Too much loss

[Daddy’s girl]

I lost my sister to suicide then a year later my mum died suddenly. I was devastated.

My mum left everything to my stepfather who then phoned me and laughed down the phone ‘it was all his’. I was horrified and shocked at his behaviour . I lost him too...

Two years later my partner died leaving me and our child , alone and with his gambling debts. 

Now my father is dying. I don’t get to see him much because my stepmother makes excuses as to why I can’t visit. She complains of I phone because ‘she is tired of talking to people to tell them how he is’. When I do visit I never get a chance to speak to my dad on his own. 

My stepmother has already told me he isn’t leaving me anything. 

I feel so mixed up . I love my dad but can’t believe he would do that to us. I’m angry with him for dying . I don’t want to be left alone . 

Im angry he’s going hurt me by leaving all to his wife when he knows how hurt I was to get nothing ( not even my childhood photos) when my mum died.) I am still grieving for my sister and my mum and my partner ... too much emotion . I feel numb. 

i feel bad for thinking about this when he is still alive but I don’t know what to do with these feelings. Does he hate me ? Why would he want to hurt me ... does he not realise I am hurting at the thought of losing him? I am terrified of being left without him. Why would he disinherit me as well ? 

My sister killed herself and one thing she said in her letter was it was because our parents hasn’t wanted her ... is he trying to tell me this is true ?

i have a child. What do I say to him about why we were disinherited? Why would his grandfather do that him to us ?

he is so ill I don’t feel I can speak to him but I also know that if I don’t it will be too late when he is gone. 

But what should I say ...

p

[Neer]

Extremely Sad for you ....read your post completely . My Beautiful Mother went to heaven exactly 5 months before and every day from that day is a real torture . Now what to do..... 

[Daddy’s girl]

Sorry to hear of your loss Neer.

thank you for replying .

P

[reader]

Dear Daddy's girl,

I'm very sorry to hear about everything you have been through. It is a lot for one person to cope with.

If you can try and reach out to your dad. I know there is a lot hurt and pain. But it's worth trying. That is my main regret, failing to have an honest conversation with my father before his passing. I was always too afraid.

I probably wouldn't tell your child about the disinheritance. I don't know your child's age, but in this case, I would protect him and not go into too many details. The child is innocent.

If you want to maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group in the community. It helps to have more people to talk to and support you during this difficult time.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

[Daddy’s girl]

Thank you Reader. Sorry for your loss. 

Good advice.

I am afraid to speak with my dad. I don’t want to hurt him and yet I don’t want to be hurt more. I need to speak with him while I still can . 

I have no plans to tell my young child now but he will find out when he is older. 

Thank you .

P

 

[Yvonne Grace]

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my father in 2005. I loved him with every fiber of my being, but my mom was my rock. After losing her I found myself getting angry at her for leaving me. I’ve taken care of my mom since I was 14 and I’m 29 . It’s like I’m starting my life over trying to figure out what to do with my time.