Lost dad 4 months ago

[MissingDadSoMuch]

I lost my dad the end of June.  I can’t get past the hopelessness I feel.  I hate the fact that I will never see him again.

 

When will I be able to think about him and not start crying.  I feel so bad for my mom because she has to deal with me and I can’t be strong for her.  I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

I had faith in my life but I don’t even have that anymore

[ladydweez]

 I have no advice.. I lost my Mom, my rock, 2 weeks ago today. I'm having a tough night here myself... The first day, It felt like I forgot how to breath.. and it just feels like that evey friggin day. I don't know how long it takes to 'soften' or if it ever really will. I am lost lost lost.. without her... So I sympathize. {{HUGZ}}

[Nicole-my grief journey]

Sending so much love to both of you. It’s a hurt unlike any other to lose a parent. I’m the same. Every day I seem to sleep more and more and cry a lot. I also try a lot. I try to get out of bed, shower and eat. I try to spend time with people, but that is hard because I feel others get worn out on my grief. I barely express to them how I really feel and feel like if I did tell them, they wouldn’t want to be around me. They just want me to feel better and because they haven’t gone through anything like this they don’t understand why I don’t. They still have their parents, they have husbands or children and things that keep them occupied. And then when I do actually make it outside to see them, they say things like “I don’t know how you’re out. I wouldn’t be able to function.” Or they say other ways of how they would be, but really they have no idea and it makes me want to retreat back into myself. 

[Meshele]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my father in September, it’s been so hard. I used to pray everyday and had faith but now i guess I’m being tested and I’m failing. I barely pray anymore, when i read things about God and all of that i feel annoyed. When before i would apply it to my life. I’m not mad at God, i guess i just can’t understand why he took my father when he knows how much i still need him. That i can’t continue be in this life without him, to never see him again  Im in my 40’s but i needed more time with him. They say God never gives you more than you can handle, but how can that be true? He should know how much im hurting im nothing but a shell of a person now, im not a mother to my kids or a daughter to my mom. I just go through the motions, im numb. I can’t be strong for her , she and my kids are strong for me. Some days i can look at his picture or hear an old voicemail and be ok, it almost comforts me. Then other days just the mention of his name takes me back to misery and i just want to die because i want to see him again, and hug him and kiss him, crack jokes and make sure he know how much i love him.  I’m sorry I don’t have any advice to offer, i just wanted to let you know I understand how you’re feeling and my heart goes out to you. 

[MissingDadSoMuch]

Thank you for your responses.  I wish I could say I was getting better but I just feel sad.   I’m not depressed or in trouble, just a kind of sadness that I won’t see him again.  I cry a lot.  My mind will just switch to a memory of him and I can’t help but cry because I wish he was here.  The holidays are coming and I know they will be difficult, not just for me but everyone.  I’ve been told a hundred times that the “first” of everything is the hardest. I can’t imagine the 2nd, 5th, or 10th will be any easier.  Maybe in time?  I wish you all peace and hope that in time, the memories will bring more happiness than sadness. ❤️