Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

"Helpful" Words of Support From Friends


Jeff In Denver

Recommended Posts

  • Members
Jeff In Denver

I'm still getting insensitive comments from people who mean well, but just don't get it.  I have learned that you just can't know what this feels like unless it happens to you.  I have also learned what not to say and what TO say to other people who have experienced this kind of loss - very little.  "I'm sorry to hear about your loss.  I'm here if you ever want to talk." That pretty much covers it.

Today, I ran into my next door neighbor and she said that she was surprised that I wasn't interested in beginning a relationship with a nice woman who I hang with sometimes.  (I lost my GF in mid-June of this year).  I told her why.  She said, "Why not?  She's not here."  What a stupid comment.  And this is from someone who was devastated when she lost her mother 7 years ago.

A realtor friend has a friend who came home to find her husband dead on the floor a few months ago.  This friend of hers lives 4 or 5 blocks from my house.  I never met her, but were supposed to meet for mutual support.  It never happened, and I won't push it.  Anyway, a few weeks ago I received an e-mail from my friend which said:  "Well, they had the funeral last Friday, so my friend is on the road to recovery!!!   All I could do was shake my head.  This realtor lost her father 2 years ago due to medical malpractice.

Another friend keeps saying that he knows how much I loved her.  I have to keep reminding him that it's in the present tense.

One of my sisters today told me that she was glad that I was "doing good."  I had to correct her and remind her about what I am dealing with.  A few weeks ago she asked me if I am seeing anybody.

Again, these people aren't malicious.  They're just ignorant of the realities of this stuff and it really pisses me off.  I know it shouldn't.

Rant over. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

This is exactly why we're here, for you to rant and have folks understand. I hope you feel a litle better.  Im not looking for sympathy but heres my rant...I lost my husband August 19th of this year. I haven't heard from my oldest son since 9 days after my husband died.  My youngest son talks to me like crap and neither he or anyone else asks me how I'm  doing. They never talk about my husband either, like he never existed. I guess they think I'm fine. That couldn't be further from the truth. I do my best to not let it bother me, it takes too much energy.  I'm thinking I'd just as soon not have them ask me if they would be that insensitive.  You are right, if it hasn't happened to you, you can't get it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver

I am really to hear about your loss and what you're going through.  My heart goes out to you...  I'm sorry about your son's reaction.  It's probably not that unusual, though.  

I lost my mother two years ago.  She was in Florida and I am in Colorado.  I never bothered to check with her husband afterward and see how he was doing.  I'm just as bad.  I hadn't ever been through that.

They say that, in general, the hardest loss is when you lose a kid, and losing a partner comes in a close second.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sorry to the both of you---I know too what this is like. People do mean well generally. Then there are those who are so caught up in their lives they forget how to be sensitive.

My husband's son lives next door. He lives in his own world and is a bachelor. Watches movies when he's home. My husband and I considered ourselves lucky if we saw him once or twice a month. He's there for me if I need him for something but he's admitted he does miss his dad but not with the same intensity that I am. At least he's honest. My husband's daughter lives 20 miles away. She was here twice the week her dad passed. Hasn't been here since.Granted, she works full time during the week and another part time job on the weekends.Her divorce was final the month before her dad passed, which he was happy about since the divorce had dragged on for a year. She has a new boyfriend and they are living together. She has a new life and I'm happy for her. But she hasn't spared any time to call me. I did exchange a couple of emails with her and she's admitted she has no idea what I'm going through. She wasn't that close to her dad, but yet whenever she hit a bump in life's road, it was her dad and I she came crying to.Since her life has been going so well, she might be in denial until she needs help again.During that first week they were here, they both brought up that sometime down the road, because I'm 57, that I might find someone to replace their dad. Instead of breaking down like I wanted to, I reminded them that no one could ever compare to their dad. They had a good life growing up due to their dad working long hours. The 25 years I was with their dad, they took it for granted that I was the one taking care of him. The last 10 years when my husband's health was declining, it was the son who would help out with the mechanical things since my husband had physical limitations. Friends were helpful also but usually it was my husband and I struggling along the best we could.

Now, 3 months since my husband has been gone, most of the people I know have gone back to their lives. Only a few keep in touch and I'm grateful for that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I am so sorry for what you all are experiencing.  I remember getting my share of insensitive inappropriate remarks, and still get them!  Like my sister that says she knows how I feel not being able to drive at night.  No she doesn't, she has a husband that drives her around.  Or my other sister that says I'm lucky because I don't have to listen to football blaring all the time.  Lucky??  What I wouldn't give to have my husband back, and he could watch anything he wanted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thank you, KayC----People who have not lost their life's partner have no clue about the pain, heartache, emptiness, etc. My husband had the tv on almost 24/7. Had the volume cranked up due to hearing loss in one ear. I lived with it because I understood. Sometimes I would put cotton balls in my ears. Just recently I came across cotton balls in my robe pocket and I crashed. I keep the tv turned up just to ease the lonliness.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver
1 hour ago, KayC said:

I am so sorry for what you all are experiencing.  I remember getting my share of insensitive inappropriate remarks, and still get them!  Like my sister that says she knows how I feel not being able to drive at night.  No she doesn't, she has a husband that drives her around.  Or my other sister that says I'm lucky because I don't have to listen to football blaring all the time.  Lucky??  What I wouldn't give to have my husband back, and he could watch anything he wanted.

Wow...  That just floors me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi everyone I am new to posting on this forum, however I completely understand how you've all been feeling, my helpful words was a comment from a friend I had not heard from for months who out of the blue decided to say I should take down photos of my lost one from social media because she said it was time and made her feel uncomfortable....yeah ok, because you haven't spoken to me in months but it's ok to tell me how to grieve?! That's my rant...then I admitted in public to a group of friends that I was still crying, and a friend's response "still??!".... My only response was I'm trying not too. 

I feel for all of you and send everyone good thoughts. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps to see how others deal with this horrible journey. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am also new. My husband died from head and neck cancer on Sept. 28. 

I have come to realize there is a whole other world out there consisting of grieving people. It's like half of the world isn't recognized because the other half doesn't have a frame of reference. I was the same before Mike died.

A neighbor had knocked on my door about 3 weeks after my husband died and I had been crying. She acted surprised and asked why I was crying. I responded with my husband just died why wouldn't I be.

Someone also told me to grieve and then be free to love again. I was like huh????

Nothing against anyone loving again after losing a spouse or partner, but a month after my husband died?? 

Wow!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

@patti1956 I am so sorry people have been so insensitive, 1 month of losing your husband and telling you to love again?? Just nuts but your observation the world is split in 2 is so true I have great friends who are supportive but I can see they are beginning to think I should be over it - 1 year now....they really don't understand as they have not walked this path, and I think that's the only way anyone can understand too, I never knew what grief really meant until my loss. 

I hope you have some great friens and family to lean on. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
13 hours ago, Deb5517 said:

I should take down photos of my lost one from social media because she said it was time and made her feel uncomfortable.

Wow!  That takes the cake!  And we all know it's all about HER!  I'd have a hard time not unfriending her.

14 hours ago, Deb5517 said:

I was still crying, and a friend's response "still??!"

I'd say, "He's still dead."  Good grief!

I'm sorry for all of the insensitive stupid things people say to all of us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
13 hours ago, Patti1956 said:

It's like half of the world isn't recognized because the other half doesn't have a frame of reference.

I'm sorry that this is so true. :(  Welcome to this site, Patti and Deb!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
claribassist13
On 11/7/2016 at 7:42 AM, Jeff In Denver said:

They say that, in general, the hardest loss is when you lose a kid, and losing a partner comes in a close second.

 

I have to say, this is a comment that bothers me the most. 

I have never had a child, and I can only imagine what my fiance's mother has gone through. I have seen her pain, but I (hopefully) will never understand it. 
However, I vehemently disagree with the popular opinion that losing a child is worse than losing a spouse. There is no possible way on Earth for those 2 types of pain to be compared. His mother and I are grieving the same person but from completely different perspectives. We both grieve for the fact that he and I don't get to build a life together, but I grieve for the loss of my life while she grieves the loss of being able to watch her son start a family. 

The pain is in no way the same, but I'll be damned if anyone is going to tell me that his mother is hurting worse than I am. It is a different pain, but it is not a "worse" pain. 

 

I think we all get our fair share of well-meaning but ignorant comments. Not a month ago, my fiance's mother asked me why I wasn't dating a good friend of mine (who also lost a fiancee almost 5 years ago). It has not even been a year, and the mother of my fiance was suggested that I should be out and dating. 
I truly do believe that most things are said with the best intentions, but I also believe that a lot of stuff is said to make the individual who said it feel better.
It still hurts, and at some point I think we just have to bless their ignorance while trying to educate them the best that we can. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver

I agree, Claribassist13.  That has always bothered me, too.  How would they know which is worse?  A huge loss is a huge loss.  That comment from your fiance's mother is jarring.  Incredible.  Also, someone losing their dog could be more painful than losing their kid.  It's true.  You just can't know unless it's you.  Those general statements mean very little.

KayC:  " I'd say, "He's still dead."  That's a great response!  I will remember that.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
20 hours ago, claribassist13 said:

There is no possible way on Earth for those 2 types of pain to be compared.

That's why it's never good to "compare losses", to each one, THEIR loss is the worst!  I AM a mother, and I can't imagine losing one of them, they feel like a part of me, I've poured my heart and soul into them, I imagine the grief would be with you the rest of your life.  Losing my spouse affected every avenue of my being.  All of the everyday stuff, the holidays, the person I talked over my day with, the person the did half the stuff around here, paid for half of everything...but the hardest part is losing his holding me, our companionship, the tremendous love affair that was ours every day of our lives since we met and connected.  He was my best friend, my lover, my partner, my everything!  Nothing about my life has been the same since, nor will it ever be.

Some people would be quite offended at the statement:

20 hours ago, Jeff In Denver said:

someone losing their dog could be more painful than losing their kid.

Yet others feel their dog is like a child to them (I'm one) and losing them would affect their everyday life so greatly the loss seems unrecoverable.

The important thing is to never try to compare losses because to do so does a grave injustice to someone.  To each of us, be it spouse, child, or dog, parent, friend, or any other, our loss is greatest and deserves recognition as such.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver

KayC, you nailed it.  By the way, I used the dog/child comparison as an extreme example.  But I know that there are some parents who are estranged from their kids because the kid did something really, really bad, or for other justifiable reasons.  But they have a pet who they are close to.  The pet becomes everything to them.

You're right - our losses are the worst, no matter who it is.

You have been through so much.  Every time I read one of your posts it touches a nerve and I feel for you...

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
57 minutes ago, KayC said:

That's why it's never good to "compare losses", to each one, THEIR loss is the worst!  I AM a mother, and I can't imagine losing one of them, they feel like a part of me, I've poured my heart and soul into them, I imagine the grief would be with you the rest of your life.  Losing my spouse affected every avenue of my being.  All of the everyday stuff, the holidays, the person I talked over my day with, the person the did half the stuff around here, paid for half of everything...but the hardest part is losing his holding me, our companionship, the tremendous love affair that was ours every day of our lives since we met and connected.  He was my best friend, my lover, my partner, my everything!  Nothing about my life has been the same since, nor will it ever be.

Some people would be quite offended at the statement:

Yet others feel their dog is like a child to them (I'm one) and losing them would affect their everyday life so greatly the loss seems unrecoverable.

The important thing is to never try to compare losses because to do so does a grave injustice to someone.  To each of us, be it spouse, child, or dog, parent, friend, or any other, our loss is greatest and deserves recognition as such.

You're so right, KayC---everything in reference to your husband is how I feel.My husband and I have a great love story also and the love goes on. It has to. The love we shared is what is supposed to help us go on.  I'm feeling worse as each day goes by. I struggle, try to keep on as I know my husband would like me to. But the aloneness of him not being here is unbearable. I talk to him constantly as my coping mechanism. I hope one day it gets easier to live with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
claribassist13

I have to agree, your statement was well done KayC!

I think that the majority of us (who have suffered a loss) inherently understand this, but I believe it is difficult for people to realize this when in the midst of their own suffering. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
On 9 November 2016 at 6:05 AM, KayC said:

I'm sorry that this is so true. :(  Welcome to this site, Patti and Deb!

Thank you for your kind sentiments KayC, and I agree, we should not compare losses, each of our relationships are so unique and powerful, it's impossible to compare.  PS next time I will say 'he's still dead' definitely! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sorry for your loss is about all I can take.

If people go beyond that, I just tell them please don't make me cry.

And yes on the are you seeing someone? I have a friend, a guy I've known for years, a close friend who comes for coffee sometimes, (I own a bar/restaurant)
I get the are you seeing him stuff.
There is no way they can understand. No. no I don't *want* to date anyone, I just need human contact.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I'm feeling really low today, I mean really low, so this is a good place to come to, it's encouraging somehow to know that all of you are going on in spite of your immense loss.

My George took care of the maintenance and repairs around here, I don't know anything about all that.  I can't get on ladders, let alone the roof, with my Neuropathy.  I had my roof replaced by a reputable builder 2 1/2 years ago.  Recently it was leaking...well he is in prison now so there went my warranty.  I bought some stuff and hired my neighbor to put it on the roof.  Well guess what, I just discovered my ceiling is tacky.  It's so discouraging when you don't have money and no one to help and don't know who to trust.  I miss George, he would have had this taken care of already. :(  Just another thing I miss.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver

KayC, I am sorry that you're having a rough day.  I really hope I am not being too forward.  If it's okay we can take this offline, but I hope you will let us assist.

Everyone:  She didn't ask for it, but If anyone wants to help KayC, please message me privately.  I'll be glad to make the first donation via PayPal.  If we all pitch in we can help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Jeff,

That is so very sweet.  My own family hasn't even offered, and I have a BIL that has a roofing business...3 1/2 hours away, but still...

I wasn't looking for monetary help.  I'm not even positive it's still leaking, but since my ceiling is tacky (it has Killz paint on it from 2 1/2 years ago when they first roofed it), it could be the paint got wet when it started leaking recently and maybe the leak has been taken care of but it's still wet in the ceiling, I don't know.  There is no attic, it's a mobile home.  I placed a call to a roofer but haven't heard back from him, I want his opinion.

Anyway, I'm not seeking financial help on this forum, although it touched me greatly that you'd even consider that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

KayC---I'm so sorry about what you are going thru. I'm sorry you are feeling so low ----I'm feeling the same. The reality of my loss is sinking in more everyday. Wish we could give each other a hug.

What kind of roof on your mobile home? It was replaced 2 1/2 years ago, it shouldn't be leaking. Is your roof flat or peaked? Sorry if I'm intrusive---a flat roof wouldn't leak if a rubber roofing was put on. If it's peaked, rubber roofing can be installed under shingles. My husband and I used to live in my old mobile home. We ended up having a peak put on with metal roofing. Expensive of course. Are there any low income winterization programs available in your area?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

It is refreshing to see others having issues with people! I suffer from PTSD due to the tragedy and it almost seems as though people don't see my physical and emotional pain as valid. This has been a point of frustration for me that people just don't understand the extent to which an experience and person can have on your whole world. 

KayC- My father was the "Mr. Fix-it" around my house before he passed, so my mom has had a lot of issues trying to fix things herself and figuring everything out! One of her favorite things to do is to use Pinterest for the simple things and to go to stores like Lowe's and such to find a possible opinion or direction! I hope it all works out for you! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

You all are great, thanks.  The roof is peaked, nothing rubber.  It's leaking around the wood stove chimney.  It's a 38 year old mobile home, this is it's third roof, it never leaked there before this roof was put on.  Love contractors!  :angry2:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi KayC--Our lives now are certainly filled with challenges. Maybe that's why we're here, to learn to be independent. Did the last contractor put a metal flange around the wood stove chimney and put on rubber cement around it?

I'm not looking forward to winter. I did the shoveling, but my husband would go out with the tractor to plow enough so we could get out of the driveway. My stepson used to do the majority of the plowing, but the last 4 years he works for the county highway department and plows the highways. I have no clue who's going to plow the driveway now unless I go out an attempt it myself.

I find myself getting more sad and depressed as these days crawl by. So many *firsts* coming up and I feel like crawling into a hole and giving up. When my husband was still here, he had physical limitations the last several years. I would just grit my teeth and go ahead and take care of things the best I could for the both of us. Now, I feel lost and think, what's the point?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

The chimney has a built in flange and he sealed it, but from what I understand, sometimes they don't seal them just right.  Since it was two years later before I had a problem, I imagine the sealant either wasn't applied right or gave out.  I bought some high temperature silicone and also the rain patch and hired a neighbor to apply it.  I don't know if the water that appeared on the ceiling was from before that was done or after.  I'm still waiting for a roofer to call me back and keeping an eye on it to see if it gets better or worse.

After the original roofer first put the roof on, it leaked like a sieve right away, and he had to do something to it.  My guess is he put some goop around it, which can dry out over time and crack, hence two years later, problematic again.  Had he sealed it right to start with, that wouldn't have been necessary.  I'd had roofs on here for 36 years without it ever once leaking there!  It will undoubtedly be an ongoing problem from time to time, I'm sure.  

I know what you mean about the shoveling and plowing, that all falls to me now only I don't have a plow, I shovel it all by hand.  If it gets real bad I park up on the street and have to unbury my vehicle.  It's a lot of work and it's a wonder I haven't had a stoke doing it!

It's easy to feel overwhelmed, even with my anxiety medication.  Middle of the night is the worst for me.  I guess the point is to keep going for yourself, which is so hard without their love and encouragement.  I'm sure you notice a huge difference with him gone, even though he had physical limitations the last few years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
3 hours ago, KayC said:

The chimney has a built in flange and he sealed it, but from what I understand, sometimes they don't seal them just right.  Since it was two years later before I had a problem, I imagine the sealant either wasn't applied right or gave out.  I bought some high temperature silicone and also the rain patch and hired a neighbor to apply it.  I don't know if the water that appeared on the ceiling was from before that was done or after.  I'm still waiting for a roofer to call me back and keeping an eye on it to see if it gets better or worse.

After the original roofer first put the roof on, it leaked like a sieve right away, and he had to do something to it.  My guess is he put some goop around it, which can dry out over time and crack, hence two years later, problematic again.  Had he sealed it right to start with, that wouldn't have been necessary.  I'd had roofs on here for 36 years without it ever once leaking there!  It will undoubtedly be an ongoing problem from time to time, I'm sure.  

I know what you mean about the shoveling and plowing, that all falls to me now only I don't have a plow, I shovel it all by hand.  If it gets real bad I park up on the street and have to unbury my vehicle.  It's a lot of work and it's a wonder I haven't had a stoke doing it!

It's easy to feel overwhelmed, even with my anxiety medication.  Middle of the night is the worst for me.  I guess the point is to keep going for yourself, which is so hard without their love and encouragement.  I'm sure you notice a huge difference with him gone, even though he had physical limitations the last few years.

A huge difference. I tried my best to do the things my husband couldn't do anymore. He would get upset that he couldn't help me. If there was something mechanical or too heavy for me to do, he knew who to get ahold of to help us out. He's not here as my backup, my support system. Not here to ask him about things that come in the mail and I have to deal with on my own. These weekends are so difficult to get through. We would be together 24/7, keeping each other company and trying to enjoy some normalcy. For the past couple of years, during the week, it was doctor and lab appointments and on the weekends, we were free from that. It's been hard to get beyond the past, I wonder everyday what we'd be doing right now. I still have a hard time dealing with this reality that he is gone from me and the life we knew and enjoyed together.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

KayC---I wonder the same thing. Besides watching over me and waiting for me to join him, I'd like to think my husband is hanging out with his family and friends that are there in Heaven. From the little I've read about the afterlife, they have chores to do, soul work, helping others. I've also read, that there is no sense of time like here. When it's our turn to reunite, it'll seem like only hours compared to years here.

When my father in law from my first marriage was dying of cancer, most of the family was there at his bedside. My kids were there and I was there for them. My mother in law said he was waiting for me to show up. Even tho I divorced their son, I was still family. My father in law was talking about his younger brother, who passed in a drowning accident at a young age. He was talking about going fishing with his brother. He settled down when I got there, waiting for me, and he passed quietly.

This is why I like to think that Heaven is just a different world, not to far from here and very similar to earth. My husband loved the outdoors and the woods, so I like to picture him in that setting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I keep wishing there was a "like" button, I'm used to one from the other site.  My husband also loved nature.  I kind of wonder if they are building a home and doing some of the things they loved to do.  I too think of it as a similar place, only without the pitfalls here.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver
On 11/14/2016 at 7:57 AM, KayC said:

I keep wishing there was a "like" button, I'm used to one from the other site.  My husband also loved nature.  I kind of wonder if they are building a home and doing some of the things they loved to do.  I too think of it as a similar place, only without the pitfalls here.  

I agree with he idea of a "Like" button.  Maybe we should suggest it to the admin.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

On the day of my husband's funeral, 10/29/16, people including some of my husband's family member were telling me to move on and just date or get with another man because I'm still "young." During that time, I was in so much pain and couldn't respond. All I did was cry. But from here on out, if anyone has something ridiculous to say to me I'm just going to straight up ignore them and walk away.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I think in the beginning it catches us off guard and we don't know how to respond, but it'd definitely upsetting and totally inappropriate of them!  It's good to know how you'll respond so you're not at a loss if/when it happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am responding to this topic after posting this question, here. I posted my question precisely because I want to support my friend, whose partner unexpectedly died, in the best way possible. I want to avoid being insensitive in the way that others have been to some of you.  I'd like to know if any of you might want to provide a list of the things that helped the in the days and weeks right after the death, and the things that anyone giving support should avoid doing.  I can only imagine how hard all of your experiences have been, and I'm hoping you all can help me to help make someone else's a bit easier. Thanks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am feeling the same thing too. It's just been two weeks since he is gone and by now everyone expects me to be normal. My family, my friends. Everyone keeps telling me to let go of him, start a new phase of my life, get a job, he is gone, that he is never going to come back etc. Damn. I know all these things very well. That he is never going to come back. But it's so much easier to say. Then to feel what it really means that he is never going to come back... 

My heart sinks with this thought. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello.... I am new to this site.  I lost my husband 5 months ago... we met at 16 years of age and were married for 38 years... I do feel that I have lost half my body.   I am trying every tool available, therapy,yoga, exercise, this site. and on and on.  I trust that one day I will feel whole again.  My life has changed...but my life is not over.  Peace and prayers for all people grieving everywhere.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thank you, Reece, and welcome to this site. Sorry for the loss of your husband. I lost mine in August. I commend your attitude that your life is not over and you are making use of whatever tools you can to help yourself. This is a rough journey that we are all on-----prayers and hugs to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
12 hours ago, Sadaf Nazim said:

It's just been two weeks since he is gone and by now everyone expects me to be normal. My family, my friends. Everyone keeps telling me to let go of him, start a new phase of my life, get a job, he is gone, that he is never going to come back etc.

That's nuts!  This will take years to process, it's not as simple as realizing with your mind that he's gone, it takes so much more than just our minds to even begin to realize they're gone, let alone adjust to all of the changes that means for us!  Take your time with it, tell said people those comments are not helpful and you appreciate their well meaning but you have to grieve YOUR time and way.  I'm sorry so many people are so clueless. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.