My brother passed away Aug 17,2018 and my Dad passed away Christmas Eve 2018

[Juju0408]

I had  a really hard 2018. My older brother passed away in Aug from a heartact. Then on a day that you should be happy i get a phone call to tell me that my dad passed away. It's so hard to to get up every day to do every day things. But I do. I have a family that needs me a daughter that depends on me. So I put on a fake smile and do what I have to. I know I have to be strong they would want me to. When my daughter who is ten wants to talk about them I do. At times it feels good to talk about them but then theirs time when it hurts. Eveything reminds me of them. I wish I could just see them again hug them tell them I love them. I have a great family a great husband who is helping me. But I feel so empty inside. 

[marbeth]

Two losses in one year--my heart aches for you.  I know exactly what you mean when you talk about that wish for one last hug, one last "I love you."  Sometimes I just say out loud, "I love you, Mom" to my mother who died in April of last year.  Not being religious, I don't think she can hear me, but it makes me feel a little better to tell the universe.  Your losses are still so fresh so don't expect to rally and recover any time soon.  You'd just be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.  From what others have said, healing will come, but it's a slow process and it takes time.  I'm still having waves of grief and I think I will for quite some time, but I believe they'll be fewer and further between as the weeks and months and years go by.  Already I'd have to say that I'm doing a little better than I was six months ago. 

Just know that everyone here knows the pain you're going through and it's a good place to come when you need some emotional support.  Knowing you're not the only one going through this helps.

[reader]

Dear Juju,

I'm so sorry for your losses. It is horribly raw to lose two beloved family members in one year. It is a lot for one person to cope with. What you are thinking and feeling is normal and natural. I know its hard. Please know you are not alone.  And if you want to, consider seeking out additional supports in the community or through church. Just know you can always come here and to talk it out.

Thinking of you.