Members debbief Posted March 30, 2010 Members Report Share Posted March 30, 2010 I am new to this site and find it abit daunting seeing so many people in so much pain over the loss of someone, never thought I would be here doing this sort of thing especially for my beautiful son Sammy.He was 19 and died in a car accident last year on the 31st May 2009, he was alone and it was instant, so I am told. Sam was going to see his girlfriend Saturday night in a little village about 6 miles from me where he lived, I didn't want him to stay for reasons he knows but he was adamant so I didn't worry when he didn't come home. I had a knock on the door at 6am Sunday my husband (his step father) and I were told that he had been found around 3.30am in his car and had had the accident around 2.30am, so my beautiful son had been all alone in his car for over an hour while I slept!!!! My world changed that moment, that second, that day, that year, I became someone else! I rang his sister who is older and his father who lives in Singapore, my brain was like runny jelly, my body worked but my head was mashed. How can this happen? why did this happen? he loved life and lived it to the full every day, he had so many friends more than I ever realised, his funeral was bursting at the seams, people were so kind.I am dreading the first year anniversay, how will I feel? what will the day bring? how am going to cope with this each year? Will it make me a better person? some people say it does but how? I am here now for my daughter and granddaughter otherwise there would be no reason, people tell me that you are lucky you have a good husband, friends and family around you, which I do know and without them especially my husband I wouldn't be here today, BUT what is life if you don't have your children around you and you can't protect them. I feel I have let my Sammy down, I should have been there for him and held him and told him I love him, just one more time, why is life so cruel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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