on driving and why I won't

[superbcandyangel]

I'm 16.

 

As a result, people ask me when I'm going to drive

 

And they can't comprehend the answer,

 

I'm not.

 

They'll say, "I don't care if you don't want a car,

 

I'm teaching you to drive."

 

"I can find an empty parking lot for you to practice in."

 

"You should at least get your license."

 

Whet they don't seem to get is that with every question I clutch the seatbelt to my chest tighter and tighter for safety,

 

As though it could secure my racing mind,

 

My racing heart,

 

That I can only ever see her face,

 

Her face,

 

Her face,

 

Bloodied and broken despite having only seen her alive,

 

I never saw her smile again.

 

I'll never see her smile again.

 

I'm older now than she ever got to be.

[reader]

Dear Friend,

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know its very hard.

I know processing grief is a long road. I hope you will consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group in the community or through church.

Thinking of you. Sending my thoughts and prayers.