Two-Year Mark & Hit a Snag

[TAM1]

Mid-January of this year I was almost to the 2-year anniversary of Len's passing, and 6 months after losing my Golden Retriever Missy, and was beginning to feel as if I could see ahead, or that I was "getting it" and could move forward more easily. Then management at work came up and offered me another assignment because someone quit, which I declined with good reason.  They came back a week later and told me I had had "no choice," took my work away and gave it to someone else, so on January 31st, 2 years to the date of Len's passing, there I was, sitting at an empty desk and being pushed into an assignment with no background, no training, and no aptitude after working in the same legal field for over 22 years.  This was a severe setback for me emotionally and physically, and I'm not picking things up in this new area, as if I'm stunned with so much change in a short period of time - this is another strange place. 

[foreverhis]

Oh, this is horrible.  Several words come to mind, none of which I would write here or say out loud in public...but I'm thinking them really loudly in my head.

I'm sorry you have had such an nasty upset.  Sometimes I look up or out or wherever and kind of shout, "Oh come on!  Enough!"  That's exactly what I'm thinking for you right now.

I wish there was more I could do to help you.  All I can say is that I'm glad you came here to let it out amongst people who will completely understand and be on your side, even if it is only virtually.

[KayC]

Oh @TAM1 I am so sorry they did this to you!  Is there a possibility you could look for another job?  I'm not sure how feasible that might be.  I wish people understood how hard hitting grief is to us.  I lost my job after George died (beginning of recession) and it was hard starting over but somehow I got through it, I know it's never comfortable.  To lose your husband and then your dog is a lot to deal with.    (((hugs)))

[TAM1]

Thank you so very much because my exact thoughts and feelings were, "Enough already!"  This offering was not a healthy "opportunity" and I sensed deeply and that it had a damaging potential, as if it was life-threatening.  After the second meeting someone asked, "I hope they didn't beat you up too badly."  Because that is the new management style as the older ones leave. Actually, I cried for days because I loved what I was doing and had done for so long. Others were shocked at how this was done and after almost two months I realize they wanted someone from inside the firm, a sort of "mole."  At first I reported a few troubling issues and was thanked and told, "That's why we put you in there."  There is one word I have not used with them - Constructive Dismissal.

This afternoon I left my apartment and drove up the coast and walked some paths and also found a place called The Sacred Space.  When I was up that way I actually smiled big-time and felt good, but also cried on the way back and realize there is healing needed in my life.  The last few days I've sensed change ahead - positive. 

My doctor has been noting all of this - I'm considering taking two weeks off (I've got 100 hours of sick/personal time).

[foreverhis]

1 hour ago, TAM1 said:

This afternoon I left my apartment and drove up the coast and walked some paths and also found a place called The Sacred Space. 

I'm glad you had a bit of a break today.  And I really I hope you are able to take a break from work.  It might help you focus on finding the best way forward for yourself without some of the day to day stresses.

[KayC]

TAM1, I also loved the job I had when my husband died and it ended within months...I spent 5 1/2 months looking for a new one just to pay the bills, at the beginning of the recession it wasn't easy to land one at my age (I was in my 50s)...I finally did but had to commute 100 miles a day and had no respect for my new boss, it was awful...I didn't mind the work but it was hard working for him and I wasn't treated as well as I had been accustomed...seven years later I retired as my eyesight was bad and could no longer drive at night, I've never regretted retiring.  Sometimes we need a break and I hope you'll get one.  Yes, when is enough, enough.

[TAM1]

Hi KayC - You are a trooper like me. I began this job about 14 years ago and am 62 now - I'm been very fortunate to be in this place.  Though four years ago my boss and I were transferred to a satellite office so my commute is 60 miles per day and I've handled that pretty well though. The satellite office is an "experiment" so the firm is giving it another run on a three-year lease to see if it's profitable and we are in one year now.  

Doing my best today though the biggest change with this new group is that it is "paperless" which isn't always possible. 

I have had this tea cup for the last few years with the words, "Courage, My Dear" - and it slipped out of my hands and shattered last night.  Time for another tea cup!

[KayC]

I, too, try to be as paperless as possible.  My son introduced me to bullzip.com you can download it for free on your computer and it installs in your printers, you chose it when you "print" and it saves as a pdf file.  It's great to not have to print things on paper, I like that I can have everything organized.

I wish you were here, I'd give you a new teacup!