Members moniqtorre Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Can anyone tell me if they gone through something like this, I lost my 18yr. old son over a year ago. We lived in Florida, I move there many years ago to raise my kids. My son was a good boy he just made a bad mistake, he was walking home from school on the train track while listening to his ipod wearing headphones the train was comming up from behind, struck and killed him. I cant tell you the mental and emotional sadness ive been going through. Five months after his death i moved back to my home state California and reconnected with my family. And i have been through I learn that they all cant talk about what happen to my son because they dont know what to say or it makes them feel uncomfortable one person even said 'I dont have to bring him up in every conversation",,,, And I fell like Dont u freakin tell me when or when not to talk about my son! If you dont like that I say my son's name then F U. That was my response to my family. Does anyone know what im talking about if so please reply I would love to hear your story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members charsng1234 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 My name is sharon, I also lost my 22 yr old 6 weeks ago. I live in a smaller town thought if I moved them here they would be safe! My son was at a party with ppl he though were his friends no one cared he was so drunk he ran when the police came. He walked into a neighbors yard and the man that lived there shot him in the head.. My son died that night I was up looking for him since 4am no one could find him.Now this is a wealthy neighborhood and the ppl that live there claim they were so scared but sleep with a gun and there doors open. I am hurting so bad for my loss and yours. You have a right to vent, yell or just talk about your son anytime you want.. Please join us on losing a child, than click on losing an adult child.. There are so may wonderful mom's that can walk you through your pain. They are helping me.. Shanes mom... Sharon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members westleysmom Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss. It is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, to lose their child. My entire family was heartbroken when my 20 year old son died January 13, 2010. He had spent the night at a friend's house and when she tried to wake him in the morning, she couldn't. He had taken a prescription painkiller and had a couple of beers and he had sleep apnea. The end result was he quit breathing and died during the night or early morning. There are people that I talk to about Westley now, and people that I don't. You would think that your family would always be the ones you could talk to about your loss, but from different people that I've talked to that have been through this kind of loss, that's not always true. I have found that I can ALWAYS talk about Westley on the Loss of Adult Child thread on this forum. If you go there, just hit reply and start talking. All of the people there have lost a child or grandchild and know that sometimes you just have to talk about them. We have to remember that they are more than the day they died. They were wondeful, special, magical people and we have so many special memories of them that will help us through the darkness that we live in now that they are gone. It is painful at first to remember how special they were since they are gone. I can't tell you how to get your family to be more supportive, but the group here has helped me a lot. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope that you will come back and put a picture of your dear boy and tell us all about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 Hi and Welcome I am so sorry for the loss of your oh so preciouos son. I lost my only child Stephen 4 years ago and this wonderful Board saved my sanity and life. You are not alone and when you post here or just read you are welcomed and understood. No one will tell you what to say or how to grieve Please come often tell us about your son and know you are heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmb22 Posted February 25, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2011 I'm am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I lost my son 5 1/2 months ago in a motorcycle accident and know your devastation, he was my world and reason for breathing. My family, aside from a couple, have been pathetic. Most of my "friends", including some who have been in my life for over 20 yrs, disappeared quickly. Many have said the most incredibly painful things. Some have been bold enough to tell me they can't handle my pain though most just stopped coming around. In this place I've found the most loving and kind people; I'm honored to know each of their kind souls. We will never tell you not to speak about your precious child nor will we ever judge the path your journey takes...anger, tears, and all, we share all of these feelings with you. Please join us in the loss of an adult section of the forum as others here have mentioned. Though the main part of the board seems to be getting more activity lately most of us post there daily and many don't check the main board often. I would love to hear more about your handsome, wonderful son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moniqtorre Posted March 1, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 I am so sorry for the loss of your son, he's a very good looking boy,,, I also have some friends and family members who stop comming around, the worse is the one person who said "I need to get over it,,, Let it go" that was my own mother..I'm am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I lost my son 5 1/2 months ago in a motorcycle accident and know your devastation, he was my world and reason for breathing. My family, aside from a couple, have been pathetic. Most of my "friends", including some who have been in my life for over 20 yrs, disappeared quickly. Many have said the most incredibly painful things. Some have been bold enough to tell me they can't handle my pain though most just stopped coming around. In this place I've found the most loving and kind people; I'm honored to know each of their kind souls. We will never tell you not to speak about your precious child nor will we ever judge the path your journey takes...anger, tears, and all, we share all of these feelings with you. Please join us in the loss of an adult section of the forum as others here have mentioned. Though the main part of the board seems to be getting more activity lately most of us post there daily and many don't check the main board often. I would love to hear more about your handsome, wonderful son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moniqtorre Posted March 1, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Thank you Rhonda and I to am sorry for your loss aswell...I am so sorry for your loss. It is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, to lose their child. My entire family was heartbroken when my 20 year old son died January 13, 2010. He had spent the night at a friend's house and when she tried to wake him in the morning, she couldn't. He had taken a prescription painkiller and had a couple of beers and he had sleep apnea. The end result was he quit breathing and died during the night or early morning. There are people that I talk to about Westley now, and people that I don't. You would think that your family would always be the ones you could talk to about your loss, but from different people that I've talked to that have been through this kind of loss, that's not always true. I have found that I can ALWAYS talk about Westley on the Loss of Adult Child thread on this forum. If you go there, just hit reply and start talking. All of the people there have lost a child or grandchild and know that sometimes you just have to talk about them. We have to remember that they are more than the day they died. They were wondeful, special, magical people and we have so many special memories of them that will help us through the darkness that we live in now that they are gone. It is painful at first to remember how special they were since they are gone. I can't tell you how to get your family to be more supportive, but the group here has helped me a lot. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope that you will come back and put a picture of your dear boy and tell us all about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moniqtorre Posted March 1, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Betty some times i sit and think to myself " I cant even imagine the day when i say Wow! 10, 20, or 30 ect. yrs. have pass scese my son's been gone".. god bless.Hi and Welcome I am so sorry for the loss of your oh so preciouos son. I lost my only child Stephen 4 years ago and this wonderful Board saved my sanity and life. You are not alone and when you post here or just read you are welcomed and understood. No one will tell you what to say or how to grieve Please come often tell us about your son and know you are heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moniqtorre Posted March 1, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 My son's death also had something to do with his friend not being around when he was suppose to .. i feel your pain My name is sharon, I also lost my 22 yr old 6 weeks ago. I live in a smaller town thought if I moved them here they would be safe! My son was at a party with ppl he though were his friends no one cared he was so drunk he ran when the police came. He walked into a neighbors yard and the man that lived there shot him in the head.. My son died that night I was up looking for him since 4am no one could find him.Now this is a wealthy neighborhood and the ppl that live there claim they were so scared but sleep with a gun and there doors open. I am hurting so bad for my loss and yours. You have a right to vent, yell or just talk about your son anytime you want.. Please join us on losing a child, than click on losing an adult child.. There are so may wonderful mom's that can walk you through your pain. They are helping me.. Shanes mom... Sharon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lara8 Posted March 1, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 I lost my son, only child and best friend 4 weeks ago as the result of a car accident and I am so sorry for your loss. A couple of friends and family members have not known what to do, so have done nothing. I don't know why that makes me angry; I have always been of mind to live and let live. I understand where they're coming from in my head, but my heart is broken at seemingly losing them as well. I am trying not to fault them, but just did not expect the total silence. I am finding out who my friends really are! I hope you continue to come to this site. The people here REALLY UNDERSTAND and have brought me so much comfort on many dark nights. I am fortunate to have an amazing support system in family and friends, and I want you to know that I am here, as well as all parents on this site. Love, Lara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moniqtorre Posted March 2, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 2, 2011 Dear Lara, I know exactly what your saying. When my son died I notice a change with the people in my life (the change was) All the people I was close to,,, We we're no longer close and All the people I weren't close to,,, We had become close. And I think it was because they couldn't stand seeing me in that state of mind. Im sorry for your loss and i feel for you, 4 weeks ago is such a freash wound. Love,, Monique I lost my son, only child and best friend 4 weeks ago as the result of a car accident and I am so sorry for your loss. A couple of friends and family members have not known what to do, so have done nothing. I don't know why that makes me angry; I have always been of mind to live and let live. I understand where they're coming from in my head, but my heart is broken at seemingly losing them as well. I am trying not to fault them, but just did not expect the total silence. I am finding out who my friends really are! I hope you continue to come to this site. The people here REALLY UNDERSTAND and have brought me so much comfort on many dark nights. I am fortunate to have an amazing support system in family and friends, and I want you to know that I am here, as well as all parents on this site. Love, Lara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted March 2, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 2, 2011 hi monique....my name is diane....i lost my son, nathan, to suicide, 1-21-11....the worst pain i ever imagined....i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't think....i feel your pain....i do. we are all here together, not by choice. i am so sorry you have to be here with us...we are all sorry we are here together. i am also having a terrible time in this place, finding myself in this terrible grief...my pain, my sadness, my heartache is wrose than anything i ever imagined. it has shattered my heart, my soul, my life. i feel like i can't breathe, i can't think, i can't walk. come to the adult site and talk to us...come and hold our hands and let's get through stp by step together...it won't be easy, but together, we can vent, we can yell, we can cry, we can say what ever is on our minds and hopefully, we can share our grief in a way only we can understand. we feel so helpless and vulnerable....and while our grief is our own, no one can tell us how to feel, when to feel, what to do with it, we can at least have some one to listen to us rant and rave and cry. this site has helped me get through each minute of the day. whether i cry or scream or feel nothing at all...i feel your pain, your grief, your sadness....i am holding your hand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moniqtorre Posted March 5, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Dear Diane i can only imagine how terrible it is for you. My heart goes out to you and im sorry for your loss. I would love to join every one at the adult site,,,, How do i get there?hi monique....my name is diane....i lost my son, nathan, to suicide, 1-21-11....the worst pain i ever imagined....i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't think....i feel your pain....i do. we are all here together, not by choice. i am so sorry you have to be here with us...we are all sorry we are here together. i am also having a terrible time in this place, finding myself in this terrible grief...my pain, my sadness, my heartache is wrose than anything i ever imagined. it has shattered my heart, my soul, my life. i feel like i can't breathe, i can't think, i can't walk. come to the adult site and talk to us...come and hold our hands and let's get through stp by step together...it won't be easy, but together, we can vent, we can yell, we can cry, we can say what ever is on our minds and hopefully, we can share our grief in a way only we can understand. we feel so helpless and vulnerable....and while our grief is our own, no one can tell us how to feel, when to feel, what to do with it, we can at least have some one to listen to us rant and rave and cry. this site has helped me get through each minute of the day. whether i cry or scream or feel nothing at all...i feel your pain, your grief, your sadness....i am holding your hand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members westleysmom Posted March 5, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Monique-If you start at Forums tab on the far left at the top of this page, then choose Loss of a Child and then Loss of Adult Child, then when you want to post, you hit reply and type your reply like you did on this thread. There are lots of people there who will understand. I think I didn't leave anything out, but if I did, just keep looking. I hope you are feeling better and I hope to see you there when you are able to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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