My boyfriend was killed

[Glenna G]

I'm a 66 yo widow, my husband died 20 years ago. For several years, I had a friend whose company I enjoyed, then, when I was 60, we realized we were more than friends. This wonderful man was my boyfriend for almost 6 years, when he was killed in a motorcycle accident in October of 2018. He gave me a new lease on life, and even though I have a daughter and granddaughter that I love, life isn't fun or interesting anymore. We traveled together, had a Wednesday night date night every week, and spent most Friday and Saturday nights together, going out to listen to music, or staying in at my house and cooking together and watching movies. Now I don't want to do much of anything. I didn't go through this when my husband died, but I was 46, not 66. I looked for things to do then, now I just want to stay at home. I do have friends that talk me into going out some, but I usually wish I was at home when I go out. It's been over 7 months, and while I'm not in pain as much as I was, I'm sad all of the time. 

[JES]

@Glenna G  I am so sad that you are having to go through this for the second time.  Life just is so unfair.  Its hard enough to survive this one time.  Just know I'm thinking of you and wishing you a moments peace. We are all here for you. Hugs Jeanne

[KayC]

Glenna,

I'm so sorry you're enduring this kind of loss again, how hard.  I'm also 66, can't drive at night, so my nights are very much alone.  I hope you're very understanding and patient with yourself, 7 months isn't a lot of time to process and adjust to something of this magnitude.  I hope you develop some other friendships and people to do things with, although I know it won't be the same.  (((hugs)))

[Glenna G]

Thank you, Jeanne and Kay, it helps to talk to people who have gone through it. At the 6 month point I spent a week with my granddaughter and thought I had turned a corner, but the Memorial Day holiday set me back. When my husband died, I was still working and was 20 years younger and hoped I'd find someone again. It took 14 years to do that, and I only had 6 years with him. My husband had 3 heart attacks before the one that killed him, and I knew I'd outlive him. My boyfriend was 7 years younger that I am, and I just know he'd outlive me. His mother is still alive, and has now lost both of her children, he daughter died of cancer 8 years ago. I feel so bad for her, and we have been able to comfort each other to some degree. I helped her clear out his house and brought his cats home with me, and I know she appreciates that. He had other property that I couldn't help her with, but it's being settled.

[KayC]

I'm glad his mother and you have each other to share in this.  And his cats.  When my husband died, our cat Tigger waited around for two months for him to come home and when he didn't, he took one long look at me, turned tail and left, I never saw him again.  He was closer to George because George always played with him when I was fixing dinner, but I didn't expect him to leave either.

I'm sure this has all been such a shock to you, especially him being younger than you.  A mother should never have to bury her children, either, that's really hard.

[Billie Rae]

Glenna G
I'm so sorry.I also have been through this twice,in 1996 My husband killed himself,and it took me until 2009 to find my Charlie,January 16 I also lost him to cancer.
You are right,when we are younger we are more resilient and I think more confident
Now I'm 57 not 35 and am pretty sure I won't have another.
I also feel like every man I love deeply dies so really,would I want to put that on another one?
Its good you and his mother have each other to grieve with.
We are here for you,and we get it all.
Love
Billie



Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

Oh sweet Billie Rae, you are not a jinx, you do not cause their deaths.  Quite the contrary, I'd venture to say you brought them life!

[Glenna G]

Billie Rae, please don't feel that you are to blame. Life is sometimes unfair, but I don't believe any of us are jinxed. You are young enough to find love again, if it's what you want. I hope that you find happiness again someday. even if not in the form of another life partner. We all deserve to be happy.