My Heart Is Broken

[greg981]

Hi Laurie, Anna, Lela and Mary Jo....hope you are all doing well. Had a busy weekend and haven't been able to respond. Anna, the new link worked much better. I enjoyed looking at your art and I really liked the song that was playing. One of these days, Im going to build a site out there. Laurie, it was good talking to you on GROWW. I hope I see you there often.

I truly hope that you are all well and keep you in my thoughts and prayers every day. Anna, hope you mixed some spirituality in with that football ...lol.

Hope to hear from you all soon. Take care and hugs

Greg

[rodless]

Hi Greg,

Good to know you're ok. I had a rough morning. Had to get out the old red bandana and cry for awhile, but I'm doing fine now. Sunday mornings were one of our special times...breakfast out or coffee & muffins at home. Me & the crossword puzzle. (I still miss Rod's input on sports and music clues.) Today I walked the dog at the cemetery where she can run off leash and the whole thing just got to me. Oh, well...

I liked the Groww chat room I was in. It was the evening one for widowed and I signed in as Niki. You're right...it's just nice to talk to others who are on the same wavelength even if it's about baking bread. One of the guys that was on said there is going to be a weekend in the Black Hills in June for Groww chat participants.

Hope your Sunday and the week ahead goes well. Mary Jo

[greg981]

Mary Jo...good to hear from you. I'm sorry you had one of those days. I am glad though that you found GROWW and go there sometimes. I have never been in the spouse room yet. I usually go into the general room. My screen name is GregB. I will watch for Niki and maybe try that room some evening. Problem is...I fall asleep too early.

I had a pretty good day yesterday as I mentioned, but this morning was pretty rough. I go to breakfast with a few friends every Sunday morning and have been for many years. One of them is very sick with hepatitis c and his liver is shot. I feel really bad for him. They talked Drs and medicine and it got me down even more. I have had enough of that dialogue for a long time. After breakfast, I went to the cemetary. It was very cold and windy and I just pulled up to Miji's grave and sat there and cried and talked to her for about half hour. In fact, just typing this I started again. A cop finally pulled in and was driving around really slow so I left. I guess he though I was doing something. I came home and took a nap. I just miss her so much, it seems unbearable at times. Such a helpless feeling and no way around it. I'm going to force myself to go to dinner with some work friends tonight just to be gone....I was going to cancel, but changed my mind. I have to start being part of life at some point. If it's too painful, I can always leave early and come home. Hope tomorrow and this week is a little better for both of us. Talk to you soon MJ...hugs to you, Greg 

[armaiti]

Hi, everyone...Greg and Mary Jo, sorry you are having hard times.  It really does just come in waves, receding and washing back in...I don't think I'll ever stop feeling Ishaq's loss in my life, missing him every day.

I've had a busy weekend too...I"m still trying to decide if I'm going to tonight's class.  I'm pretty tired...I didn't sleep much the past two nights - especially Friday night when one of my cats started to throw up and I was chasing him out the cat door, trying not to wake up the friend sleeping in my living room, plus I stepped in cat vomit in bare feet, so I'm hopping through the house at 3 am whispering loudly "out out out!"  so he didn't do it again!  It was pretty funny really...but I didn't get back to sleep and we got up early both days for the workshop Khalil was leading. 

Last night I cooked dinner for them and and then we just sat and talked a lot, both about Ishaq and his girlfriend who died.  He's seeing someone new off and on and has been clear that anyone seeing him gets her as well, she's part of him forever.  They weren't together as long as Ishaq and I were, less than a year before she died, but she is still a part of his soul.  He wrote the most beautiful song for her he sang at Sufi camp last year.  It was good to talk to someone who knows exactly what I am talking about.  He also was one of Ishaq's best friends, so is happy to talk and tell stories about him.

I videotaped one of the dances today, and gave him the DVD of it.  I want to put it up on youtube, but he wants to see it first before he'll let me.  I'm playing drum on it as well.

Today the sun is out and it is beautiful.  I hope it keeps up tomorrow so I can get out and work more on the raspberry patches, cutting them pack and thinning them, and repotting some for friends. 

Blessings,

Anna

[greg981]

Anna, sounds like you did have a pretty busy weekend...I hope the cat is ok. Maybe a hairball? I hope the video gets the seal of approval. I would love to see it. Please send the link if it gets on You Tube. It's nice talking with friends about our loved ones. It really relieves some of the built up pressure. Seems that there are very few who are willing to do that at this early stage. I was invited to a dinner with some old work friends from my past job. We met and talked and remembered the good old days and it was very comforting. Im glad I went.

This was the first weekend I tried to keep really busy and it seemed to help a bit. I hope you have a peaceful and good week Anna.

Bless you

Greg 

[rodless]

Hello everyone...

Not sure what happened to me yesterday but today is better. Always miss Rod but that was a real bummer. Haven't cried that hard for a long time so guess I was due.

It always helps to keep busy, Greg, especially on days you know are bad. Sometimes you just have to force going out the door and it's usually ok once you do.

After my divorce I started bowling on Sunday nights because that was the worst for me. A friend called and said someone needed a partner for mised league. We bowled together for 2 years then Benny decided to get married and his wife wanted to bowl so he told me to find another guy and we could have our own team. So I asked a man I hardly knew if he wanted to bowl (on a street corner no less) and he said sure. Later he told me he never knew why he did because he had never bowled league in his life. And that's how Rod and I got started. Just like a fairy tale huh?

Hope all have a god week. At least Monday's over! Mary Jo

[travelinglaurie]

MaryJo, that was a beautiful story how you and Rod got started.  I had a bad day yesterday myself.  Nine weeks since Freddie stepped out of the house for the last time.  Today was better.  I miss him so much.  I have a lot on my plate and sometimes I feel like I am sinking.  So glad to hear your story though it brought a smile to my face.

Hugs to you,

Laurie

[greg981]

I love that story about how you and Rod met Mary Jo. It is like a fairy tale...it's beautiful. Sometimes I think back and see all the decisions we made in life and how things would have been so different or would have not been at all. I do believe in destiny.

If I had not met my wife in Korea back in 1970, I wouldn't be seeing these 2 beautiful grandsons I have now... I am very happy I made the choices I did...I just wish she was still here with me. I know we all feel the same way....so we deal with our destiny every day.

Take care MJ and keep in touch

Hugs and God Bless

Greg

[rodless]

Hi Greg,

It made me smile to tell that story. Hadn't thought about it in a long time. At that time I thought I was through with men....I just needed a bowling partner. My ex's name was Ron and one night I wrote Ron instead of Rod on the scoresheet and Rod got a little ticked. I think that's when I realized something was happening. (That makes me chuckle, too.) Eventually the memories that hurt so bad at first become a source of comfort and warmth as you remember little things that were so special between the two of you. It's very nice feeling. Hope your week is going good and remember winter can't last forever even though it seems like it right now.

Mary Jo

[rodless]

Hi Laurie, It did my heart good to tell that little story, kind of warmed it up a bit. I hope you're doing okay. Those first months are godawful and winter has to be the worst scenerio for it although no time is good. Little steps one at a time eventually add up to miles on the road but feet get bruised, battered and feel like they're going to fall off sometimes. (((( to you))))

Carla & Lela, how are you two doing? Getting through? Having a friend to talk to in person is the best help I had so I'm glad you have each other. Stay warm. MJ

[travelinglaurie]

Mary Jo

You are absolutely right steps on my path and boy do I feel bruised.  I am thankful to get messages from you and Greg.  They are pulling me through.  Good news is the benefit is set for Freddie Feb. 24th so that will take some weight off my shoulders.  I hope you have a great day and I will talk to you soon.  Hugs to you Mary Jo.

Laurie

[laquinn]

MaryJo thanks for asking. Somedays I feel that I am doing ok and then others I just can't stop crying and my grandsons don't help the matter sometimes (read bum it will explain) I so wish that winter would go away soon. I want to be able to open my front door and feel the sun on my face. Our power went out around 9:15 last night and came back on at 4 this morning and let me tell u it was starting to get pretty cold in here.

Again thanks for asking I need to get somethings done before I have to go to work hope you all have a good day and I will talk to you all later Lela

[armaiti]

Hi everyone, I've had a couple of busy days getting ready for a gathering at my house last night.  It was the Urs or anniversary of the passing of one of our Sufi teachers, and in Sufi tradition we gather and celebrate their lives on that day.  It was a nice gathering; one of our community was with this particular teacher in the 70's so he was able to share first hand stories, which is very special.  We watched a portion of the movie "Sunseed" which focused on this teacher, Samuel Lewis.  Only hard time I had was at the part where they show his memorial, the Sufi Choir is singing "Til We Meet Again Bodhisattva", which is the same song the men's choir sang for Ishaq at one of his celebrations of life.  That was kind of hard...the song is  beautiful though. 

Mary Jo, I loved hearing the story of how you and Rod met! Very sweet.  For those of you who are new, I told my story on the memorial website for Ishaq.  The link for that story is:

http://home.earthlink.net/~ishaqjud/id14.html

Laurie, glad you are having a benefit.  I learned to just say "thank you" to the help I was offered, and not try to do it all alone.  I asked for donations at Ishaq's Celebration of Life and people gave enough to pay for the rental and the big memorial ad I placed in the paper. 

Greg, Carla and Lela, hope you are all doing ok too!

Blessings,

Anna

[carlac]

Hello Everyone:  How are all of you doing?  Everything here in Illinois is going okay.

Last week one of my husbands best friends passed away. It was real hard going to his wake. Paul and Jim were big into ham radios and we figure that if there is a  way for them to construct a ham radio and talk to us here they would be the two that could do it.  My youngest grand daughter just climbed up on my lap and wants me to look up her high school musical songs so i guess i will talk to you all later..jenni is three and she says hi to everyone..now she is going to write to you.......

h888h mmmmmmm                             9rrrrh     nxfot hftrewq3\..........love jenni

[travelinglaurie]

Thank you Anna.  It will be held on Feb 24th.  People are offering help that I don't even know.  I am glad you are doing well.  And once again for your kind thoughts.

Laurie

[laquinn]

Laura we had a benifit back last April for my husband at that time we had no health insurance and I had no idea how we were gonna pay all the bills. And the commuity was so good with the donations we had the hall, food, stuff for the auction and the DJ service (who I now work for they open the bar and grill) all donated and it was a great turn out it did not pay all the bills but made a good dent in them. People here just are always willing to help out if someone needs it. I hope everything goes good for u.

Anna thanks for asking about me I am doing ok just got home from work last night was pretty cold here the power went out around 9 and did not come back on till 4 this morning, so needless to say it got cold in here but all is good now. Well I am off to bed have to be back at work at 10. So I will talk to you all later.

Lela

[greg981]

Hi All, sorry I haven't been hare for a day ot two. I had to get ready for a short trip out of town for work. I hope all of you are doing ok. Anna, checked out the link and that is really a nice site. A beautiful tribute to Ishaq.

Laurie, good luck with the benefit for Freddie. I think it will be very nice. If I was there, I would attend.

I have found that any little trigger sets me off. As I was driving to Michigan, I thought about how I would always call Mii and say"I'm here honey" She would always worry so I would call right away when I arrived somewhere. The same thing on the way home. I would call and say"Im on the way home honey" I was thinking about that coming and going yesterday and almost couldn't drive. I started crying so hard I couldnt see the road. I bet that people who saw me thought I was nuts, but I don't care. Then when I got home, I opened the door to an empty, dark house....started me again. Just went to sleep to forget the day.

I hope all of you have a peaceful week. It was good hearing from you... 

Hugs ((((((((Laurie, Anna, Mary Jo, Lela, Carla))))))) 

[travelinglaurie]

Greg. I was so worried about you.  I remember your trip but I had asked Rachel if she saw you at all and she said no. So see we have all been wifes.  On these trips you need to check in lol.  I was worried in case you had bad weather.  Come on now this is SC and we are having freezing rain.  talk to you later.

Hugs,

Laurie

[greg981]

You made me smile this morning Laurie.....Thank You. I will most definetely check in with you and Rachel next time. LOL...I don't have a blackberry so I will shoot you an email when I arrive and when I leave.

So glad to hear from you this morning Laurie and also glad you guys were thinking bout me.....Talk to you soon and big hugs (((((Laurie & Rachel)))))

Greg

[travelinglaurie]

What is a blackberry Greg.  Rough one today.  9 weeks since Freddie died.  Good news is grandson Landon is 3 weeks today.  Been up for hours.  Looked for you on Groww.  I will check back there then crawl in bed and watch the news.  No calls today for work.  Didn't think so half a day.  Got to do something only one day of work that won't even pay for gas.  Need a secretary Greg? lol  Wish you were close too so you could be here.  That day of the benefit will have mixed emotions.  Good as people tell stories of Freddie and bad because I miss him so.

Hugs to you Greg,

Laurie

[greg981]

Laurie, a blackberry is one of those little portable phones that also has e-mail so you can send and receive e-mails anywhere. Don't have one and don't want one...lol

I'm in the same time window for Miji too Laurie...I think it's going to be a tough road for both of us. I think our losses are only a few days apart and we are learning together.

I was up early and spent about 2 hours since 4am going through hospital, doctor, insurance statements, lab companies....yada yada yada...I got a headache. I don't think anyone can figure this stuff out without a lawyer....my solution, don't pay any of them and maybe they will go away. I did get them sorted and filed neatly in folders for each so I can find them if I need to. Now, I will wait for the next wave of crap to hit my mailbox.

Happy B-Day to the baby!!!

I hope you find something soon Laurie. The last thing you need now is to have your income fizzle out. But for now, hop back in bed, snuggle in a blanket and get some well deserved sleep. I'm gonna do some of this work crap that is due from this meeting yesterday then I'll be on GROWW after lunch. (after my nap...lol) I hope I see you there.

You're in my thoughts

Hugs, Greg

 

[rodless]

Greg, I've found driving distances to be one the hardest things...too much time to think. And I know what you mean about calling home. It's really devastating to know no one's there to answer. I've almost forgotten my own phone number. I'm glad you got there and back safely! Mary Jo

[greg981]

I'm glad it's not just me Mary Jo...it was very hard. Thought aboput so many things while driving and just made me so depressed. I tried staying overnight last time I had to go last month and it was even worse.

Hope you are  doing ok....thanks for writing. 

Hugs

Greg

[rodless]

Greg,

Yeah, checking into a motel by yourself is a REAL bummer. I remember the first time I did it....it was a two bandana night. I do ok with it now. Have somewhat dealt with the driving issue by using books on cd. I can think over music but I have to pay attention to a book. On top of it Rod always did the driving so I had to get used to doing long distance stuff again. It was the pits.

Sometime if you stay up later try the widowed Groww room. Tuesday night there were just 3 of us and it was really nice. Not so face paced and easier to get aquainted. MJ

[greg981]

Mary Jo, I know exactly what you are saying. Lonely place, strange surroundings and depressed already. Bad mixture. I like the book CD idea when driving. I'm gonna try it. I still haven't tried the widowed room. I was going to try last night, but never got around to it. I was in the general room and lots of conversation going on. Then I went to bed. Maybe tonight I will sneak on there.

Good hearing from you MJ....what screen name do you use on line? I want to look for you.

Take care and hugs

Greg

[rodless]

Hi Greg,

I was in both chat rooms last night for a time. I sign in as niki (my dog's name.) Won't be there tonight unless it's really late. Some friends are getting together to go out to eat and learn to play bunco. There are 8 of us all widowed or divorced except one... and we tease her all the time. They have saved my life by providing activities and understanding. I am lucky to have them. It's so good to laugh again.

This weekend looks like a stinker weather-wise. Supposed to have wind chills of -40 by Sunday.  Even the dog won't want ot go out except to do business.

Try the books as you drive. You can get them at a local library. We do a booming business here in checking them out, especially for truck drivers. A good thriller like James Patterson will keep your mind occupied. Don't get a romance or tear jerker!!

I will also watch for you in chat rooms. Maybe I'll try during the day on Saturday or Sunday. Someone in there last night mentioned another site for chat & message boards. I think it was called HOPE.

Mary Jo

[travelinglaurie]

Mary Jo, I didn't know you go to the General Room.  Greg told me you got to the widow one.  I must of seen you and didn't realize it was  you I am so sorry.  I will look for you next time.

Hugs,

Laurie

[travelinglaurie]

Greg, I am home for a while.  Friends and my son-in-law want me to go out for a while tonight.  Not really in the mood.  We will see.  What are your plans this weekend?  Hope all is well..... see you in the room later.

Hugs,

Laurie

[rodless]

Laurie, what's your "handle" ?? I'll watch for you. MJ

[greg981]

Laurie, you should get out and try to have some company tonight. Go for it. Remember you told me to go to that dinner Sunday? I did it and it turned out nice. I have absolutely nothing planned for the weekend. Going to be very cold and I'm probably going to stay in the warm house. I dread the weekends......maybe I will try to go somewhere just to kill time.

I'll look for you and niki in the room tonight or tomorrow. I think Mary Jo is going out tonight too.

Have a nice time ladies....try to smile a little bit. It feels good!!!

Hugs

Greg

[travelinglaurie]

Just me "Laurie" Mary Jo.

[armaiti]

Hi everyone...keeping busy is good, for sure.  I've had two Sufi gatherings at my house this week, and tonight a girlfriend and I are going out to the monthly belly dance guild show.  Several of my friends are dancing, so it should be fun.  It's a really nice group on folks, mostly women, though we occasionally have a male dancer.  (I have a friend, Alfredo, who does an Uzbeki sword dance, more like folk dance than belly dance, but balancing a sword on his head!)  Nothing planned for the weekend, and it's been soooo cold and foggy and nasty here I haven't even wanted to leave the house!  I want sun!

Hope everyone is doing ok today.

Blessings,

Anna

[greg981]

Anna.....I WANT SUN TOO.......can't stand this cold,blah winter. This has to be the worst one I have ever had with all that has happened in my life. I hope spring and summer bring some easier moments.

I watched belly dancing a couple of times and it looks really difficult to do. Do you dance also? I thought I saw that on one of the links but I may be mistaken.  Sounds like you had a busy week with all the gatherings. That's nice that you are able to keep yourself moving like that. I look forward to that day for myself too. Right now, have no ambition to do much of anything. I go through the motions, but it's not for real (if that makes sense) I am just doing things to let everyone know I'm trying. The smiles are not real yet.

I don't remember if I told all of you that I got a puppy to keep me company a while back. I found myself being stressed even more. I forgot how hard it was to raise a puppy, especially in the winter. I also felt so sorry for Arnie. He has so much energy and he just stayed next to me sleeping all the time. I made a very hard decision and called the lady I adopted him from. She said that he could go back to his foster home and she totally understood. She was so nice. I guess it's true...no big decisions for a while. I brought Arnie back and it was so hard. I really fell in love with him. I wanted to do what was best for him and me. It wasn't fair to him not to have the attention he needs.  So, another heartbreak. Anyway, he was adopted this week by a very nice lady that I actualy met and he's having a ball. I'm so happy for him. I will get another dog when I am ready, but not before then.

Hope all of my friends out there have a peaceful weekend...blessings to you, Anna, Mary Jo, Laurie, Lela, Carla....take care

Hugs, Greg

[armaiti]

Hi Greg...no, I don't belly dance, but I do folk dancing, middle eastern and eastern European are my favorites, and Greek.  Ishaq's sister is a great Greek folk dancer, she danced in Greece and picked up some great moves.  She would come folk dancing with me when they visited.  Ishaq didn't folk dance, or even dance too much...before I met him he had a diabetic foot ulcer and part of the bottom of his foot was cut off, so he had to be careful of it. 

Sorry you had to find another home for Arnie!  Dogs are a lot of work though.  I guess I'm lucky I'm a cat person, they come and go through the cat door, though taming Mckenzie was quite a labor intensive act, since she was a feral kitten dumped in our yard.  Now she hardly gets off my bed!  My old cat is getting difficult though,she's eighteen and a half and getting a bit senile and a bit blind. 

We're supposed to have a ten day stretch of freezing weather, rain, clouds.  Maybe a little snow, but I won't hold my breath.  Snow would make it nicer here, since it's a treat in Eugene, it hardly ever falls.  I sure miss having Ishaq here on these cold nasty days; we'd just curl up together and stay warm.  Of course, I miss him on the warm sunny days too!

Hope you have a peaceful rest of the weekend!

Blessings,

Anna

[rodless]

Hi everyone,

I'm waiting for snow. 4-6 inches predicted. If it has to snow wish it would be enough to keep me home from work tomorrow. I have stayed in my scottie flannel pjs all day. Just pull sweats and wind suit over them to walk the dog and go get a newspaper. If I get arrested for something, it will give the cops a good laugh. I read a spring Country magazine yesterday. Was in a little dream world with all the beautiful pics (tulips, baby calves etc.) and then looked out the window. Ick! Oh well, it will come and it is almost February. I think January is the worst.

Anna, my niece belly dances and has a blast with it. She's pregnant now and had to stop for awhile but I'm sure she'll be back at to get the baby weight off. She and her friends do it together. I just dance whenever possible to old rock and roll...my favs. Although I'm not quite to the point I can imagine dancing with anyone but Rod.

Greg, it was a good decision to find Arnie a new home no matter how hard it is. Maybe a little later an older adult dog would be better. They aren't quite the work. I think I told you about training Niki when Rod was so sick. Not one of my better memories. If you get a chance there's a guy named Woody on the widow groww chat that I think you might enjoy visiting with. He lives in Rapid City and is about our age.

Curl up with a good movie and take your mind off things. I saw PS I Love You last night. Made me both laugh and cry....about a young widow's first year. Was more sad than funny from my viewpoint but I suppose people who have not been through this would think differently.

Try to have a good day! Mary Jo

 

 

[travelinglaurie]

Hi Mary Jo,

No snow here but it is Freezing.  I moved south to get a way from cold.  Brave woman watching that movie.  I wanted to see it but haven't yet.  I don't blame you be comfy.  I need to throw on some clothes in case the kids come over.  Been bumming around in my nightie and robe.  How comfy!

Trying to stay busy.  Washing etc.  Chatting on here lol!  Hope you stay warm.  Your right I too can't imagine dancing with anyone other than Freddie.  Went out for a little while on friday with friends of mine and they are like vulchers.  I nicely said no thank you.  It was rough I don't think I was ready for that.  But sometimes you try to appease your friends because they are trying to help.

Take care, talk to you soon.

Laurie

[armaiti]

Mary Jo, at the belly dance show last night one group did this really amazing piece.  They introduced it as "Emergence of the Goddess" and they came out in earthy costumes with woman veiled in white in the middle.  When she dropped her veil and started to dance, she was hugely pregnant!  It was soooo beautiful seeing her dance (or course she modified some of the moves and did a lot of arm moves), she truly looked like a goddess. 

Still no snow here. Just been hanging and doing laundry...I have to put on freshly washed clothes before I go to the Sunday night Sufi class because the teacher's wife is very, very allergic to cats, and has a reaction if I come over with cat hair on me, and with three cats that's hard to get off my clothes!

Peace everyone,

Anna

[rodless]

Hey Lela, Carla, Laurie, Greg, Anna and anyone else..

How are you doing these days? This thread has sunk to the bottom of the list with no recent posts. I'm cold but surviving. I'm sick of the weather controlling eveything. And more snow tomorrow.... I'm cruising in neutral these days which isn't so bad. Better than reverse anyway. Thinking of you all....Mary Jo

[travelinglaurie]

Hey Mary Jo, I was thinking the same thing!  Sorry you have so much snow.  It get's tiresome I know.  Here it has been raining and very dreary.  Doesn't help with the emotions.  I have good and bad days.  Last night was bad.  Up and down all night long.  I do enjoy the posts here when there are some. 

Well great hearing from you and try to stay warm.

Hugs,

Laurie

[greg981]

Hi Mary Jo...good to hear from you. So glad you are crusing in neutral !! Its just been very busy at work, crappy weather and on and on. Sorry for the delay in posting. Had a rough couple of days, but I'm sure we all have. Hope everyone is doing ok. I did try the widow room at GROWW a couple of times and couldn't find you. Maybe we are just on different schedules. Hope I see you in there soon. Take caer and please keep in touch. I really enjoy hearing from you. 

 

Hugs

Greg

[rodless]

Hi Greg, I was in the room last night. Probably about 9:30 - 11:00 or so. That's usually when I'm there. Looked for both you and Laurie. Someday we'll connect. Rotten days are to be expected I guess. I sure woke up grumpy this morning. Snow, a sinus headache and a sick employee. It might as well be Monday. LOL. Have a good day. Mary Jo

[rodless]

Hi Greg, I was in the room last night. Probably about 9:30 - 11:00 or so. That's usually when I'm there. Looked for both you and Laurie. Someday we'll connect. Rotten days are to be expected I guess. I sure woke up grumpy this morning. Snow, a sinus headache and a sick employee. It might as well be Monday. LOL. Have a good day. Mary Jo

[travelinglaurie]

I look for you to Mary Jo.  I to having a rotten morning today.  Didn't sleep well.  Weird dreams.  Now over tired.  Working on Resumes.  Sorry to hear of your sinus headache and the snow.  I even had lots of that in my dreams.  Sure don't miss the snow.  I hope your day continues more on an up beat.  I will try to catch you later.  I only went in the widow chat room once.  As you know you catch me sometimes on general.  Well take care and I do so enjoy getting postings and know we are still on this one.

Take care,

Laurie

[carlac]

Hello everyone:

   Today was the first day this week that I was out and about. I having been having a real hard time. I have been trying to get  all of my paper work together for filing my income tax. This has been horrible because it means being i file long form i have to get out all Pauls paper work that he had the last 7 months of his life. The more i go over the papers the more i realize how much he went through and how much i miss him being here with me. I don't like being without him. I don't like being single again after 35 years. If it weren't for my family and friends i don't know what i would do.

The weather here has been gloomy and very cold and I am ready for summer. My cousin has a winter home inTarpon Springs Florida and she wants me to come visit her but I  haven't decided if I will go or not.

I hope you all have a good weekend and I will talk to you all again next week.......

Your Friend,

Carla

[travelinglaurie]

Carla,

I truly understand about taxes.  I have avoided it.  I might start on them this weekend.  I think maybe going to florida for a visit would do some good.  Maybe a little more sunshine.

I hope you have a nice weekend.  Again my thoughts are with you going through the same thing.

Laurie

[armaiti]

Greg, are you doing ok?  Haven't heard from you in a few days...

Blessiings,

Anna

[greg981]

Hi Anna...thanks for checking on me. I'm ok, I think. Had a hard week  but made it through. I made it through Saturday with the help of 2 really dear friends who kept me busy and laughing for over 9 hours. I truly love them. I haven't done that in ages.

Still sorting through my thoughts and it still seems everything is so messed up right now. This is what keeps me from sleeping almost every night. Just the uncertainty of whats ahead I guess. No feeling of security anymore.

Today, I am going to take my daughter and son along with 2 grandsons downtown to the museum. I haven't been there since my kids were young. I think it will be fun and also help me through Sunday. Like I mentioned...the weekends are the hardest. I have been trying to keep myself busy to keep from going crazy.

Hope all is well with you Anna.  You always seem to manage to keep busy and I think this is a good thing. I also want to take this opportunity to say hi to Laurie, Mary Jo, Lela and Carla....hope all of you are doing ok and maintaining. That's my new word....maintaining. Not good and not bad...just maintaining. Lets all try to keep in touch. Hugs and best wishes to all of you, my friends.....Greg

[travelinglaurie]

Well Greg, thank you for mentioning me in your Post.  I do so like your word maintaining.  I like that word.  That seems to be what we are doing.  I am so glad you are having family time with your son, daughter and two grandsons.  I am doing the same here today with the granbabies.  All though I would love to go to the museum, like I said the one here compared to the Albany has a lot to be desired.  Your doing great Greg, even on weekends, much better than before.  I have you in my thoughts.  Talk to you soon,

Hugs,

Laurie

[armaiti]

Hi everyone!  It's really snowing here, everything is all white and fluffy...it's a really rare treat here.  My youngest cat just sat outside and stared at the white stuff coming down...I'll probably venture out later and do some bird photography in the snow. 

Tomorrow is Ishaq's year and a half anniversary of his passing.  I can't believe it's been that long.  Maybe because I see him so often in dreams...it feels like this snow is a little present he is sending me...

I tried the GROWW chat room last night.  It was interesting...I'm not used to so much back and forth...it was nice to see you there, Mary Jo! 

Hope everyone has a peaceful day...

Blessings,

Anna

[qubert]

 Hi Anna,

The snow is beautiful. Here in Texas we had 70 + weather yesterday I worked in the yard with my sons all day and made the choice not to cry yesterday all that crying has me worn out!! A friend of ours came over a made us dinner we sat and talk about all the wonderful years we had with this bigger than life guy that I was so lucky to have for all those years. This morning I am bla I wish I could dream 30 days today I don't feel him around me like I did in the first few weeks that make everything so final. Has anyone ever contacted a medium. My son says that is a place that I should not go but for some reason I keeping thinking about it. If I could just know something about why he had to go before we could see our children get married have grandbabies sit in our rockers on the porch.. I miss his so.

Qubert