my mom

[Cheeriehugs]

I'm in need of prayer. My mother who was only 59 died of a heart attack last week.  My Dad found her body next to her bed. 

She was like my best friend. I never spent more then three days without her.

I am terribly bereaved and I am having panic attacks several times a day.

I just can't believe she is gone. Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

Thank you! 

[nuvar]

My deepest condolences.

Please take care and know that we are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Feel free to post here

[Nicole-my grief journey]

Cheeriehugs,

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your mother. I know it is painful and scary to experience this. We are never prepared to lose our moms and it is a profound loss. I am praying for you and your dad. I too had panic attacks. In those moments I know it takes over and it’s hard to stop the panic. When I was in my panic attacks, I would try and calm myself with deep breaths and try to pick one thing in the room to focus on. Sight, sound, smell, or texture. I also called anyone I thought could answer the phone (whoever wasn’t at work), to bring me back to the present moment. I was with my dad after my mom passed and I kept thinking “how are we going to be ok?”, “What am I going to do?”...the anxiety forced a lot of fear based questions to pop into my head in those first weeks. Being around any of the people that stopped by got me out of those thoughts. I found it taxing and difficult to speak to the people around us and I was in so much emotional pain and exhausted, but it was helpful just to have a physical presence of someone near me. I hope that your friends, your dads friends and your moms friends are surrounding you. They may not know what to do or say, but everyone is hurting and you need each other. We are here for you too. Keep writing and sharing. My mom was my best friend and I didn’t think or feel like I could go on and I am still here. My dad is still here. It’s not sunshine, rainbows and perfect, but we are doing our best and our relationship has changed in a way I didn’t expect. We are each others ears now and support system. It’s obviously not the same as my relationship I had with my mom, but I am grateful for him and that he is trying when I know he doesn’t know what to do. We are slowly finding out way and I have hope that you and your dad will too. 

Many hugs to you,

Nicole