Just tired

[JulieY]

I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm tired.  I've slept maybe 10 hours in the last three days.  I have no money.  I have no insurance.  I have no one I can count on except my family and they live too far away for any emergencies.  My job is pretty much a dead end.  The guy who was cutting my yard quit and I can't afford anyone new.  My allergies are beyond rotten.  Guess I don't need to mention that the love of my life is gone.  Life isn't a bowl of cherries right now.  Even though I'm lonely all the time, I very rarely leave the house except to go grocery shopping or to work.  I'm terrified to make any changes in my life because I just can't stand any more right now.  But then, I wonder, is THIS all there is?  I can't imagine another couple of decades living like this.  I've got to do something besides sit in my house and talk to my cat.  Tonight, I feel like I've lost myself...or my mind...or both.  No idea where to find either one.

Venting at least makes me feel a little better.  

[hana18]

I totally relate to your statement “I can’t imagine another couple decades living like this”. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this pain, I’m sorry we both ended up on this forum. I wish I had something reassuring to say to you. I hope the future is better

[Billie Rae]

JulieY,ah sweet one,I to can't sleep,an hour here an hour there.No money,no insurance,yep.My family far away check,but I have been forced to make changes and I'm terrified but I also think it may be good for me to have to go into a new situation and talk to new people even if I don't want to.As we keep saying,one day,one hour at a time.
Be gentle to yourself,go slow.
Know that I care.
Love to you
Billie

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

Julie, been there, felt that, do too often.  I am so sorry hon.  I'm feeling similar...the guy that was supposed to cut up the trees/branches from the storm so we can start a burn pile still has not showed up and it's been almost two months now.  Had to get rid of two broken lawnmowers, no money for another and no one seems interested in my hiring them to mow the lawn.   No family close except a disabled sister with dementia that has never been able to help me, instead it's been the other way around as she doesn't drive.  We really want/need that partner that put their arms around us and assured us everything was going to be okay.  We no longer have that, but I do thank God we have this forum, even though we can't help with the day to day practical things, we can understand and care...putting my virtual arms around you and praying for you to have a better day today and even better tonight...sleeping.