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Loss of a parent - daily thread

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nuvar
2 hours ago, tessa said:

Hello All,
I lost my uncle 2 days ago. He lived a long life. He was 100. But still, it's a lonely place now.
My parent's generation are all gone. Like Reader, I wish we could go back in time.
I don't know how I am going to get through my remaining time with so many gone. There's no one to talk to anymore.
Everyday is groundhog day. I just do like a robot. I try and think of ways to start a new life but I can't think of anything.
I want them back but that is not about to happen.

hi Tessa, my condolences. You, together with many others have been my online support when I was down and I hope to be the same to you whenever and if I can, to be of any help

When my aunt passed, my mum cried saying something similar - they came from China and were first gen Singaporeans and she was awfully sad that she's the last in her family.

Now she's gone I feel totally lost as well. Yea, everyday is just groundhog day for me going through motions. And my dad's problems, work problems, financial problems...... i dont even know where and when to start really

Somehow, we need to pick up the pieces and get to know more people, find something new and perhaps something to take our attention away from grief, sadness and monotony. Perhaps find a cause or someone worth helping.

Let us try not to dwell too often and push ourselves to pick up the pieces no matter how hard it can be. 

*thinking of everyone in here and wishing everyone well. 

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Derek 1979

I lost my father a few months ago. Its weird because I am a grown man in my 40's but when my dad died, the little boy I once was re-emerged and I felt like a sad ,lonely, and  scared little kid during the first day of kindergarten. Fortunately, I am doing better  now but my goodness it hurts so bad losing a loved one. I still cry at least once a week thinking about my dad but the good thing is I have begun to smile and laugh once again. 

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Navdeep

My dad died suddenly on 9 April, 2019 due to cardiac arrest. I was so sudden and massive that the moment i reached his room he was gone, just in 5 seconds. Its going to be month that he's gone. but, still i can not believe he is no more. He was my life, my lifeline, my first love, my last love and everything in this world to me. I saw all his last rites being done, but just can't comprehend that he is not going to come back. I feel like he is ok, he is at home, like nothing has happened in our home like that.

O god, you took him away. Why you did this? You know how much he loved me, how much i loved him, then, how can you take him away from me. Please dad, i am dying without you. Please send us a message by anyway that you are okay. I really miss u. You are and will always remain my lifeline. No one can fill the crater you left behind in my heart. I am really sorry that i never made you feel proud when you were alive. 

I wish you are all fine and happy wherever you are. You are always alive in my heart.

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reader

Dear Tessa,

I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle. Even when our loves ones make it to 100 when think why not 110. I see that too. The loss of my grandmother and then my father and now I only his two sisters are left. I know its a fact of life but so hard. Thinking of you.

Dear Derek and Navdeep,

Sorry for the loss of your beloved fathers. They were lucky to have such loving and caring sons. Please know you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings during this sad time. I don't think any of us are ready for that day to lose our parents. I had one lady in her 70s in my grief group mourn her mother deeply.

Take care my friends. Sending my thoughts and prayers.

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reader

Thinking of you all on this Mother's Day.

 

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tessa

Thanks Reader. There's no more mothers' day or fathers day for many of us :(
I went to my uncle's funeral the other day. The pastor said some words that I found comforting. He said death was like going home after a long, hard journey. They've fought the battles, gone through the struggles and now they are resting peacefully at home.
But it's the ones who are left behind, it's the loneliness. We miss them all so much

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reader

Dear Tessa,

I hear where you are coming from. It is hard. But for me, I still see Mother's Day and Father's Day as a way to honor our parents. I normally go to my father's gravesite to bring him flowers and a cup of coffee. I know its not the same, but these rituals are all I have now.

Thank you for your kind words from the pastor. We all have to find comfort where we can.

Since my dad passed the silence has been deafening. It's been so hard and there are still days where I struggle. I don't know when I will be able to come to terms with what happened.

I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. Thinking of you.

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reader

Dear Friends,

I cannot believe another week has flown by and here it is again Monday.

With Father's Day coming up in June, I keep thinking what I can do to honor my dad.

Thinking of you all.

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nuvar
11 hours ago, reader said:

Dear Friends,

I cannot believe another week has flown by and here it is again Monday.

With Father's Day coming up in June, I keep thinking what I can do to honor my dad.

Thinking of you all.

i dont know too, my dad is a shell of his former self (demented) and now im planning for his nursing home care. having problems with clearing up his pee at night.

in your case, perhaps plant something or donate something in his name? what were his hobbies?

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reader

Sorry to hear about your dad, Nuvar. I know caring for an elderly parent alone is very hard. I hope you can get the care your dad deserves.

Thank you for your suggestions. I will be taking flowers to my dad and bringing him a coffee. Maybe I will look for something to plant in the garden as well.

 

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