My daughter was born sleeping (Dad)

[anondad]

After a healthy pregnancy my daughter was born sleeping in June due to a true knot in the umbilical cord. I have never felt pain like this, it only seems to get worse over time. I was coping well at first but it's all just hit me suddenly. I have hidden myself in work and keep myself busier than ever before but I was driving home last night and had to pull up because I was uncontrollably crying. This isn't like me at all. I usually wear such a brave face and have a good understanding that sometimes bad things happen. Despite myself I am in so much pain and don't want to talk to my partner about it because I know she is grieving too.

 

Anon Dad

[ldressle]

I am so sorry for your loss.  How very sad that you didn't get to see your baby after waiting months to meet your beautiful daughter.  Life is so unpredictable.  Grief has taught me this.  It is a, terrible terrible terrible loss that has happened to you.  I can only imagine how you must be feeling.  A brave face is great but you need to let yourself feel the deeper feelings that you will be experiencing for a long time.  You lost your daughter, your baby.  It is totally natural to feel immense saddness and pain.

It was very difficult for me to talk to my husband right after my son and father passed away in a tragic plane accident.  It has been 2 years 4 months and it is still difficult.  I gave myself lots of space and still find that I need lots of room to grief.

The first year was the hardest - I would find refuge in my car.  I would often cry so hard I would have to pull over to the side of the road.  This happened a few times.  I found taking a brisk walk outside to help.  The other hard thing is that everyone expects life to go on  -  get over it, move on, stop being so sad...depressed etc...

So it can be lonely, this grief thing, very lonely.  I found prayer and my connection with God helpful.