The beginning.....the journey.

[Sunflower2]

I woke up this morning feeling hope but feeling hopeless.  My thoughts went to people beginning to experience this most horrific heart and life shattering experience.

Losing someone you loved will be the most challenging experience.  Everything you knew no longer exists.  Yet we are left to survive. We all left to navigate this darkness.  We find ways that only work for us.

The person who has been part of our lives is gone forever.  I still cannot absorb this yet in its wholeness.   To accept that it is final, irrevocable and that part of me as I knew me has died is incomprehensible. Yet there are moments I'm beginning to feel me again.  Differently but occasionally there is that glow. That smile that radiates again and comes from within. It comes from my partner. It is partnered with my lost.   With that please understand I still have moments of feeling hopeless and confused and lost.

You will feel you are drowning in your sorrows yet it does pass.  It does get lighter.  I know that is so difficult to imagine in your rawness but it does.  

I wish I could comfort you and have your life return to the way you knew it.  I can't do that just as my friends and those who love me could not do that for me.

There is no way to predict how you will feel.  "The reactions of grief are not like recipes, with given ingredients and certain results." 

Each of us will mourn in a different way.  Honor that and do not compare to others who have mourned.   Grief is not only frightening but it is erratic.

We each face death differently but we all share some points of reference:  numbness, denial, anger, panic, physical illness, guilt, depression.  If you experience these emotions you are not abnormal.  There are no detours around grief.

Grief work takes time.  There are so many different variables.  Just when you feel you are making great strides forward you will suddenly experience a paralyzing setback.

This are highlights I have experienced on my journey.  Be open to receive.  There is hope.  There is light. There will be joy.  Different yes but you will survive. 

Today I send love and light and comfort to those navigating through their personal loss.

 

 

[Fmf]

On 3/23/2019 at 10:44 AM, Sunflower2 said:

I woke up this morning feeling hope but feeling hopeless.  My thoughts went to people beginning to experience this most horrific heart and life shattering experience.

Losing someone you loved will be the most challenging experience.  Everything you knew no longer exists.  Yet we are left to survive. We all left to navigate this darkness.  We find ways that only work for us.

The person who has been part of our lives is gone forever.  I still cannot absorb this yet in its wholeness.   To accept that it is final, irrevocable and that part of me as I knew me has died is incomprehensible. Yet there are moments I'm beginning to feel me again.  Differently but occasionally there is that glow. That smile that radiates again and comes from within. It comes from my partner. It is partnered with my lost.   With that please understand I still have moments of feeling hopeless and confused and lost.

You will feel you are drowning in your sorrows yet it does pass.  It does get lighter.  I know that is so difficult to imagine in your rawness but it does.  

I wish I could comfort you and have your life return to the way you knew it.  I can't do that just as my friends and those who love me could not do that for me.

There is no way to predict how you will feel.  "The reactions of grief are not like recipes, with given ingredients and certain results." 

Each of us will mourn in a different way.  Honor that and do not compare to others who have mourned.   Grief is not only frightening but it is erratic.

We each face death differently but we all share some points of reference:  numbness, denial, anger, panic, physical illness, guilt, depression.  If you experience these emotions you are not abnormal.  There are no detours around grief.

Grief work takes time.  There are so many different variables.  Just when you feel you are making great strides forward you will suddenly experience a paralyzing setback.

This are highlights I have experienced on my journey.  Be open to receive.  There is hope.  There is light. There will be joy.  Different yes but you will survive. 

Today I send love and light and comfort to those navigating through their personal loss.

 

 

WOW Sunflower2 what beautiful words I wanted to quote just a section but loved everything you wrote and couldn't pick one part..  I am approaching the two month mark and in some ways it seems like its been years, yet others its like yesterday.  I like how you referred to grief as grief work.  While I never thought of it like that it certainly makes sense.  This thing we call grief affects us in so many ways and it does take work almost like a job to get through it. I have had several big events involving my teenage daughter that my husband would have been very involved with it was work facing each event and thinking of how to get through them.  I did get through them and like you said it was different but I did survive. I will certainly remember your beautiful words that there will be hope, light and joy.  Much thanks

[ModKatB]

 In this last year I have had to learn many things and one of the most important things was that, I am going to be okay. I will have bad days but I also have good days and there is hope for something more.

Something to remember as you navigate these emotions and grief.

THE MEMORIES THAT BRING PAIN AND TEARS TODAY, WILL ONE DAY BE THE MEMORIES THAT BRING HAPPINESS AND SMILES.

[Sunflower2]

23 minutes ago, ModKatB said:

THE MEMORIES THAT BRING PAIN AND TEARS TODAY, WILL ONE DAY BE THE MEMORIES THAT BRING HAPPINESS AND SMILES.

Thank you for this!