Girlfriend passed suddenly

[Spiffy123]

My girlfriend just passed away a few days ago im just torn up about it. Me and her met around april 2014 a few days before her birthday she was turning 23 i was 19 she was walking home late at night from a party i was just walking to clear my head when i saw her i thought she was the most beautiful person i had ever saw so i spoke we started talking right there on the street one thing led to another we wur huggy and kissing and soon enough she ask me if i wanted to head back to her house oh if i didnt mention she was trans and i had not been with a trans person before so she snuck me into her parents house and we did it after that i walked home we lived pretty close to each other we didnt talk for a week then we start talking on the phone and we regularly would meet for sex soon we became a couple and we started to spend lots of time together soon we started to go out on little dates and what not only thing was i was closeted about are relationship to people in my life but open to the ones in her life at points we would fight and argue because of guys from her past and cheating and stuff like dat but we worked threw it but one night me and her went the movies and we used to get hotel rooms because her parents didnt really care for me or are relationship but this night she was acting funny about saying nah u should save the money so i said ok but i had a strange feeling so when i was dropped of got on a bike and went by her house to cars pulled up as i waited on the side of a vacant house across the street her car and another car she went into the house and i saw threw her up stairs window she was fixing her hair i called her a bunch of times she didnt pick up so i walked to his car questioned him and then saw her long story short he drove off she denied that anything was going on her parents got involved in the fight she was put out of there house eventually we got an apartment together ther wer good times and bad more the cheating type thing happened but we wer friends we lived together for a year and a half before we got evicted back to are parents homes fast we wer in a really good place she was finish ing up school i was just starting school all of the cheating was done everything seemed ok we talked about getting another place together me and her parents wer on good terms its good me and her wer happy but then a week before i started college she had complained of stomach pains the next week she was in the hospital she didn't call me all day till that night she told me she was in the hospital i ask if she was ok she said not as ok as she thought she was and that her kidneys wer failing but to stay positive well she spent almost a month in the hospital and came out she had appointments and pills she needed to take but all seemed well about a month later she got a risen or boil under her arm on monday or tuesday Wednesday we talked on the phone for most of the day we wer both in school but didnt care she made it home and we talked more well after we got off the phone that night everything seemed ok just the risen was hurting but it was draining so the next day she didnt text me or call or respond to my text or calls i thought she might juz be busy well the next morning i called her phone her mom picked up and said they wer at the hospital and she wasnt doing to good so the next day i went to the hospital man my baby was doing well they had her in on diaylis and her heart was beating super fast i spent the whole night with her and she started to get a little better by morning she was talking a little even a little laugh so her mom came and i went to work well at about 7oclock i get a call from her dad saying she went home to the lord i was devastated she was my other half we had been together 4 year 7months but it felt like forever. I left work and went to see her i cried her family cried it was so hard it hurt so bad. Her kidneys fail and then they tried diaylis but then her heart stopped i miss her so much its only been a few days and im so hurt because she meant alot to me i miss her so much and i dnt kno if i can love again like dat 

[KayC]

You are both so young, that has to be hard.  You don't expect to lose someone so young in life.  We all have this in common though, we are missing the person we love and trying to continue our life when we're really at a loss how.  I hope you'll make an appointment with a grief counselor, it helps to have someone who knows grief guide us through this.

Meanwhile, it helps to express yourself and know you're heard and understood, as you've done here.  Just that we're all going through this together, it helps to know you're not alone in how you're feeling.  We learn to have them in our lives in a different way, that way might be unique to each of us how it looks.  I talk to my husband, he's been gone 13 years, he's still very much a part of me.