Why start rumors after someone loses their spouse

[ModKatB]

I am trying to figure out why someone would want to start a rumor that I got married 4 months after my husband of 21 years died. I went to see some of my husbands extended family today and got a shock. It was said that I had already remarried and did it so soon after my husband died. I am doing better these days and have been learning to deal with missing him but this made me so mad and angry and it hurt me that they would think that I could be so cold.

I loved my husband then and I still love him today. I am not looking for anyone to take his place. I don't know what will happen in the future but I know that right now my heart still belongs to him and I still feel like his wife. I am able to smile and laugh and life is starting to feel like something I want to be a part of, but it is as a widow not as a available single person.

People will say stupid things but I feel like this went just a bit too far and the ones that heard this rumor really thought badly of me. I was able to clear it up but it still hurts. 

[JES]

@ModKatB  I' m sorry someone did that to you, and even that others would believe it. Some people just love drama, and when they can't find it, they create it.  Unfortunately too many people like that. Don't let it bother you too much,  you know the truth and thats all that matters.  Jeanne

[foreverhis]

Oh my.  I am still surprised by how nasty and hurtful some people can be.  I'm so sorry you have to deal with new pain and disappointment that someone would do this and that his family would believe it.

Is there even the slightest chance that the person spreading the rumor saw a wedding announcement for someone with your name and assumed it was you?  That is the only possible thing I can think of that might mitigate it.  But even if so, why didn't the person call or come to you and just ask?

It's disgusting that anyone would hurt you even more than you've been hurt by losing the love of your life.

[KayC]

Kat,

I am so sorry you experienced that.  I do not get how people could be so heartless and cruel.  What I don't get either is why no one came to you and checked with YOU before assuming it?  

You are the sweetest person, it's just hard to understand how anyone could hurt you this way, isn't your losing him enough hurt for one lifetime?!

[Kal1120]

My husband died a little over a year ago in a car accident. I was pregnant with our only child. His (unmarried) best friend since childhood was a huge support to me, and continues to be. I think it’s helping both of us to navigate the grieving process. Anyway, I was out somewhere a few months ago and ran into somebody I hadn’t seen in a long time. The person made a comment that I seemed to be doing better/handling things better, which maybe(?). They then made the comment that they were sure my getting re-married so quickly to his best friend probably helped. WHAT? I’m not even thinking about going on a date, let alone getting married again. The person wouldn’t tell me where they heard that rumor but said “everybody knew”. It’s incomprehensible to me why anybody would even suggest I’m remarried, let alone to his best friend.

I’m sorry that happened to you. 

[ModKatB]

6 hours ago, Kal1120 said:

The person wouldn’t tell me where they heard that rumor but said “everybody knew”. It’s incomprehensible to me why anybody would even suggest I’m remarried, let alone to his best friend.

Sorry you had to go thru that. I guess people just can't help themselves sometimes. 

[KayC]

@Kal1120  I'm sorry you also experienced that.  Unreal!  I don't have much use for people who'd spread a rumor but not identify their source...they're protecting the wrong person!  Slander is not only vicious, it's also illegal, something people forget.  The damage immeasurable.  As if you didn't have enough on your plate to deal with.