Members katant Posted April 27, 2010 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 Hello all.I know it's been quite some time since I have posted. I have been milling through my days in a fog. I felt as if I was doing well. I was working at an ENT surgery center per deim and loving the place. I had hoped and prayed as my one year being there approched I would be offered a permanent position. Well that did not happen. And with the loss of jobs and people losing their health insurance, our surgeries at the center went way down. Which meant that they did not need me as much anymore. I actually have not worked there since March 20th. It's now the end of April.So I took a part time job at a local college here working in the surgical tech lab as a lab assistant. I knew it was only 19 hours a week, with a 6$ pay cut. But it would be 19 hours a week. I found out last week that during the Intersession, which runs from June 2nd through July 19th that I would not be working. MAN, I was like...wtf....I am finding in the last 6 months, I find something that seems to be working out and then something stops. I am so stuck right now. I am told to go back to school to get my B.A. in Science, which sounds great...but....it will cost me $38,000 to return back to school, as well as working and going back to that grind. And do I really want to be working in this health care field in the next 3 years that will change all of our lives. We really don't know what will happen with Obama and the health care industry. Through my years as a surgical tech, I have loved my job. But since losing Anthony, I just cannot work in that environment anymore. I am stuck in a rut.Jobs just are not out there. Full-time jobs in the health care field are actually drying up as well. Jobs are now part-time or per-diem so the company does not have to pay for health insurance. Very stressful and a feeling of defeat at 41.I know I am young, but I have worked so hard for the past 10 years and feel now I am lost. Don't know what the hell to do. Work 19 hours a week, living at home with my parents. A complete loser. My life is a complete pile of ****.People look at me and think.....so strong....your doing so well.....yeah...nOT..I made an appointment with my grief conselor for tomorrow. Yep, no insurance so instead of a $15 copay it will cost me $150.00 but I need some direction.My parents think I need to "move on", "get over the loss of my son", how the hell do I do that. I have always wanted to open my own hair salon...I think I may just say screw up, get my cosmotology liscence and just do it. Open my own place next spring.So that's where I am. Oh yes and of course....STILL DEALING WITH MY LEGAL CRAP....it is such crap....i cannot STAND it anymore. Some day I will look back and try to figure out..."what the hell am I doing, where did i come from and where did I end up"....Ill take any advise, help. Thank you to my BI friends.Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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