I lost my Daddy this morning

[2Samuel2217]

Everything is crashing down so hard. Last month my Daddy who just turned 67 had his eyes fixed to see my sons, his grandsons better. Now passed away this morning after being in a medically induced coma for a week due to vomiting blood from a stomach cancer that was discovered 3 weeks ago. The doctors did an emergency gastromacy and he never woke up. He had his 1st round of chemo 2 weeks ago and pulled through. The last time we video called Daddy, was him telling us he was getting transferred out of the ICU to the ward. He was getting better.

 

Now I'm an absolute mess, desperately trying to hold onto anything that is Daddy's belongings, scared that my precious memories of him will fade. I'm forever grateful I got the chance to telling Daddy I love him during my last talk but there's so much more I wanted to say, to say how proud of him I am, how amazing of a father he is, how amazing he is and that I inspire to be the person he taught me to be.

 

My kids, his grandsons, are 3 and 4, and I know they don't understand that Papou isn't coming home for Christmas, because he promised to take them out for their 1st fishing trip (bought all the fishing rods to teach them). I've been crying non stop and as incredible kids are, the pain is powerfully strong and I'd do anything to have Daddy back in my arms again. There's so much left to say and I just want to hold Daddy one last time, for the longest time possible.

 

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

 

 

[reader]

Dear Samuel,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and sorrow is great.

I know how much we all want to go back and say more to our beloved parents. It is so hard.

Please know you are not alone and we here with you.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

[Gem 27]

Hello Samuel,

I'm so sorry.

I believe your Dad knows whats in your heart, and all of those things you wish you had said, are known to him.

I had the same regrets, my Dad knew I loved him, but I wish I had said so much more to him before he was gone. He went so suddenly, I felt like I was cheated out of those last words.

But I've spoken to him many times since, I believe he can hear me still, and he knows all that I wanted to say.

Again, I'm sorry, you're not alone.

[Nicole-my grief journey]

Dear Samuel,

My heart goes out to you. That is very painful. He sounds like he was a wonderful human being who taught you what was important in life. Family, memories and traditions that you will no doubt carry on. I know how it feels to want to say more to your loved one who passed. I have to tell you I feel he knew how much you loved him, how much you cared, how grateful you were to have him and everything he gave you. His spirit knows. I truly believe that. I do things to memoriaize my mom and brothers who passed. I just had a flower show dedicated to my mom (because she loved flowers and gardening). Every year I fish at my brothers favorite fishing spot. I talk to my nephews and niece about my mom and brothers and carry on traditions. It helps. Be gentle with your heart during this time. That is a life changing loss and you deserve time to grieve. We are here and listening. Sending prayers your way. 

[Anne B.]

I understand wanting to have him back and hug him for a long time.  It's exactly how I feel about my father.  He died earlier this year and I still miss him so much.  His face lit up every time we visited him.  I try to remember those times and it helps.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.