Angry at family for ignoring my loss

[Only.Child]

My father passed suddenly November 2, 2018. While our relationship was strained most of my life, he was my father nonetheless. My anger is toward my husband's entire family. Not one person contacted me, called, text, emailed, nothing. There was no service, only a cremation, as those were my father's wishes. So it wasn't like I was hoping for flowers or food or anything like that. I just wanted some form of support or care to be shown to me or my mother. 

I had always considered them my family as well. When you marry someone, they say you marry the whole family. Well, this has OPENED my eyes in a whole new way. Not only do I feel 100% NOT a part of his family, but the complete lack of care, concern, condolences or anything has shown me how little I am cared about. I am dealing with my own grief, but this is something that makes me so angry I can't move on. I have decided not to attend their holiday gatherings this year, as I normally do. Am I overreacting? 

[reader]

Dear Only Child,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am sorry for your loss. I know the pain and sorrow of losing your father is hard. It is only normal to expect and want the people in our lives to show us compassion and care during this sad and difficult time. Like you said a short text is not too much to ask for. I know how much it hurts.

I too was horribly angry with certain friends and family members. I too wanted to cut them off.

If you choose not to attend family gatherings this year I'm sure it will be understandable given that you are mourning. I'm not sure if your husband could share your pain and sorrow and let his family know how much you need their compassion during this difficult time. Maybe they just don't know for some reason.

Thinking of you.

[Only.Child]

Thank you. Yes, he too is as surprised as I am that they offered no contact. It would be different if I were merely a girlfriend, but I've been a part of this 'family' for nearly 10 years.

He's still going to attend family functions, which is totally fine with me. He had mentioned that if anyone asked about me, he was going to let them know how mad/sad I am that they didn't reach out to me. While I appreciate the offer, I feel that if they don't know any better, he shouldn't feel responsible to mend their ignorance when it comes to grief. 

I've always felt very out of place with them, like the black sheep. However, now after this, I definitely know I am not a part of this family. Not really. 

[Ashleys Mom]

My father passed suddenly November 2, 2018. While our relationship was strained most of my life, he was my father nonetheless. My anger is toward my husband's entire family. Not one person contacted me, called, text, emailed, nothing. There was no service, only a cremation, as those were my father's wishes. So it wasn't like I was hoping for flowers or food or anything like that. I just wanted some form of support or care to be shown to me or my mother. 
I had always considered them my family as well. When you marry someone, they say you marry the whole family. Well, this has OPENED my eyes in a whole new way. Not only do I feel 100% NOT a part of his family, but the complete lack of care, concern, condolences or anything has shown me how little I am cared about. I am dealing with my own grief, but this is something that makes me so angry I can't move on. I have decided not to attend their holiday gatherings this year, as I normally do. Am I overreacting? 

I’m so sorry that u had to go thru n yes in-laws are selfish I say there out laws n in laws that’s cruel n no ur not over reacting it’s anger u have feelings


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