Members TabathaP Posted January 24, 2019 Members Report Posted January 24, 2019 Yesterday was the worst day of my life. Yesterday morning my dad passed away unexpectedly. He left for work as normal and never made it. He was found outside our home half in his car 5 hours later.. he was DOA... I keep replaying the moment I saw them pull him out of the car.. it was still running... he was just out there.. and we had no idea.. watching my father carried out in a body bag I can’t unsee it.. it’s barely been 24 hours and I don’t know how my family will ever get through this. I keep looking outside at his car, where he spent his last moments and I cry.. I can’t stop.. it’s just me my mom and my two sisters now.. it feels like we won’t get through this. Tomorrow we get the autopsy results and make funeral arrangements and I’m not ready.. not only am I missing my daddy but my mom’s heart is so broken, they were married 30 years, together since 19..how can she recover from losing the love of her life... I just feel so numb he was just 53..so young so healthy.. I just don’t understand why.. I can’t do this.. I keep thinking he’s going to walk back through the door... I miss you so much dad...
Members reader Posted January 24, 2019 Members Report Posted January 24, 2019 Dear Tabatha, My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is devastating and incomprehensible. Please know you are not alone. We are all thinking of you and your family during this sad and difficult time. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.
Members marbeth Posted January 25, 2019 Members Report Posted January 25, 2019 So very sorry for your loss. My dad died of a sudden heart attack while on a business trip when I was 17 and he had just turned 41. I had my mom for another 47 years until she died last year at the age of 91 after several years of decline. My mom's death was harder on me just because I was so close to her, but I still don't know which is worse: the sudden unexpected death of a loved one or a slow, lingering death. It was really hard to watch my mother deteriorate and change from the vital person she was to a mere shell of her former self. I'm still so sad that her final years were ones in which her quality of life was virtually nonexistent. I guess my point is that the shock of a sudden death could be considered mitigated somewhat by the fact that your dad (like mine) lived until he died. He didn't spend several years having his eyesight disappear, his ability to walk taken away, his mind dissolving into confusion. Obviously there's no "happy" death. We will grieve and be torn apart no matter how it happens. But we can look for whatever small comfort we can to help us survive this pain. With my mother, it was that I had a long lifetime of happy memories with her. With my father, it was that he didn't have to endure the indignities and suffering of old age. I still remember wondering if I would ever be able to think of my dad without crying. I got to that point eventually, and you and your family will too, but your pain is so raw and new right now that all you can do is stand together in your grief and hold each other and cry as much as you need to. With time, the memories of your dad will make you smile instead of cry. It's a tragedy that we have to lose people whom we love but we are lucky to have had them in our lives.
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