Dr. says its Acute stress

[Nely]

I have been feeling weak this past few days. It was so bad today that I could not do anything reasonable at work. I managed to drive myself to the hospital, tests were conducted. Nothing was found. Dr came back to say its acute stress. 

Anybody with any advise that can help? I know that the thoughts of my husband and my life now are always on my mind. Is this begining to affect my health? I should not care what happens to me but we have a 2 yr old who needs me.

Anyone with any advise? Thank you all kindly.

I pray we all find strength on this awful journey.

[JES]

@Nely  I really don’t have much advice but I can relate to the stress.  I think of everything I know I need to do, but usually have no energy to do it.... I know loss of my husband affects me in every way....as I’m sure does for all of us.  I hope your doctor was able to give you something to help you or at least some advice.  A little 2 year old can be a handful in good times, but also so, so precious.   All I can think of is make sure you are eating well ( healthier foods and lots of water, ) hydration so important.  I need to heed my own words, I tend to eat more junk and drink Mt. Dew cause it’s easy now but know it’s not good.  Or maybe you just have a touch of a flu bug that doctor didn’t catch?  Praying that you will start feeling better and sending you hugs. Jeanne

[Nely]

@JES I really appreciate your kind words and advise. It means so much to me.

My son is indeed very precious and amiable too. I draw so much strength from him. Regarding eating, I may be guilty on this one. In the first few months eating was a problem for me, months later, all I see myself do is eat even when I am not hungry ( I do not understand it at all) and a lot of junk too.

This morning was really hard for me as I broke down uncontrollably in the office. I do not know how 'to take care of myself' as the Dr advised. How does a broken person take care of herself anyway? Hmmmm. I will keep trying for the sake of my son but IT IS HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! ITS OVERWHELMING AND IT IS SOMETIMES SUFFOCATING!

Thanks again Jes for your kind words.

I pray you also find strength and peace...

Sending you love....

[KayC]

Stay in close contact with your PCP...my husband made me promise to get a stress test when he was on his deathbed, I did.  I had edema real bad after he died, had to go to the doctor for that, flush out with drinking lots of water, he also put me on diuretics.  Stress can affect our bodies in so many ways.  When George passed, my daughter broke out in boils!  Also had to go to the doctor.

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/03/physical-reactions-to-loss.html

Meditation is a good way of lowering the stress in our bodies.
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/03/physical-reactions-to-loss.html
There are free links here, many pages of them have been shared.  I'd start with a short one, ten minutes or so tops. 
https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/7778-meditation/

Also, lavender essential oil is supposed to be calming.

[Billie Rae]

@Nely yes it does affect us,since Charlie died I have been sick,a cold,the flue,my back hurts,my arms ache,this from a person who has never been ill very much,in 8 years I only missed work 1 time due to illness,now I can't feel good.To relieve some stress I walk as long as I can go.I try to keep my protein levels up and take B vitamins.Magnesium in the evening,only 200 mg if you're over 40.I also use an app called calm(the free version)these things help me a little bit.
My love to you
Billie

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

17 minutes ago, Billie Rae said:

To relieve some stress I walk as long as I can go

How can I forget that?!!!  I take two walks every day, morning and afternoon/evening, I love walking in nature and it benefits my dog too!

[foreverhis]

I remember the toll my dad's death took on my mom.  He had a stroke and died a week later.  Less than a week after that, my mom was showing all the signs of type II diabetes.  Sure enough, the shock had thrown her body so far over the edge that she developed diabetes almost overnight.  She may well have been leaning that way, but hadn't really had any symptoms or out-of-bounds test results before then.

I've been having all kinds of physical reactions over the past 18 months.  I started to gain weight while my husband was sick, even though I wasn't eating more or anything.  Apparently, my body started to and is still pumping out cortisol, which says, "Something's wrong.  Better hold onto every ounce of fat."  From skin to joint to digestive, every part of my body is flaring up.

It's a proven fact that widows and widowers are far more likely than the general public and their peers to become ill, have serious infections, develop cancers or other serious conditions, gain or lose excess amounts of weight, and even die during the first year or two.  How can it be otherwise?  Grieving and the stress from it are bound to take a huge toll on every part of us.

I'm taking an anti-depressant at clinical levels for now.  At 1/2 dose it's something I take for one of my auto-immune conditions.  I also have an anti-anxiety med that helps (somewhat) with sleep.  I'm needing my pain meds a lot more than before.

To help with stress and physical symptoms, I'm also doing my physical therapy and using our recumbent bike every day.  Sometimes it's not very much, but I push myself to do it.  A friend has asked me to try taking her restorative yoga classes (complementary, which is very nice).  I'm going to go to a session next week.  Now that the weather is starting to be better, I'm going to try to work in the garden and walk outside when I can.

Other than those things, my doctor says time is the only thing that will help.  In the meantime, I'm supposed to keep track of my blood pressure, etc. and report any severe symptoms, infections, or rapid changes.  It's darn scary knowing that my mind and heart are effecting my body this way.  But I'm not really surprised.

[JES]

For 2 months I couldnt eat much at all,  I was so skinny...remember exact day I felt hungry again..thanksgiving at my daughterinlaws parents.  My body needed good food so bad, now Im back to normal weight again. My daughterlaw ( a PA ) would have me get on scale at my house, and bring food cause they were so worried.  It does take a toll on our bodies. I also suffered with 2 back to back ( maybe same one) ear infections right after Kevin passed away.  I refused antibiotics as Kevin had gotten C-diff after antibiotics ( he went downhill after that) but eventually after trying teatree oil, olive oil, vinegar, garlic juice mixtures in my ear, it healed.  Our whole body gets so rundown during grieving process...anxiety, stress, it just cant keep up. I have to wonder how any of us even survive through this trauma.  Thinking of all. 

[Billie Rae]

For 2 months I couldnt eat much at all,  I was so skinny...remember exact day I felt hungry again..thanksgiving at my daughterinlaws parents.  My body needed good food so bad, now Im back to normal weight again. My daughterlaw ( a PA ) would have me get on scale at my house, and bring food cause they were so worried.  It does take a toll on our bodies. I also suffered with 2 back to back ( maybe same one) ear infections right after Kevin passed away.  I refused antibiotics as Kevin had gotten C-diff after antibiotics ( he went downhill after that) but eventually after trying teatree oil, olive oil, vinegar, garlic juice mixtures in my ear, it healed.  Our whole body gets so rundown during grieving process...anxiety, stress, it just cant keep up. I have to wonder how any of us even survive through this trauma.  Thinking of all. 

I too am way to skinny my clothes just hang on me.I have a high metabolism and need to eat often but I forget I can't even finish my morning protein shake anymore.Everyone used to tease me about my appitite no more now I'm kinda sickly.
Love you

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[JES]

@Billie Rae  I hope your appetite comes back. I drank my food those first 2 months, Boost, Ensure, Atkins, anything with calories,  even if I had to force it.  From looking at your “before” picture,  ( just perfect) I can’t imagine how thin you must be now if your clothes are hanging on you. Being sick probably didn’t help either.   It’s so hard what this grief process does to us. Take care and try to force calories if you can. Love you