Lost Dad in Tragic Accident

[Goldy877]

I lost my father on August 18, 2018.  My mother and father have been divorced since I was a little kid, but everyone always got along.  I also have no siblings, and my father was single and 66 years old, I am 31. 

I got a call, that changed my life in an instant. My father lived in a town home, and he had accidentally left his car running, and the carbon monoxide infiltrated the home, and killed him.  His neighbors carbon monoxide detectors went off (since the town home shared a wall), and the rest is history.  

My dad and I were extremely close, as close as we could possibly be.  We traveled the world together, just the two of us.  He would visit me for lunch during the work week, at least once every week, we talked every day, and even had a trip for me, my husband and dad to travel to California down the coast together, it was planned, but we never made it due to this accident.  He was the coolest guy I knew, and as fit as could possibly be.  His death is still completely shocking two months later.  I still don't quite believe it. 

On top of this extraordinary loss, my mother is showing significant signs of dementia and is currently being tested/diagnosed by specialists.  

I'm tough, but my strength is being tested.  There is so much that runs through my mind, and everywhere I go, I've been and experienced it with my father, everything is a constant reminder.  He was the most important and special person in my life, and the thought of having to live potentially another lifetime without him is an impossible thought.  The sadness that he died alone and so tragically at a young age is so painful.

I've always believed in God and heaven (I'm not religious, but I have faith), but since his death I have never thought so much about the true concept of life and death, and if he somehow somewhere still exists (heaven).  It's a very difficult to accept when it comes down to it, because if you are alive, you just can't possibly know exactly what exists outside of our world.

The struggle right now is very real and deep. 

[reader]

Dear Goldy877,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved father.

Everything you are expressing is very natural and normal. Be kind and gentle with yourself. In the first few weeks and months, grief is very raw. We are flooded with questions and deep emotions. I don't think anything in the world makes sense anymore. I kept reading and reading and hoping that something would help. But in the end, it truly was the passage of time that helped lessen the intensity of the pain. I struggled to adapt but I kept taking baby steps and still there are rough days.

Please know you are not alone. And if you want to keep writing here and know that there are many resources through the church and community that can help during this sad time.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

[MollieMcDoodlesMom]

Dear Goldy877, I’m very sorry to learn about the tragic passing of your Father. I have been sharing some free reading material on how to cope with grief. It is the same information I share with the local funeral homes. If you wish to have a digital copy with no obligations, please contact me at : frances.koonce@yahoo.com I pray that you will accept this invitation and you gain a measure of peace today. With Deepest Sympathy, Frances