Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

hell on earth


mr miserable

Recommended Posts

  • Members
mr miserable

I lost a kid that was a son to me back in sept of 2016. This kid was so special to me--we had such an amazing connection! He was an Iraqi war veteran--2 tours who suffered horrible from PTSD and Panic attacks!! I witnessed many of his "nightmare episodes" and his Panic attacks! He suffered greatly! I thought he was getting help. He was suppose to move back to Indiana with me( lived in Calf. at the time) and join me in operating my ceramic business! He committed suicide before getting back here! He was only 27!!! I feel horrible guilt that I didn't say the right thing to him, I didn't go out and get him and bring him back with me--i just really feel like I wasn't there for him!!!! I have never had a connection with anyone like I had with him! It has pretty much left me feeling totally hopeless and I no longer find ANY joy in anything!! I drink alot more than I did--I dont want anyone around me-- I isolated my self from family--I seldom answer the phone even!! He was my everything! How do you go on after losing some one so important to you?? I usually stay in my bedroom all weekend long!! This is no life!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Dear Friend,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know your pain and sorrow is deep. And it hurts so bad right now. Please know you are not alone and there is help. I hope you will consider grief counselling or joining a support group. There are so many resources in the community or through church. In my own search for answers, I find these websites helpful. What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog.

It is hard to carry on when one of the most important persons in our lives has passed. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself. Take it moment by moment, day by day. Some days will be a lot harder. I know you still have a lot of questions and guilt. We all do. We all want to go back in time. Its only natural and normal because we did care. It wasn't your fault. I always thought of myself as a superhero trying to make everything "right." But in the end, it wasn't. It is a struggle to manage these thoughts.

We are here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Tommy's mum

mrmiserable I am so sorry you lost someone so important to you through suicide. It seems like the poor boy was incredibly tortured by his experiences and unfortunately could not find the strength to keep going. mental illness is very unpredictable and you could not have foreseen what was going to happen. i am sure he really appreciated your guidance and loving support but he could not deal with his PTSD. It was not your fault. Please join us on Loss of an Adult Child thread. It is the most active and there are many wise parents who can help support you in your grief. isolating yourself and drinking more are common coping strategies but you recognise that they are not healthy strategies. family and friends often just don't get it, and some are probably a bit baffled because technically he was not your son ,but deep relationships can form anytime it is when a connection is made that becomes very important.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
My girl is in heaven

Mr. Miserable.  Please do not blame yourself for this boys death.  I have blamed myself for years for not getting to my daughter on time.  But neither one of us knew, otherwise we would have moved heaven and earth to have saved those kids.  I know the loneliness and sadness your are facing right now.  Please do not shut yourself away from the world anymore. You see you think you are probably alone in how you feel, but all of us here although under different circumstances have lost a child close to us.  A lot of us feel guilt and have felt hopeless and depleted.  Friends and family often don't understand, but we do.  Come on over to loss of an adult child where a lot of people post.  There are a lot of kind, caring individuals there.  You never need to feel alone.  We are always here for you.  Hang on and let us help you.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Mr. Miserable, I'm so sorry for your loss! Losing someone who's like your own son is like losing your own son. It's the purest form of hell that I know of. It took me four years before I could look in the mirror and say "I'm strong again" after Cameron's death. Please consider getting professional help to help you deal with the pain, because you are experiencing more than people who haven't lost their "kid", and they don't understand the depth, intensity, and length of it. I also  found that when Cameron died, there came a point where I had to make a very DELIBERATE decision to live rather than survive. Whenever you get to that point, I beg you to choose to live your life again to honor your kid. Please make a deliberate choice to live your life to honor your kid's memory rather than have his memory and your guilt feeling ruin your life. Live to honor him. You will know when that time comes to make that decision. We're here for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.