After Holiday tears

[JES]

I woke up feeling so sad today, teary eyed,  just down.  I opened drawers, thought I'd try to go thru afew of Kevins clothes, had to shut them,  just can't do it yet, feeling extra fatigued.  I actually had a fairly good Easter weekend.  Started thurs. night with grandaughters volleyball game, went out to grocery stores twice, made potato salad for Easter,  plant from sister and visit,  Easter at my daughterinlaws parents,  phone calls from Kevins childhood friend, another from his work partner , they both call me off and on to check on me, texts, calls from others. I feel blessed to have people who care, but yet I feel so alone today, so empty, and missing him so much.  Usually after a holiday we were happy it was over so we could just have a day to ourselves.  Does anyone else feel the loss more today? Or maybe its just me.  I went thru these same feelings after Christmas holidays.  Or mabbe cause I was surrounded by others, that my grief hits harder later?  I hope others here were able to get thru the holiday weekend ok.  I was thinking of you all,  knowing holidays are hard.  Am so glad I have this forum to come to,  as at almost 7 months now,  I feel strange telling others how I'm still feeling..its just I know you all get it.  Thanks for listening, just putting it in words helps me abit.  Jeanne

[SSC]

Hi Jeanne, yes I feel the same as you, The day after the holiday is always so sad.  

We would feel the same, the day after was a day to ourselves, the holiday being fun but full of responsibility.  Our time together with no expectations and just being ourselves.  Low stress and probably hanging around the house... I’d do anything to have one of those a days right now..it sounds like heaven.

[JES]

@SSC  I think you explain it well,  it was our day together,  just us, no company, no expectations.  It basically, was our own little holiday.  Im sorry we are all having to go thru this.....

[Billie Rae]

I'm feeling teary today also,but I think it's more the shock is wearing off,just hit 3 months a few days ago.I'm blessed to have my client to come to,after every weekend and holiday she greets me with a joyous"oh Billie,welcome back I've missed you so much".It makes me feel loved and needed.
Sweet Jeanne,take today and spoil yourself,bubble bath and wine and cuddly clothes.know I love you my friend
[emoji307][emoji8]
Billie

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[JES]

@Billie Rae  Oh my dear.....Im so sad,  your loss is still so new.  Yes it does take time for shock to wear off.  I was hardly able to cope at all for first 4 months, then I finally reached out here.   I still can't imagine all of you who have to go to work so soon....  I am glad your client is so happy to see you,  it seems be our only bits of joy.  My daughterinlaws father was cutting down tree and fell and broke back day before Kevin died. He came home a week later with a neck to waist body cast and needed care every day,  and of course his wife had to go back to work so I volunteered a couple days ( in my 2nd week of grief)  I know I was in shock but we talked and talked about Kevin and I got to know him so much better. He still tells me I was his favorite caregiver,  had Easter with them and my son, his daughter & family.  I told them yesterday I think it helped me more than I helped him.  Now even though their daughter is my sons wife, I feel like they are new friends.  Its strange how things happen.  Kevin and I knew them before of course, but didn't have that bond.  They have included me so much,  I now am part of the whole bigger family.  The kindness of others means so much, and I thankyou also for your kindness to me and others, especially during your toughest times.  Thinking of you and sending love. Jeanne

[Billie Rae]

Jeanne,yes,before Charlie's cancer my clients family and I cared about each other but didn't mix personally but when he was so ill they wrapped me in Love and family and we are so close now.I couldn't do well without them.My family is 80 miles away so I don't see them much and the love of this family keeps me safe.
Love you and you all
Billie

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

21 hours ago, JES said:

I opened drawers, thought I'd try to go thru afew of Kevins clothes, had to shut them,  just can't do it yet,

And it's okay to honor your feelings and not push yourself for what you aren't ready for.  There is no timeline.  It's okay if they sit there ten years or if you never do it at all, go at your own pace.  Unless one has to move, there is no rush.

I spent Easter alone so it was hard, never heard from my daughter, son is camping.  So of course it was a letdown, but my church helped, the men fixed breakfast and they had a children's program for the service, it was going home alone afterwards that was hard, knowing others were spending the day with their families.  Nothing easy about this even all these years later.  The one person in life that truly cared about me is gone.  Until we meet again...