My dad just passed away unexpectedly.

[rockyxo]

My dad just died 3 weeks ago unexpectedly from a heart condition. He was found lying outside in the middle of the night after coming home from work. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Knowing I was sleeping peacefully while my dad was dying breaks my heart. Why would God take him away like that? Why couldn't he at least make it to a hospital surrounded by people that love him? Why did he have to die alone? Why didn't I get to talk to him before? You know how in movies, they find a letter "if you're reading this it's because I've died"? I wish he could've gotten to leave a letter. I just want to hear from him. It's all unfair.

He was only 58, and I'm 24. He won't get to walk me down the aisle or witness me have kids of my own and become a grandpa. He'll never get to meet my future husband. He worked so hard and never got to see the fruits of his labor. He never got to travel the world or take vacations. I wanted to take him to an NBA game because loved basketball, but I never got the chance. I thought we had so much more time.

I'm a daddy's girl. I love my dad, and he loved me so much. I can't believe I'll never get to see or talk to him again. I keep telling myself he's in a better place, but it doesn't make me feel better. He wouldn't want me to be sad. He hated seeing me sad about anything, but I can't stop. How will I ever be happy again?

I know I'm rambling, but I guess I just needed to vent. I just want my daddy back.

 

[reader]

Dear rockyxo,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know we are here to listen and support each other.

It's know its horribly raw right now. Try and surround yourself with loving friend and family. And if you want to consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group in the community or through church.

Thinking of you. Sending my thought and prayers.

[st0rch]

I lost my dad last month in the same way... Sudden, unexpected heart failure.  He was carrying groceries that he bought for us up his apartment stairs to make us a dinner later that week. He was 54, I'm 27.  I know your pain. Wanting something, anything more. Wanting to spoil him and give him what he deserved.  

One thing, the only thing that helps me, is remembering who is suffering now. It's you, it's not him. Your dad is without pain, regardless of what you believe. If there is anything more noble or loving you could do for him, it's to embrace and take in every second of what you're enduring, he deserves it, and while he wouldn't want you to be sad, you need to be, and it's natural. Right now, your pain is equal to the love you feel for him, and there's a lot of it.

I can't tell you when it gets better, but this is life. And this is the biggest lesson our father's could teach us. Give it meaning, give it purpose. Let his love be never ending.

[A person in grief]

Hi.

I feel every word that you've written as if these were mine. My dad died a couple of days ago. It wasn't unexpected, and he wasn't young like your dad was, but the pain is all the same.

The thought of never seeing him again, it burns me from the inside, just like I'm sure it does to you. 

Please, do "ramble" on. Put your thoughts into words. It helps. Cry if you need to. I know I do all the time. 

To quote Joe Biden (who lost an infant daughter and a wife, and recently another son): "I promise you, there will come a day when the thought of <in our cases, our fathers> brings a smile to your face before it brings a tear to your eyes".

It's so hard to believe it now, but I know it will happen to you and me.

Stay strong.