My dog died I can't get over it. I don't think I wanna live anymore

[Rachel Gill]

I said goodbye to my 14yr old Roxy, we spent 14 brilliant years together. We went everywhere together and she died yesterday. Well I can't eat sleep and my heart is in such pain. I wish I didn't feel this way. I need some help to make me feel better. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry, @Rachel Gill!  This is one of the hardest journeys I've had to be on, along with the death of my husband 17 years ago.  And it felt much as that did, although it didn't affect my finances and social life like that one did...the heartstrings were just as heavy.  Our dogs make us their study, they are "our person,j" so to speak, they are so loyal, so forgiving, so attentive...it stands to reason when they die, it leaves a gaping hole in our hearts.

I hope this brings you some comfort in the days ahead...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

[Rachel Gill]

I am in total grief from losing my 14 yr old dog. I cant eat or sleep my stomach is a knot. I cant bare the pain im suffering its making me ill. I just want it to go away. I cant bare it. I am going to my doctor to get medication to try and help me relax. My heart is truly broken.  

[KayC]

I am so sorry, Rachel.  I think the decision to go to the doctor is a good one...make sure to tell them the reason.  Let us know how it goes.  I'm already on anxiety and sleep Rxs but I'm sure they helped some, still, every waking moment felt heartbroken.  So much so that at two weeks I wanted to dig him up so I could kiss his sweet face.  My son said, "you DIDN'T, did you?!"  No, of course I didn't, I know better, but oh God, I wanted to! 

[Rachel Gill]

On 12/18/2020 at 7:27 PM, Deanne B said:

I feel similar in many ways. I want MY dog’s life back. He was so loyal and sweet.  He was 10 and had CHF and died in front of my kitchen stove on a carpet. He was playing with his toys just before his heart attack. His name was Wilson and I miss him running across the room out of nowhere jumping in my lap and licking my whole face to let me know he loved me. What a wonderful and cherished dog he was and he wanted to go everywhere with me. He was my service dog. He crossed the rainbow bridge November 21, 2020. I thought I was going to have a heart attack with him and I do have a heart condition. In ways, I wish we would have gone together. I miss him so much it does make my heart ache. 

I lost my dog on Tuesday 20th Oct she was 14 she had heart failure. I haven't been able to eat or sleep since she left me. We spent the best 14 yrs together she was my dog she came everywhere with me. My heart is broken, my stomach in knots I hate the way I feel. I don't have any regrets she died in my arms looking into my eyes...I am suffering now big time. A very devasted dog owner. 

[KayC]

Sept 20th?  I am so sorry it continues to hurt, I went through the same only  Arlie didn't die peacefully and that haunted me...their scale was off so they under-anesthetized him and he went out in severe pain...a vision I will never forget.  I know he's out of it now, thank God.

Wishing you some peace and comfort...

[AbbysGarcias2022]

I just lost my beautiful pug Abby I had to put her down it was the most traumatizing thing I have ever done seeing her die is the worst feeling I have ever experienced im so lost can’t seem to focus through the day I hear people say keep busy and work out but I just don’t give a f**k I don’t deserve to be happy at this moment I don’t deserve to be happy for a while she was the most amazing dog I just wish I could’ve done more for her and feel so guilty about it all I do is cry she deserved better I just want her to know I’m sorry for for everything I’ll never get another dog again I hope this pain goes away some day but for now I’ll be angry at the world and sad for my little girl god please help me 

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I feel the same, losing our "pets" is one of the hardest losses I've ever had to go through, they are so loving and loyal and we interact with them constantly, they're part of our everyday routine, it's not easy getting through this.
Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

 

[CharliesM0m2012]

On 9/21/2022 at 8:20 AM, Rachel Gill said:

I said goodbye to my 14yr old Roxy, we spent 14 brilliant years together. We went everywhere together and she died yesterday. Well I can't eat sleep and my heart is in such pain. I wish I didn't feel this way. I need some help to make me feel better. 

Earlier this year my little 9yo Patterdale girlie passed away after a battle with a blood cancer so I know how you’re feeling I was exactly the same, I could not face doing anything or functioning and I lost all sense and perception of time and usual activity because I just went to pieces.   Charlie was the life and soul and a very happy girl I am devastated at what happened to her + that she was ill and passed young.   What I have to remember is Charlie is over rainbow bridge and in a place where she hasn’t got cancer anymore she is well again where she is.   I’m so sorry for your loss 

[Daya]

On November 23 my 7 year old sweet baby boy Rocky passed away.He was a pit bull/Dalmatian mix he was a cutie and such a sweetheart . He was diagnosed with lymphoma just a month or two before.We took him to see some doctors who told us it would be hard but most dogs  react good to chemo so we decided to go along with it and try everything  we can to make sure he gets better.He was doing chemo every week and I along with my aunt would drive about and hour or two to his chemo sessions.he did chemo for about 4 weeks and on our last visit they told us he wasn’t reacting good to it even though the first two times weeks he seemed to get better but after those weeks he got very skinny and wouldn’t eat which was unusual for him since he loved all types of food.He would also barely get up which again was not at all like him because he was a very goofy and playful dog, he would run laps in our yard and we would call him our horse because he ran just like one. After the doctors told us he was not getting better they told us we should do steroids just so he feels comfortable on his final days which we did and he seemed in even more pain which broke my heart. Sadly he passed and I keep thinking to myself if I could’ve done something to save him. It hasn’t even been a week and I feel like although my family is sad they are not showing it as much as I am. I do know that everyone griefs differently but I’m a mess I cry everyday and I can’t sleep and I think of all the times I yelled at him for doing something he wasn’t supposed to do and I feel horrible like I can’t explain the pain and regret I feel. He’s got cremated and I have him in his own little cabinet and Christmas is coming around so I put a mini tree and angel and snowman by him and everyday I walk past his ashes i feel a indescribable pain. I feel like I gave up on him. I feel that I should’ve fought harder for him. I don’t know why I keep getting worse everyday. I miss his so much. I want him to step on me one last time I want him to drool all over the floor again I just want to see him and touch him but none of those will ever happen. I’ve seen so many arrivals saying dogs don’t go to heaven and I’ve been extremely upset cause the only thing that’s is getting me by is thinking that when I pass which I hope is not for very long that I will get to see my baby in heaven and I am so confused I want to know he is ok and happy . I feel that as I am writing this I keep spiraling deeper into my sadness. I have another dog and two cats. My other dog is 15 years old and at first didn’t really like Rocky but over time they became a duo. I don’t know if he knows Rocky had passed but he did see him pass I just don’t know if he understands he will never see him again. Since my dog is really old he can’t or hear very well and Rocky was his helper with that. When someone would knock on the door Rocky would barked and get up letting my older dog know just like when it was time to eat and go outside and know I see my dog not getting up when someone knocks. Rocky was a big dog and most of the times both dogs would share a bed and my older dog is smaller so he would curl up in a little ball in the edge so he could give some space for Rocky and know that Rocky is gone he still sleeps on the corner. What I keep replaying in my head is when they took Rocky to get cremated and my other dog was sniffing and looking everywhere as if he was trying to look for him. I wrote a lot but I feel like I need to get this off my chest even though I know my sadness won’t go away. I love Rocky so much and hope to see him one day until then I’ll have to live without him 

[KayC]

Write as much as you want, that's what this place is for.  Your story reminds me of my Arlie (a gentle giant, up to 140 in his life, put him on a diet, he lost to 110 and stayed there until his cancer.  I remember them telling me when he stopped eating, he'd be at the end, so I kept plying him with food, he gained 7 pounds in two months ten days!  It cost him though, they botched his euthanasia, their scale was off over ten lbs and they under-anesthetized him.  They had no treatment for him, yet he'd had a physical just two weeks prior to his diagnosis and he passed with flying colors!  How can that be!  Never went to his vet again, opting instead to drive out of town.|
Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers
I believe our dogs will be in heaven when our time comes and we will be together again.

 

I feel as you do, I miss my Arlie, he is buried in our back yard.  My sweet baby.  Here is our journey with his cancer if you are interested:

 

 

[Kema]

I lost my dog Lucky 2 days ago. She was half doberman half German shepherd. Been with her since I was 7 till right now when I’m 18. I’ve watched her grow as I grew together with her. From a time I used to break up her food till she became an adult. Watched her age and become less mobile and less active. I wish I had done more to ease her last years when she suffered from arthritis. Wish I’d spent more time with her. Wish I had time to say goodbye. Wish I had taken more pictures of her. She still looked so pretty when I found her in the morning after she had passed. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over this. She was such a big part of my life. I still remember playing football with her. Watching her chase squirrels and birds. 

[Rachel Gill]

Hi Kema, God my heart actually breaks for you.My children were 10, 8, 6 when we got our  dog Roxy she lasted 14 yrs to the day. She was a westie she was 14 and not a day sick in her life. She was my companion. She was with me 24/7 everyday. Well when I say I felt like my heart was pulled out of me, when she passed is an understatement. Don't beat yourself up you are young and have a busy life at school, friends etc your dog knew how much you loved him. He knew it in his heart and so did you. Dogs feel love and you gave him that love. It's a horrible feeling when you lose a dog but he's at rainbow bridge running with all our beautiful dogs we,ve lost. Don't feel bad he loved you and he knows you loved him. 

[Daya]

On 12/1/2022 at 5:53 AM, KayC said:

Write as much as you want, that's what this place is for.  Your story reminds me of my Arlie (a gentle giant, up to 140 in his life, put him on a diet, he lost to 110 and stayed there until his cancer.  I remember them telling me when he stopped eating, he'd be at the end, so I kept plying him with food, he gained 7 pounds in two months ten days!  It cost him though, they botched his euthanasia, their scale was off over ten lbs and they under-anesthetized him.  They had no treatment for him, yet he'd had a physical just two weeks prior to his diagnosis and he passed with flying colors!  How can that be!  Never went to his vet again, opting instead to drive out of town.|
Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers
I believe our dogs will be in heaven when our time comes and we will be together again.

 

I feel as you do, I miss my Arlie, he is buried in our back yard.  My sweet baby.  Here is our journey with his cancer if you are interested:

 

 

I’ve been thinking so much about how you lost your husband and your Arlie. I’m so sorry I keep thinking about how strong you. This past week has been hard, I try to distract myself and since I work and go to school I thought it would help not that about my Rocky so much. But there are points where I doze off and all I can think about is him. When I come home I greet all my animals and although I know he passed something in me denies it and i make up a scenario where he is just gone for a while but he’ll come back which i know will never happen. I’ve been crying every single day. I wrote in my previous post about how my family is sad but not as much as I am since I would take him to his chemo and got the news of his treatment not working first. Well today I was eating when I suddenly started thinking of Rocky and I felt like crying and my mom told me to stop crying since she did not want to be sad and now I’m wondering if something is wrong with me. I feel like a part of me is missing. We got his paw print in a piece of clay and I’ve been looking at ways to preserve it I sod made three other paw prints and I’m stressing out trying to find a way to keep them safe and I was explaining to my sister about a frame that could keep it safe.she noticed I was freaking out about it and said that I should see a therapist because I shouldn’t be worrying that much over his paw print. I feel like if the paw print ever breaks I will have a meltdown. Everyday I look at the paw print I touch it and it bring me comfort knowing I have something of his I can still touch. I just wanted to reply to you and tell you how much I admire you for being so strong! 

[KayC]

17 hours ago, Kema said:

I lost my dog Lucky 2 days ago.

I grew up with Huck...I got him when I was five, my parents wouldn't let me take him when I left home...one day when I was 20 and he 15, my mom called and said they had him put to sleep.  He didn't have anything wrong other than old age, he was a lab and grew up on table scraps, my parents never bought dogfood, depression era parents.  I never got to say goodbye or see him that one last time.  It's stayed with me always.  He was a sweet dog in a crazy household (mom mentally ill, dad alcoholic).  They know how much we love them.  Huck was like the stable one in the family...a long story, but he'll always mean the world to me.  And not just because he let me dress him in doll clothes.

I am so sorry your dog passed...it reminded me of Huck, my heart goes out to you.  It sounds like she lived about the same amount of years as my Arlie did.  I'd hoped for 14, he lived to 11 1/2.  Cancer.  

I am sorry you didn't get to see this coming, say your goodbyes.  That is really hard.  But as Rachel said, she is at the Rainbow Bridge and you'll be with her again...it's a lifetime to us, but a moment to her, where time is no more.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

[KayC]

7 hours ago, Daya said:

although I know he passed something in me denies it and i make up a scenario where he is just gone for a while but he’ll come back

I did this when my husband died (to some extent, I knew inside it wasn't true though)...pretended he was on a trip.  It's our body's way of putting off what we can't deal with, it seeps in gradually.

 

7 hours ago, Daya said:

ow I’m wondering if something is wrong with me.

No, I have to wonder about your mom, perhaps she's not as close to Rocky as you?  I know everyone grieves differently but he just died!!!  I'm sorry she isn't understanding about grief.  Perhaps do your grieving elsewhere, I know it's tough when you can't be in the open where you live.  Maybe go for walks where you can cry in peace.  My daughter and sister were there for me when my husband died, my son came and drove us to the vet out of town when we had Arlie put to sleep, then I followed him to his house, 2 1/2 hours away, it was hard to see to drive.  I came home a couple days later, I wasn't much good company at that time.  Coming home to an empty house was tough.  

I tried getting a paw print of Arlie just before he died and it's a funny story, one of my memories 

You are not crazy!  Rather your household has a lack of understanding about grief.  It IS "normal" to mourn our beloved animal when they die!  I still have an area where I have the cards I got when Arlie died, his "Memories" printed out, his lock of fur, and I also have his "pawprint in motion" up on my refrigerator.  Take all the time you need with this....it's been over 3 1/2 years for me. 

[KyHellsbelles]

My sweet girl had to say goodbye to us today. She suddenly got sick yesterday, but quickly recovered from the episode. After examining her, our vet wasn't overly concerned, she was just 5, never any health concerns before, but cautioned me to keep her close, monitor her and bring her back in if things didn't improve. She was sick overnight and suddenly got much worse this morning. We rushed her to the vet and one look at his face as I told him what was going on told me all I needed to know. He did x-rays. There was large mass in her abdomen, with metastases in her brain. After seeing those x-rays I knew that some hard decisions were coming at us fast. Our vet discussed treatment options, likely outcomes, how difficult it would be on Alice. We all agreed that we might put off the inevitable by a week or even two but that Alice would get much sicker and would suffer. We could not bear the thought that she would suffer. We made the decision to let her go. We were with her as she passed. We brought her home and laid her to rest beside her brother. We just lost her brother 14 months ago. I was just now coming to grips with his being gone. We've worked hard to cope with the loss of Phil, but I am scared that this will be the end of me. I physically feel pain, as if my heart is truly broken in two and I feel so adrift. It's just barely been 12 hours and I know her loss is still so fresh, but I want to go lay down on their graves and sink into the ground to be with them. They were my and my Mom's dogs. Mom has grieved Phil just as I have. We have been each other's strength through this, but this feels different. I feel broken, as does she. We both have such guilt: we should have known, we should have seen the signs, etc. Alice's vet assured us that there were likely no signs that we missed and that there was no way we could have known. She was the same sweet, wonderful girl right up to the moment she became so ill. I pray that he was telling the truth. I'm so wracked with grief that I feel like he lied to make us feel better. I just don't know which way is up. I happened upon this forum and needed to share what has happened today. Share with others who have experienced the same loss and understand the crippling grief we are feeling. I don't know how we are going to go on. This feels very different from when Phil passed. Of course, we had Alice to care for but now we have an empty house, for the first time in my life, we have no pets, no babies to shower with love. I'm not sure I am going to make it through this. She was my constant companion. I work from home so we were together all day every day. She hogged the bed something awful. She was a noisy eater and a super loud snorer. I've wanted to crawl into bed all day but I cannot bring myself to enter my bedroom. She was also Mom's lovely girl. My Mom is elderly and I'm so worried about the effect Alice's loss is going to have on her.  We are completely lost without her and I cannot see ever being whole again. I apologize for the lengthy post. I needed so much to share with others who understand the pain we are feeling. Thank you for allowing me to share here.

[foreverhis]

15 hours ago, KyHellsbelles said:

We could not bear the thought that she would suffer. We made the decision to let her go. We were with her as she passed.

I am so sorry you have a reason to be here with us.  Perhaps the reason losing Alice feels different is because it was so fast and shocking.  Part could be because you lost Phil not long ago and this is a compounding grief.  Part could be because you worry about your mom.  And part could be because Alice was just one of the special companion animals that take a bigger piece of our hearts with them.  Likely it's some of "all of the above."

About what I quoted above.  It is my firm belief, a faith that nothing can shake, that making the decision to lift our most beloved pets up out of their pain and suffering is one of the greatest acts of love possible.  Being there with her, surrounding her with your love as she left for the Rainbow Bridge, isn't just "something," it's everything.  It really is.  She knew nothing but love and care right up until her very last breath.  You did what was right for her, even knowing that your heart was breaking and your life would be shattered.

About your worry that you should have known or seen something.  I'm going to share a story that isn't technically mine to share, but I think my sister and BIL wouldn't mind.  Going on 2 years ago now, they arrived at my home for one of their several day visits.  They live about 4 hours away and always bring their lovely dog, a rescued McNab mix.  He had been his usual happy, lively self all the way until about 20-30 minutes before they got here.  When he started whining and fussing a little, they thought it was because they were on a winding road he doesn't love and because he knew he was almost at his Aunt Annie's house. 

When they got here, he had trouble standing and seemed weak.  At first, my sister and BIL thought maybe he strained his back.  He slowly walked into the house, went to the kitchen, and lay down on his side barely moving.  My sister got him water, which he slurped down.  I contacted our vet, but it was the end of the day and they couldn't see him.  My BIL got on the phone with a local animal emergency hospital while my sister stayed by his side.  (Interesting note:  We thought and the vets confirmed that their smart boy was scarfing down water because his body told him he needed fluids.)  My BIL gently carried him to the car and drove him to the hospital.

The hospital had a stretcher waiting.  It was towards the beginning of COVID, so my BIL had to stay at the car.  The vet and vet surgeon did blood tests and took films.  Within 20 minutes, we learned that their dog had a huge tumor on his spleen that had burst during the drive and was causing severe internal bleeding.  They're not rich, but they are comfortable, and he was mature, but not "old," so they took their travel fund to pay for emergency surgery.  He came home to my house 2-1/2 days later and spent the first few recovery days here.  (And thank God the biopsy results came back benign when it was a 70% chance of cancer.)  He was one of the few lucky ones and we are thankful for that every day.

My sister and BIL talked to the vets several times.  One of the things they kept going over and over in their minds and conversations was, "Why didn't we know?  How could we not know?  He almost died because of us."  The vets gently reassured them multiple times that there was no way they could have known.  That often with tumors/cancer, the first sign is when an animal collapses.  We did a little online research to ease their minds and found out that it's true, especially with abdominal/organ tumors.  Animals very often don't show any signs at all until it's critical.

I don't know if that story helps you, but I hope it does.  You had no signs, no warnings.  You couldn't have known.  Your vet is not lying to you to make you feel better.  I know nothing can make you feel better during these early days of raw, overwhelming grief, but perhaps understanding that you did nothing wrong can help ease the guilt you feel.  Almost all of us feel it because our hearts are searching for a different outcome and we're the ones left here.  We look in the mirror and say, "You're to blame," because we feel the weight of that responsibility.  But as our wise member KayC sometimes reminds us, feelings are not facts and feeling guilty doesn't mean we are.  You are guilty of nothing more than loving Alice with all your heart.

Please keep coming here to talk, to read, or just to rant if that helps.  We understand.  You are not alone.

[KayC]

9 hours ago, KyHellsbelles said:

We made the decision to let her go.

You made the selfless decision to let her go for HER comfort, not your own, the kind decision a caring parent would do.  That hurts, you are now taking on her suffering!  Bless you.  I am so sorry for your pain.

4 hours ago, foreverhis said:

feelings are not facts and feeling guilty doesn't mean we are

That is for sure.

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died 17 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[KyHellsbelles]

Dear foreverhis,

Thank you for your kind and wise words. Thank you for sharing KayC's wisdom that, "Feelings are not facts and that  feeling guilty doesn't mean we are."

Your entire post and sharing the story of your sister's & brother-in-law's experience was helpful. You hit the bullseye in saying that Alice's passing was so fast & shocking that it was beyond comprehension for us. It is still soaking in and still feels like a nightmare. 

We will find our way through this but right now it feels as if we will never find happiness and joy again. Thank you once more for your reply, the comforting words and assuring me that I am not alone. Even though Mom and I are united in this grief, it is a comfort that others understand what we are experiencing. I will continue to come here to share, to begin to heal and read the stories of those who find their way here, as I did. 

Thank you once again.

( Sorry for the awkward way I replied to your post. I could not figure out how to post a direct reply.)

 

[KyHellsbelles]

Dear KayC,

Thank you for your reply and for your wise words that, "Feelings are not facts and feeling guilty doesn't mean we are." Those words strike right to the center of what we are feeling & thinking. It helps immensely to know that others understand our grief and how hard it is to cope with the loss of Alice. 

Thank you again for your post.

(Sorry for the awkward way I replied to your post. I could not figure out how to post a direct reply.)

[Daya]

On 12/4/2022 at 6:53 AM, KayC said:

I did this when my husband died (to some extent, I knew inside it wasn't true though)...pretended he was on a trip.  It's our body's way of putting off what we can't deal with, it seeps in gradually.

 

No, I have to wonder about your mom, perhaps she's not as close to Rocky as you?  I know everyone grieves differently but he just died!!!  I'm sorry she isn't understanding about grief.  Perhaps do your grieving elsewhere, I know it's tough when you can't be in the open where you live.  Maybe go for walks where you can cry in peace.  My daughter and sister were there for me when my husband died, my son came and drove us to the vet out of town when we had Arlie put to sleep, then I followed him to his house, 2 1/2 hours away, it was hard to see to drive.  I came home a couple days later, I wasn't much good company at that time.  Coming home to an empty house was tough.  

I tried getting a paw print of Arlie just before he died and it's a funny story, one of my memories 

You are not crazy!  Rather your household has a lack of understanding about grief.  It IS "normal" to mourn our beloved animal when they die!  I still have an area where I have the cards I got when Arlie died, his "Memories" printed out, his lock of fur, and I also have his "pawprint in motion" up on my refrigerator.  Take all the time you need with this....it's been over 3 1/2 years for me. 

I greatly appreciate your responds I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to get back to you sooner. I’ve been very busy with school and work and Christmas shopping.Tomorrow is the 24 of December and this year I don’t even feel like leaving my house to celebrate the holidays.Sometimes I feel guilt for being happy because I just remember how sick and tired my baby boy was on his last days.I have these neighborhood stray cats that’s I build a little house for and feed them everyday because the weather is getting very cold here where I live. I am a huge animal lover and it makes me very upset to see animals suffer.So when I found out Rocky had cancer it really took a toll on me.I know I shouldn’t be saying this but sometimes I feel this raging anger towards god. I don’t understand how he could’ve taken such a loved and cared for animal away in such horrible circumstances. My birthday is one the 30 I’m going to turn 18 and everyone is telling be it’s going to be a big day but I don’t feel it there is only one thing I want that I know I won’t ever get and that is having my sweet baby boy in my arms.A couple days ago my older sister got a pendant that she could put some of rockys ashes in. It was about less then a grain of salt so she open his box and their it was his ashes and I broke down. It was all rushing to me, this is not a dream he will never come back.I sometimes sit and talk to his ashes. Something that breaks my heart is that I keep replaying the times I took him to his treatment appointments and how he would be so scared to go to the back room.So after he passed I’ve been feeling so confused I just want to know he’s happy. 

[KyHellsbelles]

I am awake, unable to sleep tonight. The grief is still so overwhelming that I feel it will suffocate me. We've had a more difficult day than we should have had due to the dangerous weather preventing us from even getting out of the house to walk to Alice's & Phil's graves and walking to the pond to appreciate the beauty of nature and remember all the wonderful times we walked there with Alice & Phil running ahead of us. I feel as if I will never enjoy Christmas again. It's already been dimmed by my Granny's death 23 years ago, so close to Christmas that we will always associate it with Granny's passing. It's been difficult to truly continue to celebrate for both my Mom & me ever since. Alice's passing has made me wish that Christmas and New Year's would be well behind us. We have thrown away the holiday cards we have received because all of our friends are also dog people & include their fur babies in their Christmas photos. We have taken most of our Christmas decorations down and put them away. When  we see dogs on the tv I immediately turn the channel. It is too painful to see these beautiful, happy good boys & girls playing with & loving their humans. I don't resent them but the sorrow I feel seeing them is too much. I feel foolish for this but it immediately makes me sob. We have given the new bag of food that we would have probably opened some time this weekend. Every time I saw it when I entered the kitchen it hit me in my stomach why I will never open it. My friend was grateful but sad about the reason that she would have a chance to see if Amos would like a change. I have cleaned her food dish one last time and hung it on the wall, next to Phil's dish, with both of their collars. It's our shrine in a sense. It reminds us that we will never forget them, that they will live on forever in our hearts. I have even hidden my car in the barn so that if anyone decides to visit and look in the garage they will not see my car and assume we are not home. We can keep this up as long as we wish since I don't have to leave the house to work, but I do realize this is unsustainable & that isolating ourselves so completely cannot go on forever & will not help us heal but sustain our grief in an almost dangerous way. I simply don't care. I have lost all desire to watch tv, one of my most favorite pastimes. I have not picked up my book to even read one sentence. It just doesn't appeal to me, at least for the present time. As I write this I feel so terribly foolish, but at the same time I simply don't care. I am looking forward to the anger phase of our grieving. I can feel the rage building up & I need to express just how mad I am at God, the universe or whoever/whatever is responsible of robbing us of our beloved Alice. I think foreverhis was absolutely correct in saying that we are still raw from Phil's passing and the loss of Alice has compounded that grief in an unbearable way. I am grateful I found this place to share our story with the knowledge that I am writing my thoughts and feelings in a place that others will understand our pain and also have the knowledge that we will get through this, even though it feels as if this pain will never cease. I do want to wish all those who celebrate Christmas or other holidays a wonderful time with family &  friends. Hug them closer. Tell them how much you love them, however many times you want to do so. Hug your fur babies close and whisper your love to them. I know whoever reads this already does that but i hope to remind them to hold that hug just a moment longer. I am so grateful to have somewhere to share my grief. I hope that soon I will be on the path to healing and my posts will not be so raw. I hope everyone has/has had a peaceful night of restful sleep.

[foreverhis]

32 minutes ago, KyHellsbelles said:

It is too painful to see these beautiful, happy good boys & girls playing with & loving their humans. I don't resent them but the sorrow I feel seeing them is too much. I feel foolish for this but it immediately makes me sob.

It's not foolish at all.  Why wouldn't it upset you and make you sob, especially now when your grief and loss are so new, so raw, and so heavy?

Most of us have done things like change the channel, look away or avoid specific places, and give/put away reminders.  It's so common that I would be surprised if you felt or acted otherwise.

After my husband John died, I couldn't bear to see happy couples, especially ones clearly older than we were (he was 71; I was 60).  "I can't stand it!  It's not fair.  We're supposed to have that too!" and so on.  And like you, it wasn't that I didn't want other couples to have that, it was that I wanted it too.

All you can do right now is keep breathing and take one day, one hour, at a time.  It's a cliche because it's true.  That's the only way to get to a place where you can take small steps forward. 

One other thing for now.  I urge you not to expect or follow the notion of the "stages of grief."  The 5 Stages book was actually a study of how terminal patients reacted after being given their diagnoses, not for those left behind grieving.  I believe they did a follow up with more identified "stages" in relationship to grief.  But here's the thing:  This journey is not a straight line from "start" to "finish."  There are numerous stages of grieving, with each of us going through them in our own way.  Sometimes we skip "expected" stages or circle back or jump around, even from one day to the next.  The grief journey is unique for each of us.  We do not "move on" or "get over it."  What we do, with time and support (especially from people like the members here), is learn to carry grief along with our love, joy, and sheer gratitude that we were given such a gift in our lives.  We take steps forward as we adjust to a different life and a strange new path.  Your path will be your own, but we are all walking the same painful road together.((HUGS))

 

[KayC]

19 hours ago, Daya said:

Sometimes I feel guilt for being happy because I just remember how sick and tired my baby boy was on his last days

Please don't put this on yourself.  It is okay to feel happy moments after they died (I lost my husband 17 1/2 years ago and I remember an article I read on giving ourselves permission to be happy, it impacted me greatly...I began looking for some measure of good in each day on day 11, if I can do it, anyone can!).  This is not the same article but is similar:
Smile Permission

19 hours ago, Daya said:

I feel this raging anger towards god.

And that's okay, He has broad shoulders, He can take it....He understands and cares.  It is also very common to feel this early in grief, often times people do for the first year...I remember after my husband passed, it was so hard, I'd always been an avid pray-er and I now felt God was a million miles away, where was He?!  After a year or so I realized it was God who had literally carried me, He'd been there all the time but I didn't see/feel it as all I could see and feel was my grief.  Grief fog is a real thing.  When I lost my Arlie (my soulmate in a dog, my best friend, my companion, my everything!) it felt very much like when I'd lost my George (husband).  3 1/2 years later and I am still grieving him.  You see, love doesn't die, thus neither does grief, but grief does evolve in time...I wrote this article after about ten years after losing my husband and being on grief groups like this, so it's not my input alone, but rather what I have gathered and gleaned from other's posts as well.

Thinking of you today...and honestly believing wholeheartedly he happily awaits you to join him in that better place!

Grief Process

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs)))  Praying for you today.

 

[KayC]

4 hours ago, KyHellsbelles said:

When  we see dogs on the tv I immediately turn the channel. It is too painful to see these beautiful, happy good boys & girls playing with & loving their humans.

I remember my sister giving me a book "The Art of Racing in the Rain."  Excellent book but not meant for one newly grieving their dog!!!  I got most of the way through it but it took me over a year to read the last chapter.  I knew what it'd say and I just couldn't.  And I was right.  Sometimes we have to protect ourselves from what we can't handle and that is okay.  It didn't help that this dog was a Golden Retriever and my Arlie was half Golden and half Siberian Husky.  A beautiful combination.  

 

[KayC]

3 hours ago, foreverhis said:

The 5 Stages book was actually a study of how terminal patients reacted after being given their diagnoses, not for those left behind grieving.  I believe they did a follow up with more identified "stages" in relationship to grief.  But here's the thing:  This journey is not a straight line from "start" to "finish." 

Absolutely!  
Stages of Grief and Other Lies That Don't Help Anyone | HuffPost Life
The Five Stages of Grief debunked
The 5 Stages of Grief debunked
The Stages of Grief

[KyHellsbelles]

5 hours ago, foreverhis said:

What we do, with time and support (especially from people like the members here), is learn to carry grief along with our love, joy, and sheer gratitude that we were given such a gift in our lives. 

Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experiences. I also appreciate the reminder about grief not being linear. I should have remembered how much we have swung between every emotion possible over the past year in grieving Philby. Thank you for your kind words.

[KyHellsbelles]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

I remember my sister giving me a book "The Art of Racing in the Rain." 

I remember seeing the previews for that movie and thinking that there was no way I could watch it. This is something I have dreaded since they were just puppies. It was not always front row in my mind but would surface from time to time. Thank you for sharing your experience. From reading your posts it does sound like Arlie was indeed a wonderful and loving companion. I know those two adjectives can't possibly encompass all he was. I feel the same about our Phil & Alice. Thank you again for taking the time to reply & share your experience.

1 hour ago, KayC said:

This journey is not a straight line from "start" to "finish."

Thank you for sharing those links. I know they're going to be helpful in understanding our journey through grief.

[KayC]

Praying for you today...

[KyHellsbelles]

8 hours ago, KayC said:

Praying for you today...

And I for you, as well as for all those hurting today. Thank you so very much for remembering us. 

[Anawilliam850]

I'm so sorry for you loss and understand you perfectly, because I'm feling the same way when my cat died

[KayC]

@Anawilliam850 When did your cat die?  I see you here being for others but haven't seen a post about your own loss...was it recently?   I'm sorry for yours as well...

[FHF]

On 2/17/2018 at 4:53 AM, Sarah&Ava said:

Oh Rari, I read your post and I get it, i mean I really GET it.  I won't bore you with all the details but if you go back and read some of my earlier posts about my dog Ava you will see I have had all of these feelings.  I have so so many regrets about the life I gave my precious girl,  I was not good enough and she definetly deserved better and I will live with the guilt of that for the rest of my life, but as someone said, it was the only life she know, she had nothing to compare it to, it was her life and she was happy with it.  it wasn't like she had a radically different, better life before me and I then gave her a horrible life, it was all she knew.  It doesn't mean I don't still have massive, massive regrets and still feel guilty but it has helped me to start to forgive myself.  I also know the pain you are in and what you mean about a new dog, you see before Ava I had another dog that died after 14 years together, I couldn't get over her and even tried to take my own life because I was in so much pain.  I got Ava but found it hard to bond with her because I felt I was betraying my old dog.  However, I kept her and we grew to develop every bit as strong a bond as I ever had with my last dog and now Ava's time is almost up I am beyound devastated and have so so much regret and guilt about her life and me as a person.  What you're feeling is the intense pain of unprocessed grief.  I have found this site has helped me, it's helped me to say all these things and have lots of really supportive people who understand and who are all going through the same pain.  Don't give up come here, vent, cry, ramble,tell stories about your precious boy and allow yourself to come to terms with your loss.

 

[FHF]

I know these comments are old, but maybe writing will be therapeutic for me. Today is Friday, Jan 6, 2023. I lost my Sophie on Wednesday the 4th, so 2 days ago. I had forgotten how it feels to cry like the deep, loud cry. In fact it was a little scary to me. Yesterday was a little better, but today I’m either crying or on the verge. I got my baby at 6 weeks old, and she just turned 14 on 12/22/22. I’m single, never married, and no kids, so she was it. My house is empty right now. Everything in here reminds me of her. Her doggie door, food, treats, toys, bowls, collars, bed, blankets, even hair. I knew it would hurt, but I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t understand how people can just post about it right away on social media. People will understandably comment, ask questions, etc., and I just don’t want to deal with that right now. I mean my profile picture on Facebook is of me holding Sophie when she was around one, and I’ve never changed it. I’ve only told 3-4 people. I suppose the answer is everyone has to grieve in their own way. I haven’t felt like taking my life, but I can appreciate why someone might feel that way. I would just say if you wait it out, it will get better. It doesn’t mean you’ll forget, it just means it gets easier with time. I feel a little guilty because I don’t remember hurting like this when my sister died some years ago. I loved her very much, but I suppose since she had been living with her husband for 30 plus years, and I had been with Sophie for 14 years, I was obviously closer to Sophie. I’m not sure if non dog people would understand, and that’s ok. I don’t feel like I’ll ever stop crying. I’m going to try to visit this page daily and read to see if it helps, even if it’s not a direct response to my comments. I miss you so much, Sophie. I’m glad we spent so much time together, especially in the last few weeks. You loved me unconditionally, and I probably didn’t deserve it. I’d give anything to have you back. 

[KayC]

17 hours ago, FHF said:

I suppose since she had been living with her husband for 30 plus years, and I had been with Sophie for 14 years, I was obviously closer to Sophie.

Absolutely! That's why losing our pet can be one of the hardest losses we'll ever go through.  I lost my husband 17 1/2 years ago, I got Arlie (dog) 02/04/09 and he died 8/16/19...it felt like losing my husband all over again, except honestly, they are so loyal, so forgiving, they make us their study, is it any wonder we get so close to them!  Kids long grown, live elsewhere, busy with their own lives, I rarely hear from them, but Arlie was in my life every day!  I walked him twice/day, cooked for him his whole life (he had acute chronic colitis, which I controlled with diet, even the vet's food broke him out and he couldn't tolerate antibiotics.  My baby got cancer, I took care of him another two months ten days and had him euthanized to spare him the pain...it didn't work, the vet botched it horribly, he went out in severe pain, something that haunts me still.  I have to remind myself that was then and he is now at peace/rest and happily playing in heaven, awaiting the day I join him, in that place where time is no more and it's but a moment in time to him.

17 hours ago, FHF said:

I’d give anything to have you back. 

We all know this feeling!  I am so sorry you lost your precious Sophie!  My heart goes out to you in your loss.  So hard.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers
I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[Donna muchelle]

My bby boy mylo was half jackrussel half pitbull 3 and half wks ago he began to feel ill he didn't eat for 5 days drink for 4 I was giving him shringe with water on the 5th day he didn't go toilet so rung emergency vets was hoping for antibiotics for him when I got there they told me what I didn't want to here I knew he was in pain and didn't want him to suffer but didn't want to leave go either he wasn't just my bby he was my best friend we never spent any time apart I never left him on his own but I knew I couldn't think of my self I had to think of his needs he was suffering so I done the right thing it's been 3 wks now he was put to rest but I can't stop thinking bout him I'm crying all the time and feel I want to be with him I seriously can't cope without him it's so hard. 

[KayC]

They made you leave when they put him to sleep?  That's horrible!  I am so sorry, for him and for you.  His suffering has ended but yours has begun.  My heart truly goes out to you.

Hoping this brings you some measure of comfort....
Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

[FHF]

On 1/7/2023 at 8:18 AM, KayC said:

Absolutely! That's why losing our pet can be one of the hardest losses we'll ever go through.  I lost my husband 17 1/2 years ago, I got Arlie (dog) 02/04/09 and he died 8/16/19...it felt like losing my husband all over again, except honestly, they are so loyal, so forgiving, they make us their study, is it any wonder we get so close to them!  Kids long grown, live elsewhere, busy with their own lives, I rarely hear from them, but Arlie was in my life every day!  I walked him twice/day, cooked for him his whole life (he had acute chronic colitis, which I controlled with diet, even the vet's food broke him out and he couldn't tolerate antibiotics.  My baby got cancer, I took care of him another two months ten days and had him euthanized to spare him the pain...it didn't work, the vet botched it horribly, he went out in severe pain, something that haunts me still.  I have to remind myself that was then and he is now at peace/rest and happily playing in heaven, awaiting the day I join him, in that place where time is no more and it's but a moment in time to him.

We all know this feeling!  I am so sorry you lost your precious Sophie!  My heart goes out to you in your loss.  So hard.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers
I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

 

[FHF]

This is the first time I’ve been back on this site, and today is Jan 29, 2023. I want to thank “KayC” for the kind words and the video. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and leave the video. I think about Sophie everyday, and it’s nice to know that others are here offering their support. All the best to you. 

[KayC]

Bless your heart, you're welcome!  Praying for you as you make your way through this, I know it's tough.  It takes so long for the blow to soften a bit but we never ever stop missing them.  My heart aches for my Arlie still, after 3 1/2 years.

[Mervat]

My poco passed away 10 days ago , I’m so devastated and miss him so much , he was everything to me my world my everything I had him

since he was 3 months old . He was born on 4/17/2013 and passed away on 3/9/2023. He was the sweetest thing ever . He was diagnosed with a heart murmur but he was fine and playful. What hurts me the most that day he died he was fine played ate well and acted normally . We went to sleep , he usually sleeps in my bed , I always kiss him before he sleeps and tell him how much I love him and I did the same that night then I saw him sleeping . I went to the bathroom and came back and wondered why he didn’t feel me getting up . Then he opened his eyes a little when I said “ oh your sleeping so deep you didn’t even feel me getting up” and then layer in my bed and 2 minutes after I heard him snoring and gasping for air I tried to cpr him but no success.. I miss him so much and  feel guilty that I thought he was having a good sleep and I didn’t know it was his last night with me .it just kills me.

https://ibb.co/pLFxwzQ

https://ibb.co/VS6GGPY

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  It sounds like he went quickly, although we'd sure wish for more time with them.  I lost mine to cancer 3 1/2 years ago, then 25 1/2 year old Kitty 4 1/2 months later.

The beginning is such a shock, it's hard to get through, my heart goes out to you, everything is a trigger, their toys, bed, water bowl, our routine...

http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm

 

Such a sweet looking dog!  I love the big eyes.

[LeeKen]

17 hours ago, Mervat said:

My poco passed away 10 days ago , I’m so devastated and miss him so much , he was everything to me my world my everything I had him

since he was 3 months old . He was born on 4/17/2013 and passed away on 3/9/2023. He was the sweetest thing ever . He was diagnosed with a heart murmur but he was fine and playful. What hurts me the most that day he died he was fine played ate well and acted normally . We went to sleep , he usually sleeps in my bed , I always kiss him before he sleeps and tell him how much I love him and I did the same that night then I saw him sleeping . I went to the bathroom and came back and wondered why he didn’t feel me getting up . Then he opened his eyes a little when I said “ oh your sleeping so deep you didn’t even feel me getting up” and then layer in my bed and 2 minutes after I heard him snoring and gasping for air I tried to cpr him but no success.. I miss him so much and  feel guilty that I thought he was having a good sleep and I didn’t know it was his last night with me .it just kills me.

https://ibb.co/pLFxwzQ

https://ibb.co/VS6GGPY

SO Sorry to hear! I had a Chorki that passed away two months ago and he also had a heart murmur and then they found a tumor in his lung. He went so fast. It sounds like there was not much suffering in which I always have to remind myself of. Then recently, not even a week ago my big dog passed unexpectedly and I thought maybe he was choking but he made no noise (he jumped up by me and looked at me and was gone), we also did CPR but he went so quick. He was not quite 8, so I really understand your hurt. Feel free to reply so we can mourn together. I think the best thing right now for people grieving is to have a community like this.

[Daya]

It’s been about six months since my sweet baby boy Rocky died. I really thought that I was getting better at dealing with the idea that I will never see him again.I still remember the day we got him he was so tiny. My dad had chosen him because he was the tiniest one in the litter.He looked scary to someone people but his personality was so gentle and kind. I’ve spoken to some people and when I tell them I still feel so many emotions after 6 months of his passing they look at me so surprised. What I think they don’t take into consideration is that I went to all of his treatments and I would see how he was affect by them and I would hold him the whole 2 hour drive home hoping and praying he would get better. We would take him to the vet in my car and he enjoyed looking and sticking his head out the window. Since this was during the fall it was a little chilly and his noise would be all wet and smear all over my windows. Ever since he passed and I go to clean my car I never wipe his noise prints from the windows. Because of the weather his noise smudges are starting to become less noticeable and it breaks my heart, I feel like loosing another part of him.although we have his ashes and his paw print and fur it still gives me some anxiety thinking about his noise smudges being completely gone. I’m posting this with tears in my eyes so I hope it is not too confusing reading this.

[Rachel Gill]

Hi Daya, Firstly sorry for the loss of your dog it's the same pain as losing a family member. I lost my own  Roxy 6 mths ago it's still painful thinking of the beautiful times we spent together. Although the pain isn't so intense now it still hurts alot. Im lucky she is buried at my land so I go there everyday with my other dog and a dog I mind for the last 6 years. I'm glad I can go to the grave and tell her how much I miss her. Remember we will be reunited at rainbow bridge when it's our time and I'll be so happy to see my beautiful Roxy. Pain and grief come from the happy times you spent together with your Rocky. Time is a great healer but Love lasts a lifetime. Hope this gives you some comfort. 

[KayC]

It is hard when we see these changes (nose smudges disappearing) happening because it feels like it's taking them further from us...yet really it isn't because they continue to live in our hearts.  I truly believe they'll be in heaven waiting for us when we get there and meanwhile they're happily playing with other animals.  Recently someone made the comment on our forum that our animals aren't in heaven...it gave me zero to one hundred reaction instantly!  I couldn't believe the emotion it evoked!  My mom used to say that and I countered with books/articles that state differently.  And reminded the person the lion shall lay down with the lamb, so why not with my Arlie, Lucky, Fluffy, Kitty, Miss Mocha, King George, etc.?  Always look forward to the day we'll be reunited!  I so agree with @Rachel Gill here!

Pets go to heaven

We Will See Our Pets in Heaven: The Afterlife of Animals from a Biblical Perspective: Burgess, Brian: 9781478716976: Amazon.com: Books

Thinking of you and saying a prayer for your healing heart...

[foreverhis]

On 3/19/2023 at 6:32 PM, Mervat said:

I miss him so much and  feel guilty that I thought he was having a good sleep and I didn’t know it was his last night with me .it just kills me.

What wonderful pictures.  He was adorable.  Of course you miss him deeply.  He was family; he was pure love.  I have no doubt that you gave him a wonderful, joyous life.

Our dogs were always medium size (Keeshonds), but I've learned that heart murmurs are very common in the smaller breeds.  My dear friend Raleigh, a 12 lb bundle of silliness and love, was diagnosed with a mild one at her last yearly exam.  Her parents, also my dear friends, advised me so that I'd know to watch for symptoms when she's visiting me.  The thing is that her vet (also my Cosi's vet) told her parents that sometimes, things progress quickly and there's not always anything to be done except hold and love them as they leave for the Rainbow Bridge.

I honestly do not believe you could have known.  Yet, I also know that my words are scant comfort right now.  In time, I hope you will be able to see that is true.  Why wouldn't you think that he was having that deep sleep dogs often do, especially when they grow a little older?

I'm so very sorry you lost him.

On 4/3/2023 at 9:00 PM, Daya said:

it still gives me some anxiety thinking about his noise smudges being completely gone. I’m posting this with tears in my eyes so I hope it is not too confusing reading this.

No, it's not at all confusing.  Every time some part of them, some reminder, vanishes it feels as if another piece of our hearts is breaking.  When I could no longer smell my husband's scent on his clothes or pillows, I felt another little part of him drifting away.  Funny thing is that the very first night my recently adopted rescue cat was in the bedroom with me, she scouted out "her" side of the bed (John's side).  She sniff-sniffed at his pillow.  Then she reached out and pulled it toward her before sniffing, kneading, and then settling down leaning against it.  She has done that every night for the past 3 months, as if she can still scent him there, where my human nose no longer can.

Recently, I was laughing to a friend that I realized my lower windows all have cat nose prints again now that I have my Cosi girl.  And when I take my friend Raleigh in the car somewhere, she'll put her little nose on the passenger side window too.  I clean them, but it occurred to me that some day I might not want to erase that memory of our lives together.  I get it, truly.  It took me years to let go of my soul dog Charlie's collar and the only reason I did was because it was getting mildewed in our damp climate.

Even when those smudges are gone, the love will remain.  It's all we have to hold onto some times.

[KayC]

My patio door is covered with smudges from Kodie and Panther!  I wash them once in a while but as soon as I do, they're right back!

[Scout1969]

Please don't give up! I'm going through the same thing you are I assure you hun. I know that your dog was more than just your best friend. My Scout was my everything. And like you, I have sense adopted a new dog and its not the same I totally understand. I am hear for you if you need to talk.