any support I can get as I am questioning "who am I now? what is my purpose for even being here?" I always defined myself as Andy's mom.I take comfort in knowing he is joyful in heaven and that I will see him again, but how do you go on after something like this? Will I ever feel good again? Thanks for listening.Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Hi, my name is Pam and I lost my beautiful 22-year old son (probably) to a drug overdose on 2/11/11. We really don't know the actual cause of his death yet...they said it would take 6 - 8 weeks to get a toxicology report. That being said, we are fairly sure in our minds how he died. His name was Andy, and he was my only child, and the light of my life. He was kind, loving, and had many friends. I'm struggling, I miss him so much. He lived with me while he went to community college (and was a straight-A student), so I saw him every day. I guess I'm doing as well as can be expected, but my heart feels like it has been ripped from my chest. I'm expected to go on, go to work, live, and I just don't care about anything right now. I wish I could take a year off and run away to the wilderness for a year. Looking for any support I can get as I am questioning "who am I now? what is my purpose for even being here?" I always defined myself as Andy's mom.I take comfort in knowing he is joyful in heaven and that I will see him again, but how do you go on after something like this? Will I ever feel good again? Thanks for listening.PamPam,I am so sorry about Andy. There are many parents here who have lost their beloved children, and they will be able to help you move forward. I know you miss him, and I know nothing else matters at this point. You take things a little at a time, bit by bit. There are also times when talking to a doctor about medicine may be helpful. Are you getting any support from your family, friends or community? Is there a group for you to join? We will be here for you, Pam.Come tell us about Andy. We will be happy to talk to you about him.ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members charsng1234 Posted March 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Hi Pam my name is Sharon I lost my son Shane on January 15th 2011, I know what you mean I am a mom first, I have 5 kids Shane was my youngest son he was 22 yrs young. I to have to work everyday and it sucks,I also wish I could run away and just be by myself. I feel so lost with out my Shane he had a smile and heart that could melt anyone. He was to be a father for the 1st time in July. I am fighting very hard just to survive I hope you keep coming back here it helps just to talk.. Shanes mom Sharon.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aim630 Posted March 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Pam-I lost my 23 year old daughter Ashley, on 2-9-10, due to complications from H1N1, pneumonia & mono. She had been recovering and was starting physical therapy when she died suddenly from a heart problem (probably due to a blood clot). I never thought I'd be able to survive at all, and it's been hard. Some days I just wanted to stay in bed, and not leave the house at all. I had to return to work with a couple of weeks. In a way it kept me from dwelling 24-7 on what had happened, because I was busy at work, but it was hard to concentrate & I was angry at others who had not experienced this. Not that I wanted anyone else to feel this pain, but I was jealous, and didn't understand why I had to be going through it. You do learn to get up & get through every day. At some point, you will be able to smile again, although you'll probably feel guilty for smiling or laughing. Ashley was a very energetic, happy, loving girl, so it helps to think she wouldn't want me living the rest of my life in misery. It is hard though. Sometimes it knocks the breath out of me. Please come to the Loss of an Adult child board. There are a lot of people there who can help and give advice, and just listen, because they understand. It's saved my life and helped me get through the past year. Please come share more about Andy's life.Amy/Ashley's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 2 Angels in Heaven Posted March 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Pam, I also joined yesterday. I loss 2 Daughters last month on 2/5/11 & 2/8/11, 3 days a part for different reasons. They were 22 & 26 years old. I also do not have a cause of death yet for my 26 y/o Vanessa. But, the verbal preliminary autopsy report shows she probably died of asphyxiation / suffocation. She was found in the shower with a contusion to her face apparently a slip and fall into the bathtub getting knocked unconscious and drowned when the tub filled up from the shower because her body covered the drain. However, the medical examiner ruled out drowning b/c there was no water in her lungs and looks like she was suffocated and placed in the tub to look like an accident. Her death is under investigation for possible murder. My 22 y/o Kailey died 3 days after her sister. She was born with cardiac deformities and had several surgeries to repair her heart. Unfortunately, she couldn't handle the pain of losing her sister, her heart gave out and she passed away. I know your pain! It's unbearable right now and I too want to run away from my life and responsibilities. I literally want to get in my car and just drive and drive till I can't drive anymore. I don't care where I go or where I end up. I want to be reckless and abandon everything I've worked for my whole life. I feel like nothing matters anymore since they are gone and I'm no longer living my life for them and the future. I also defined myself as Vanessa & Kailey's mom. Everything I have done in my life, I've done for my children. I can't stop questioning over and over again WHY. Why Vanessa? Why Kailey? Why die so young? Why 3 days apart? Why did God take both away from me so close together? My mind is full of questions in which I have no answer's for. It's horrible to realize this nightmare is not a dream but reality. Unfortunately, the reality is i have responsibilities to myself, my family, friends, pets, work, co-workers, mortgage company, loan companies etc, etc.. I still have to get up and function. I don't have the luxury or reckless nature to abandon my life. So, I reluctantly force myself to go on. Even though, I'm on a roller coaster of emotions. I am leaning on those people around me that I trust and seeking outlets for my frustration and grieving process. I joined this forum for daily on line support and a support group called compassionate friends that is a national organization with local chapters that meet once a month. Look them up and join a local group in your area. It may help you through your loss and pain. Just remember you are not alone and help is here for you. This is our life now, a club no one wants to join. BTW, I mostly read and an going to follow the Loss of an Adult child board. I hope you find some comfort here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lara8 Posted March 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 Hi Pam, I am Lara. I lost my only child and son, Jesse, on 2-1-2011 as a result of a car accident. He was 29. He was my light, my best friend and everyday I seem to miss him more and more. I am so thankful to have this site and these people to come to. Sometimes I just read and cry for all our beautiful kids. Jesse was a musician and artist and had the most magnetic personality. He had just moved back in with my husband and me the week before his accident and we had a geat time listening to music and being goofy. I never know when my grief will start pouring out; today it was while I was at the dentist. The office manager came back and sat with me. She had lost her daughter, too, and just being with someone this had happened to really helped me feel better. My hope for you is you will find some solace here, sharing with all the wonderful people. For me, I always log out feeling a bit better than when I came on, and hope this happens for you, too. I am so very sorry you have lost your beloved son. Sincerely, Lara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members star Posted April 10, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 I just wanted to say, that its my first time here. They say I was "lead here". For some healing. After I began to see a pattern of "Validation".My name is SHANNON My fiances last name is RAY. My oldest sons name was SHANE He was 22 youngIt has been 3years and 5 months since I lost him and my baby Tyler 17 they were passengers in a hrrific crash. Since then, My days of 'Really" being "Present in the moment". are far and inbetween. Just another long day....just thought Id say hello. Since our names are the same !lolHi Pam my name is Sharon I lost my son Shane on January 15th 2011, I know what you mean I am a mom first, I have 5 kids Shane was my youngest son he was 22 yrs young. I to have to work everyday and it sucks,I also wish I could run away and just be by myself. I feel so lost with out my Shane he had a smile and heart that could melt anyone. He was to be a father for the 1st time in July. I am fighting very hard just to survive I hope you keep coming back here it helps just to talk.. Shanes mom Sharon.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted April 10, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 Good Morning Shannon,I bid you a very sad welcome and am so glad you found our wonderful supportive little group I am so very sorry for the loss of your two precious angels Shawn and Tyler. What a difficult painful experience for you Even if it has been over 3 years the pain does not go away I lost my own child Stephen nearly 4 years ago and coming here after year 1 was the most important Acton I have taken since the loss.A fine group of parents who have lost their children post to "Loss of Adult Child" Board just above your posting. Visit there , read and when you would like to share just hit Add Reply button at the top of the message board You will then connect with many like minded moms and dads who will welcome you .When you can post an album in the Gallery so we can share the smiles and life of your two wonderful childrenKeep coming back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted April 10, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 I just wanted to say, that its my first time here. They say I was "lead here". For some healing. After I began to see a pattern of "Validation".My name is SHANNON My fiances last name is RAY. My oldest sons name was SHANE He was 22 youngIt has been 3years and 5 months since I lost him and my baby Tyler 17 they were passengers in a hrrific crash. Since then, My days of 'Really" being "Present in the moment". are far and inbetween. Just another long day....just thought Id say hello. Since our names are the same !lolShannon (Star),Thank you for coming here. I am absolutely sorry to hear about the tragedy that took your boys Shane and Tyler. You have come to the right place to share and find encouragement as you move forward. Feel free to tell us the stories of Shane and Tyler when you are ready. We will be here to listen.ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members star Posted April 16, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2011 I find the details of your story, I always say whats on my mind. A believer in afterlife? Im a gifted and burdoned "Psychic-Medium" as my gifts cant apply to me. Im sharing this with yo. Only whrn Im prompted I give it to GOD Im a voice ONLY. If I get into trouble. han its still was meant. Im just gonna give what I see hear feelyellow sweat shirt-wasp or bee. red rose love. upper stomache pain. a note on frig. unfinished. He says "Yes mom I diid, I didnt want to. untied converse sneakers, stephanie, pliler or fill, little stuffed orange lion. loved the heart shaped flowers. Dont be startled by that song, its just me, LIVING OUT LOUD. Sit with it. Im not a practicing Medium as I am letting god guide those who need me. Blessings Im drained....Hopefully you will have a break ShannonI just wanted to say, that its my first time here. They say I was "lead here". For some healing. After I began to see a pattern of "Validation".My name is SHANNON My fiances last name is RAY. My oldest sons name was SHANE He was 22 youngIt has been 3years and 5 months since I lost him and my baby Tyler 17 they were passengers in a hrrific crash. Since then, My days of 'Really" being "Present in the moment". are far and inbetween. Just another long day....just thought Id say hello. Since our names are the same !lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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