Members kasey Posted May 31, 2019 Members Report Posted May 31, 2019 My dad passed away in January, He had stage 4 kidney cancer. It's been really hard for me since i was so close to him. when i was growing up we did everything together, we went to the movies, we went to Disneyland, and we just sat around watching TV together. I moved up to Oregon from California in March of 2018, he would call me every few days just to see how i was doing since we didn't talk all the time like we used to. One day he was complaining that his back was hurting and he didn't know what he did to it. Then a few weeks later his legs gave out on him so he needed my moms help to walk and get around. He called me crying in September of 2018 saying that the MRI he had showed that he had a tumor crushing his spine and that he had a tumor in his kidney. My mom got his a wheelchair and she had ordered him leg braces because he was determined to walk again. He was able to meet my son in December of 2018, and he kept telling me how beautiful he was and that he couldn't wait to bring him on his first trip to Disneyland. About 2 weeks after that is when I got the call from my mom at 6 am on Monday January 14,2019 that my dad, my role model and my best friend had passed away. Part of me feels guilty that i couldn't go out to California to help with him and maybe give my mom a break but i was pregnant so i couldn't really go out there and be with them. He won't watch my son grow up, take him to Disneyland, walk me down the aisle. I'm not used to writing these kind of things, my mom wanted to me talk to a counselor or someone, some days are worse then others, but I keep my head up for my son
Members reader Posted June 1, 2019 Members Report Posted June 1, 2019 Dear Kasey, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am sorry for your loss. It is devastating to lose your beloved and treasured father. Grief is crippling and the first year is the toughest. Please know you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings and we are all here to lean on each other. I also found these websites helpful in coping with my grief. What's Your Grief Grief Healing Blog Grief in Common Grief Share Thinking of you.
Members Nova Posted June 1, 2019 Members Report Posted June 1, 2019 Kasey, I'm right there with you. My dad died 2 years ago from complications from pneumonia, and keeping it together for my daughter (who was his world and he was her best friend, btw) is really hard. It's especially hard because my son was born just as he went into the hospital, so he didn't even really get to know him. He held him a few times but he never got to understand his unique personality and my son will forever suffer that loss without knowing what he's missing. I don't have a lot to offer other than condolences and platitudes, but I can say it will get better with time. That's the hardest thing about losing a parent, it's getting used to not having them to talk to and help you through the minutiae and the big parts of life after they're gone. I still have days that my first reaction to events that occur is to tell my dad about it, and I'm still saddened every time I remember that he's gone. Let me know if you have any other issues, I'm here for you to say that it won't go away but the pain will fade.
Members kasey Posted June 1, 2019 Author Members Report Posted June 1, 2019 Kasey, I'm right there with you. My dad died 2 years ago from complications from pneumonia, and keeping it together for my daughter (who was his world and he was her best friend, btw) is really hard. It's especially hard because my son was born just as he went into the hospital, so he didn't even really get to know him. He held him a few times but he never got to understand his unique personality and my son will forever suffer that loss without knowing what he's missing. I don't have a lot to offer other than condolences and platitudes, but I can say it will get better with time. That's the hardest thing about losing a parent, it's getting used to not having them to talk to and help you through the minutiae and the big parts of life after they're gone. I still have days that my first reaction to events that occur is to tell my dad about it, and I'm still saddened every time I remember that he's gone. Let me know if you have any other issues, I'm here for you to say that it won't go away but the pain will fade. I’m just so glad he got to meet my son and he help him while he sat in his wheel chair but he didn’t get to know my sines personality eitherSent from my iPhone using Grieving.com
Members Kevin8988 Posted June 12, 2019 Members Report Posted June 12, 2019 My dad passed away 3 days ago. I have been very lonely, sad and numb since then. I feel part of me is gone too. I miss him so much. At night, I am afraid to go to sleep because I am afraid I would forget him when I wake up. I keep having flashbacks of the wonderful moments we had, and I just cried and cried. I am a loner my whole life, and now I am left with nobody to talk to. Thanks to this forum, I can write about my grieving.
Members Kevin8988 Posted June 14, 2019 Members Report Posted June 14, 2019 Everyday when I wake up, I can not believe dad is gone. It take a long time for me to get out of bed, like there is no reason to start my day anymore.
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