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Loss of a Teenager


katebe

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My other son is getting support from his friends. Its hard for me to know what to do for him. He misses his brother so much, they were only 18 mths apart and did everything together. It is impossible for him to sleep in his bedroom which is right next to his brothers. I wish I could help him in some way, but we are both in so much pain it is unbearable. I try to keep him surrounded by his friends and busy but I know it isn't enough. We are both pretty lost.

It sounds like you are doing everything right, and you are doing the very best you can. I can only say that for your other son, time will help lessen some of the pain, but he will always cherish the wonderful years he had with his brother.

I hope you are getting some support. Do you have family and close friends to talk to? Are you getting any sleep or are you attempting to eat healthy? I know those nutritional supplemental drinks, like Ensure, are a good thing to rely on when you are unable to force yourself to eat. How is the rest of your family coping?

We are here for you,

ModKonnie

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Nick's Mom,

I am so very sorry for your deep loss, your broken hearts. Nick does sound like a very cool Kid, a sweetie, talented and social and all the things that help a person to achieve and be loved along the way. He will always be loved. He will always love you.

Trying to be strong for Nick's siblings might not be the best thing for you right now. Letting yourselves grieve is the only way to move through the day. I don't mean to say that we should stop all normal daily functions, we still have to eat even when we don't want to, should still brush our teeth, should take vitamins and those things, but grief is what is filling you right now, all of you, and to try to push it down does more damage than good. The kids will see that you are allowing your grief so that they know that they needn't try to hold in thier grief.

I wish you peace Nick's Mom, but I know that that is far off for now, just know from those of us on the road ahead of you, that one day you will feel the sun again, you will feel some peace one day. Hang on.

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Nick's mom,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son, Nick! I offer you the saddest of welcomes to Beyond Indigo. Please come to the loss of an adult child thread. It doesn't matter how old your child was when he died. There are many of us there to help buoy you up through this most difficult, painful nightmare. I am inviting you there because I don't want you to get lost in the shuffle of other threads. Not saying that will happen...I just know it won't happen there.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

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Nick's Mother-When you click on the thread "Loss of Adult Child" and go there, at the top of the page, click on "Add Reply" and then it will give you a box to put your post in. I'm so sorry for your loss of Nick. He sounds like an amazing boy. My son Westley died January 13, 2010. I've been here since July and all the people on the board have been very helpful to me since I found them. I think that around that six month mark, it really started to hit me how this horrible thing was permanent and I was going to have to find a way to cope with my loss. Not that you don't know it now, but there is a certain amount of numbness at first, even if you don't realize it, at least there was for me. I knew from the moment they told me he was gone in my mind, but my heart wants so badly to hold on to him, just like you want to hold on to Nick. I don't have much advice other than that it helps to talk to those who have been where you are, and sadly, we have all been there. Peace to you friend,

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Nick's mom, there are ove 26,000 replies on loss of an adult child...it was begun by "momof justin"....And, then follow Rhonda's instructions and hit "add reply" (the blue box in the middle on the upper right corner - above the emoticons)

We would all love to hear more about your son as you are able to tell us. Tell a lot or tell a little or don't say anything at all. Of course, you can stay on the thread you created, too....people will respond, but you are pretty much guaranteed not to get lost in the shuffle on the adult child thread.

We all understand where you are coming from. We all understand the nightmare you find yourself living in. This horrible nightmare does get easier......but, it takes time and support. You don't have to walk this path alone. We are all here for you!! We will hold your hand and listen while you cry. We will never tire of hearing your son's beautiful name. Nick!!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

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