I lost my father on 9/20

[NoOneLeft]

My father had a stroke on the 15th he was getting ready to go to our shop. He survived till the 20th and I tried to stay there everyday and make sure he was confortable and out of pain. What makes this really hard is that I lost my mom and sister a little over 3 yrs. ago. All my energy went to him and a few good people I connected with on here, but I didn't really grieve there losses. We never closed our shop after there passsing that was pops way of getting through it. I would get him lunch come home cook do dishes by the time I was done it was like a 12 hr day but that was ok b/c I loved him. I lost it the day after he passed and a good friend that was my basic contact to the outside world for the last yr or so. I'm now lost and he's finally with his wife and daughter it's been like 5 days sense we was buried with them. I'm not eating well, I didn't sleep last night and I haven't had any dreams with him yet. I'm just trying to get the bills paid for the shop and keep that going but I can't stay there but a couple hrs. Today was the first day i spent most the day there. I got so many legal things I have to do I don't know where to start, but some I cant do till I get all the paper work togather. I've cut myself off from most people, but finally I finally called hospis and see someone. I guess it feels like i got to grieve for all three, I'm not functioning well right now b/c my life was basically him and the shop. I been having a hard time on this site sense his loss and I know I need help, and people to talk to.

Thanks Wally

[elong1969]

My mother passed away on September 6, 2010 and its been so difficult for me. She was my best friend and I loved her so much. Now I try to get thru the days. My son told me yesterday that "Grandma would not want you sad all the time" I know its true but I just can't stop from being this way. I am not sure how I will get thru the holidays and her birthday coming up. I hope we can talk more. Elizabeth

[ModKonnie]

My father had a stroke on the 15th he was getting ready to go to our shop. He survived till the 20th and I tried to stay there everyday and make sure he was confortable and out of pain. What makes this really hard is that I lost my mom and sister a little over 3 yrs. ago. All my energy went to him and a few good people I connected with on here, but I didn't really grieve there losses. We never closed our shop after there passsing that was pops way of getting through it. I would get him lunch come home cook do dishes by the time I was done it was like a 12 hr day but that was ok b/c I loved him. I lost it the day after he passed and a good friend that was my basic contact to the outside world for the last yr or so. I'm now lost and he's finally with his wife and daughter it's been like 5 days sense we was buried with them. I'm not eating well, I didn't sleep last night and I haven't had any dreams with him yet. I'm just trying to get the bills paid for the shop and keep that going but I can't stay there but a couple hrs. Today was the first day i spent most the day there. I got so many legal things I have to do I don't know where to start, but some I cant do till I get all the paper work togather. I've cut myself off from most people, but finally I finally called hospis and see someone. I guess it feels like i got to grieve for all three, I'm not functioning well right now b/c my life was basically him and the shop. I been having a hard time on this site sense his loss and I know I need help, and people to talk to.

Thanks Wally

Wally,

I am so sorry I didn't respond earlier to your post. I somehow missed it, so I sincerely apologize. I want to offer my deepest condolences to you in the loss of your father and your sister and mother. I'm sure you are feeling overwhelmed and lost at this point. I am glad you finally called to talk to someone, and I am glad to see you here. There are people here who have been through these experiences, and they will be able to offer you support.

I myself lost my father last year. I miss him dearly. At first it was hard to think, eat or even sleep. Actually nights were the worst when I would lay there and just think about the whole situation. It has taken awhile, but I am doing far better than those early days. You will be too, it's just going to take a long time. Your grieving is perfectly normal. If you can't eat, try to drink some of those nutritional supplements, and be sure to drink plenty of water. Also, caffeine, like lots of coffee, may make it worse to try to sleep, and it may give you more jitters than you probably already are experiencing.

You sound like a good son for being there and making sure your dad had everything he needed. If I can help you in any way navigate this site, let me know.

We look forward to hearing more from you. You try to take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to come here and post as much as you want as often as you want. We will be waiting.

ModKonnie

[NoOneLeft]

thank you so much for your support, there's somuch to deal with in a legal aspect. A sister who said she didn't have a father wants the will and everything else. It's a fight everyday an I'm having a hard time functioning right now. I have to try to rune a business get legal **** taken care of, the story never ends. Thank your tyhe first person I've heard from so far.

Thanks

Wally

Wally,

I am so sorry I didn't respond earlier to your post. I somehow missed it, so I sincerely apologize. I want to offer my deepest condolences to you in the loss of your father and your sister and mother. I'm sure you are feeling overwhelmed and lost at this point. I am glad you finally called to talk to someone, and I am glad to see you here. There are people here who have been through these experiences, and they will be able to offer you support.

I myself lost my father last year. I miss him dearly. At first it was hard to think, eat or even sleep. Actually nights were the worst when I would lay there and just think about the whole situation. It has taken awhile, but I am doing far better than those early days. You will be too, it's just going to take a long time. Your grieving is perfectly normal. If you can't eat, try to drink some of those nutritional supplements, and be sure to drink plenty of water. Also, caffeine, like lots of coffee, may make it worse to try to sleep, and it may give you more jitters than you probably already are experiencing.

You sound like a good son for being there and making sure your dad had everything he needed. If I can help you in any way navigate this site, let me know.

We look forward to hearing more from you. You try to take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to come here and post as much as you want as often as you want. We will be waiting.

ModKonnie

[lostinguilt]

I am so sorry for your loss. I too just recently lost my my father, well I say recently, it has been since January, 2010. It still feels like yesterday. He was just starting to enjoy living life again after losing his mother, sister and wife within a six day span five years ago. That was a very trying time for him and it seemed like there was no way to help him return to life, then one day I guess he just decided he was going to make the best of the rest of his life. I think the fact that he was actually enjoying life again is the hardest to swallow and also the only comforting part of his passing.

My father also died from a stroke, which was a complication from the mild heart attack he had the previous week. The entire family was caught by surprise and I have seen some very unexpected and surprising outbursts and emotions come from my brothers and sisters. Everything from unexpected kindness to some absolutely hurtful behavior that almost tore the family apart. It's hard to understand how after all of the stress and pain my brothers and sisters are still even speaking to each other. I am also having to handle all of his affairs and agree it is very difficult to even begin taking care of it. It seems like everything around me reminds me of Dad and it's almost too much to bear sometimes. I have managed to take care of a lot of the legal stuff, somehow. I know this is a very difficult time and it seems overwhelming...what am I saying? it IS very overwhelming, the emotions, the loss and the added responsibilities can make the simple things seem like the impossible. What helps me the most, I think? is just the simple things. Just knowing that I am not the only one going through this and that others have made it through somehow helps a little. I know that in the first month after we lost Dad I tried to be the strong one in the family and I did a pretty good job of it until I had to go through some of his things for all of the legal stuff, then it was like I was a little kid again, sneaking into Mom and Dads room. I think that was when I really lost it emotionally and physically. Ever since that moment the breakdowns have come often, usually when I am alone and feel like I could use some of his patience and sense of humor.

Anyway, I was trying to maybe reach out a little and it ended up becoming more of a personal storytelling than the support I was intending to give. All I can really say for sure is that this stuff really hurts bad and has knocked me down pretty low. Which makes me realize that it must be the similarities that made me feel like I had to post something. I hope that things get better for you soon...

My father had a stroke on the 15th he was getting ready to go to our shop. He survived till the 20th and I tried to stay there everyday and make sure he was confortable and out of pain. What makes this really hard is that I lost my mom and sister a little over 3 yrs. ago. All my energy went to him and a few good people I connected with on here, but I didn't really grieve there losses. We never closed our shop after there passsing that was pops way of getting through it. I would get him lunch come home cook do dishes by the time I was done it was like a 12 hr day but that was ok b/c I loved him. I lost it the day after he passed and a good friend that was my basic contact to the outside world for the last yr or so. I'm now lost and he's finally with his wife and daughter it's been like 5 days sense we was buried with them. I'm not eating well, I didn't sleep last night and I haven't had any dreams with him yet. I'm just trying to get the bills paid for the shop and keep that going but I can't stay there but a couple hrs. Today was the first day i spent most the day there. I got so many legal things I have to do I don't know where to start, but some I cant do till I get all the paper work togather. I've cut myself off from most people, but finally I finally called hospis and see someone. I guess it feels like i got to grieve for all three, I'm not functioning well right now b/c my life was basically him and the shop. I been having a hard time on this site sense his loss and I know I need help, and people to talk to.

Thanks Wally