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Looking Back, Going Forward


ModKatB

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Posted

In the beginning I was standing where some of you are now.

Dazed, confused, angry, hurt and feeling so alone.

But like others I have taken a few steps forward.

Never forgetting why I am on this journey.

Never forgetting I lost the one person that made my life complete.

Now I am trying to remember day after day the things my husband and I did together.

Going thru the memories of laughter, happiness and all the precious moments of our love.

I am going forward knowing that even though his physical being is not here, his spirit watches over me.

There are so many wonderful things to remember about him and about us together as a couple.

No amount of time will erase the fact that he is gone from my life.

But that also means no amount of time can erase our wonderful years together.

There really is no right or wrong way to handle this emotional battle we are fighting, just do what works for you.

I hope others can understand that I am what I like to call a "work in progress" and there is still lots to be done.

Somewhere in the future I know that I will have days that feel like it is Day 1 all over again.

For today though, I want to take a walk down memory lane and try to start this year with a smile or two to go with my bucket of tears.

I hope all of us can find a little bit of hope and a reason to smile in this New Year. KB

 

I wrote this as the sun came up this morning and I was thinking of having to start this new year without my love by my side. But then I thought about it and remembered that he is with me no matter where I am or what I am doing and nothing can take that away. 

 

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Posted

@KatB inspiring!  

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Moment2moment
Posted

Thank you for this post! It really sort of describes where I feel I am at here lately too. My Christmas especially felt like this. It is a nice resting place from all the pain, isn't it?

  • Moderators
Posted

Kat, your poems are always so touching...saved this in my file of your poems to share with my grief support group after our winter break.  Saved the link to give you credit!

Someday you should consider publishing a book of poems for the griever.  It would touch many hearts.

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Posted
5 hours ago, KayC said:

Kat, your poems are always so touching...saved this in my file of your poems to share with my grief support group after our winter break.  Saved the link to give you credit!

Someday you should consider publishing a book of poems for the griever.  It would touch many hearts.

Thank you. I just recently published a book with Amazon called Grief: one size does not fit all. I am going to update it soon and add a couple more items that I have written lately.

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Posted

Very nice post.  Thank you for sharing..

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Posted

Thanks for sharing. Makes me think maybe time does heal some of the pain.  

  • Moderators
Posted

I'll include the name of the book as the source...when get wifi again, I will certainly download your book from Amazon!

  • Members
Posted
On 1/1/2019 at 2:24 PM, KatB said:

No amount of time will erase the fact that he is gone from my life.

Exactly

  • Members
Posted

I was looking back at my post and even though I have been able to take a few steps forward things still sneak up on me. I had a bad day yesterday and I now just realized why. It was the date we found out my husband had cancer. I also have been sick for a couple weeks so that doesn't help either. As always I hope we all can find some peace and a reason to smile for a moment.

  • Moderators
Posted

I had noticed you gone for a while, I hope you're feeling better!

No wonder that date was hard for you, I'm glad you got through it, I'm glad to be done with dates for a while except for Valentine's is always hard.

I want you to know the ornament you posted a picture of before Christmas, even though I couldn't find any at HobblyLobby I was able to make some with my diecutter in the form of an angel with the same inscription, I gave one to each of my grief support group members and they were a hit, thank you, it was a great idea!  I did read about someone else being upset at getting a memorial ornament, and I thought, oh I hope I didn't upset someone by doing that!  But then they'd specifically requested to NOT have one and request was ignored, I did let the members know ahead of time so they could object if they wanted.  It's interesting how we all respond differently to grief!

 

  • Members
Posted
On ‎1‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 12:01 PM, KayC said:

I had noticed you gone for a while, I hope you're feeling better!

No wonder that date was hard for you, I'm glad you got through it, I'm glad to be done with dates for a while except for Valentine's is always hard.

I want you to know the ornament you posted a picture of before Christmas, even though I couldn't find any at HobblyLobby I was able to make some with my diecutter in the form of an angel with the same inscription, I gave one to each of my grief support group members and they were a hit, thank you, it was a great idea!  I did read about someone else being upset at getting a memorial ornament, and I thought, oh I hope I didn't upset someone by doing that!  But then they'd specifically requested to NOT have one and request was ignored, I did let the members know ahead of time so they could object if they wanted.  It's interesting how we all respond differently to grief!

 

It was nice of you to make the angels for your group, glad they liked them.

I still have a couple more dates to go that are going to be big ones for me. Next month on the 9th it will be one year since he died and then March 3rd was when we had his memorial service for the family and friends in Georgia.

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