Dad told 1-3 months, passed within 4 days

[JadeAlice]

My dad was diagnosed with lung and pancreatic cancer and told 1-3 months left to live. I booked a flight immediately to visit after the weekend and as my flight was boarding I got the call to say he had passed. I've been write in the middle of the last few weeks of university and everything has been so much. Now I've finally finished university and had a complete meltdown as I haven't had time to be sad and now there is so much in my mind. He won't be there for so many things, graduation was a big deal for me and him and I've bought him a seat and he won't be there. It's so difficult talking to people even though they say they are there for me they totally don't understand and I can feel that they feel awkward if I do say anything. If anyone else is the same please, I need someone to talk to who understands and I am happy to listen also.

[KatSushi]

Hi JadeAlice. 

So sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I lost my dad just over 3 weeks ago, his funeral was last Wednesday. 

My dad had prostate cancer, lung cancer and congestive heart failure. We were told that he had months left, that was 5 weeks ago and then the day before he passed we were told weeks, so we were trying to get him home because that was his wish. After being told weeks he died the next day from heart failure. 

We were utterly heartbroken. He was mine and my sisters sole parent. I lived with him, we we’re best friends. 

The feeling of loss and emptiness is indescribable. I’m finding it hard to cope. Sometimes it’s easier to open up to a total stranger than a member of your family so hopefully this forum will bring you some comfort. 

We would all love one more day or even an extra minute with our loved ones to tell them how much we love them but I’m sure your dad had so much love for you and was so proud of you and your upcoming graduation. Keep his memory alive and think of all the good times, you will have them forever! 

Keep strong! 

Kat x

 

[reader]

Dear JadeAlice,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know how much you wanted to be with your dad.

Please know you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. I think friends and family mean well but no one feels comfortable with grief. I never was until my own father passed. The doctor told us my father had heart failure but his passing was not imminent and he could live 6 months or longer. He passed 2 days later. It was a horrible shock. My baby sister did not make it home to see him. I really struggle to come to terms with this.

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. Please know we are here with you.

Thinking of you. With hugs.

[JadeAlice]

Hi both,

Thank you for responding and I am thinking if you both also. We also tried to get him back to the UK but just didn't make it in time, he would've flown that day I think. I've come to visit his place in Spain now for a few days and although difficult in the first day I am trying I turn it into a more positive experience.

Keep strong both of you!

[KatSushi]

I know it’s hard but you’ll get through. My Dad would’ve hated seeing me so upset and I’m sure your Dad would be the same. 

Picking up my Dad’s ashes tomorrow. He’s coming home, like he always wanted. 

Lots of hugs xxx

[reader]

Thank you JadeAlice.

Thinking of you during this difficult time.

Please know we are with you.