Members Magee Posted September 24, 2018 Members Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 I feel so incredibly alone. I am alone. In my 4th month without him. Our children have or will be leaving the nest this year too. Everything I’ve known and lived for is gone or leaving. Besides my baby boy who just turned one. Poor little guy born into such confusion. My life and family of 5 that I created with my husband is vanishing. I feel like I’m evil. That I am now in living hell and being taught a horrible lesson. Since he died no one even cares or notices that I died right along with him. The only person who was truly there for me..only person I mattered to is now gone. At 39? Sober then one relapse now gone forever. I have to stay here for another 40 years and think about the what if’s. I no longer have my best friend..even my father, mother and sister stopped communicating with me. I would never abandon my children especially at a time when they are dealing with such loss. Anyway Happy Anniversary Daniel 9/29/01 Im sorry I love you You were so right Please forgive me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Membership HPB Posted September 24, 2018 Membership Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 Dear Magee, two weeks ago I had my 9th wedding anniversary. Alone too. But I was talking to my wife on that day, and hope she heard my words. I think we are only separated in space, but for sure not separated in the heart. "The only person who was truly there for me..only person I mattered to is now gone." True also for me, and I'm living in hell like you, too. But we're not completely alone, the people in this forum are in the same shoes. Eventhough scattered around the globe, but we're very close, closer to eachother - in this hardest time in our life - than family members who often don't understand, don't feel. I share you pain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 24, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 Magee, Those special days are really hard without them here, it changes everything, doesn't it. There's some things inside of this that might be helpful, even though it doesn't specify wedding anniversaries, it does Valentine's, etc. and some of the rituals can work for Wedding Anniversaries as well...https://www.griefhealingblog.com/p/h.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKatB Posted September 24, 2018 Members Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 Magee, It is good that you have found this group. All of us are taking the same journey as you are and the only difference is where we are in that journey. I lost my husband 7 months ago and next month (October) we would have been celebrating our 22nd anniversary. I am not sure how I will make it thru the day but I know that I will survive. There have been so many here that have given me encouragement even when my family and friends turned away. So please come back and read our stories and add your own. You are not alone and there will always be someone here to listen. I hope you soon find something that brings you a little bit of peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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