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sudden death of brother


Paulina36

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I am very sorry about the loss of your brother. I lost my brother years ago suddenly, in a car accident. It was two days before Christmas. We were all in shock and devastated. 

 

What feelings are you feeling? If it has only been a short while, you are probably still reeling, like everything is in slow motion, and perhaps even a weird fog, like a surreal nightmare. 

 

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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I would like to talk with someone who has lost a Brother or sister suddenly and about the feelings related to that. I lost my Brother for brain aneyrysm.

 

I lost my brother 2 days before christmas 2014. I am still struggling and although many say with time it gets better? truth is for me its not! I miss him so much and find life a struggle now. I feel completely alone and yet I have two sisters and a mother but still i wish my best friend and my brother was my life.

 

For the first few weeks I felt numb and could not accept it and tryed to stay strong for my family. even at the time of his death when it came time to withdraw life support it was surreal, like a strange haze i was in. My brother was on life support for 4 days and his passing was sudden to us, we did not expect it. Although my family seemed to have done well at accepting and moving on I am left feeling cold and alone.

 

I cant explain the loneliness its difficult to put it to words, but, day after day I feel no better and the time moves slowly for me. the endless days of missing him are just slowly wearing me down.

 

daily I may smile, talk and pass the time of day, but, inside I am dead and the sorrow sits on my brain like a blanket clouding my reasoning and making each day a task just to do the simplist things.

 

Truth be told I am heartbroken! I dont know what to do and how to stop this feeling. I feel that I have given in on life now and for my family's sake I will just live its day to day drudgery. I will do my best for them but I really don't want it anymore the thought of seeing the rest of this life without my bro is a dagger in my heart!

 

Everywhere I go i see Billy, my little brother, places, memories and times we shared, I sit in his seat at my mums and see his guitar standing there lonely in the corner and my heart just aches. I can't describe this pain. I have loved and lost before but nothing in my life compares to the feeling I have now.

 

Life has taken its toll on me and this was the last straw, I feel it stabbed me in the heart and smiled while it turned the knife. before this I thought as a family we had come through so much and because of that we where strong and learned from it but, no, nothing could have ever prepared me for this.

 

I guess what I wanted to say was words of wisdom and something comforting but ubfortunately I have nothing that can numb that pain and ease that burdon except to share what I feel so others whom feel like me know they are not the only ones to feel this and in that maybe there is a solice that we are truly not alone and that there are others, whom share the ubderstanding, anguish, loneliness and pain of loss.

 

I hope that in time I will live again i really don't know but all I know is tomorrow is going to be the same as today and just another day to add to this endless pain and longing.

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Hi Paulj,

My younger sister died at the beginning of February and I can completely relate to how you feel.

All her belongings are still lying about the family home and it's impossible to imagine that she'll never touch them again.

Sleep is the only solace for me (not that I sleep well) and then all too soon I have to wake up again and face yet another day in my new fake life. I go through the motions of showering, eating breakfast, going to work, but there is no joy or smiles or pleasure in anything. I can't concentrate and I'm in a bubble where I can see my old life but I can't access it anymore.

People at work and friends are supportive for a while but now I know they get bored or want to avoid asking about my sister because they never get a positive answer, just an honest one which makes them uncomfortable.

I'm in such anguish and feel so miserable and lost. It's sunny weather today and instead of enjoying it like I used to I just think "Francesca will never see a sunny day again". It tears me up. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy again. We were best friends and would speak to each other every day. I just don't have that bond and love with anyone else. Even when I get used to this (which I can't imagine being possible but I guess is that happens) I know everything will be tinged with sadness because my sister is dead. It's so, so difficult to process and accept.

All we can do is keep going, because we don't have a choice.

Xx

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It made me tear up to read your post because I remember all too well the first weeks and months after my brother died suddenly from a heroin overdose. The pain in that initial stage is overpowering and unbearable. It has now been almost 14 months since my brother died. I just said yesterday to my friend, I still can't believe that he's really gone. I think about him and miss him and feel sad every single day. But some days are better than others. The pain that plagued me in the beginning has lifted. Yes, it still hurts every day, but I am able to smile through my tears and to focus on my work and all the good, amazing things in my life. I can look at his picture and talk to him and I dream of him. Some times it becomes too much and I sob my heart out and I want to scream. But that's ok.

What I'm trying to say is...the pain does not go away but it gets EASIER. You learn to live with the sadness. That sounds painful in itself, but our siblings were such a vital part of out lives, of course the pain is not going to disappear! Their memory will live on in your heart until your dying breath when you are reunited.

Just breathe. Cry, write a letter, talk about the good times, look at pictures and allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel. And then have a bubble bath and listen to relaxing music, do something lovely to pamper yourself and make yourself feel better. You have been through so much already, you need to take such good care of yourself right now.

I am here if you want to talk or vent. Take care. I'm thinking of you xoxo

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Hi Kellie86 I found your post really inspiring, thank you.

We haven't even had a funeral for my sister yet (she died in China and they are taking forever to send her back). Until then I feel like I'm in some sort of suspended reality; I was in utter despair for the first 4 weeks but these last 2 weeks I've almost 'switched off' from this, and I know a big part of me is just hoping she's still off in China having a lovely time. There's no hope of moving forward until we have a funeral. Not that I want one because I don't want this to be real. But thank you for your post- it was nice to read and offers hope in what feels like a hopeless situation xx

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Paulina36

I am very sorry for your loss, I as well have just recently lost my older brother (he was 34 years old) I lost my brother to complications during/following a seizure (SUDEP) I wish I could help you with regards to the feelings,the pain the confusion the surreal moments that just don't seem possible. I am still working through this unimaginable hurdle that life has placed in front of me, some days are better then others but I have yet to experience a solid good day and I ask myself if or when will one come my way. I wish i could say "I know what your going through" but I don't, everyones situation is so different, but I have similarities and I do feel for you. Im so sorry

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Hello. 
 

I lost my brother 2 weeks ago. I have been reading everyones posts on this website and I’m so scared for what the future has to offer. My brother died suddenly and it has forever changed our entire family. Even as I am writing now I still have that hope in the back of my head that this just a nightmare and I’m going to wake up. My family has always been very lucky with no exposures to close family deaths till this nightmare has occurred. Sometimes I feel the pain of watching my parents struggle is more heart wrenching then anything. Until the guilt of being angry at my brother for leaving us like this kicks in that for me has been unbearable. I have never in my life been so mad and so heartbroken at the exact same moment. I miss him so much but I’m so mad at the devastation, the hurt and all the missed experiences that we will never get to share. This has changed my entire way of thinking and my view on the world. Even the feeling of empathy that I have for other people has completely changed once you really experience how fragile life is and how precious time really is. This is something you really don’t know till you love someone completely and you run out of this. That no money or convincing will let you have back any of that time. 
 

i only have one question how has anyone’s parents dealt with the loss of your sibling. I am terrified for my mother and constantly worried she will not make it through this. 
 

so sorry to go on for so long. 

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18 hours ago, Sarahleg said:

Hello. 
 

I lost my brother 2 weeks ago. I have been reading everyones posts on this website and I’m so scared for what the future has to offer. My brother died suddenly and it has forever changed our entire family. Even as I am writing now I still have that hope in the back of my head that this just a nightmare and I’m going to wake up. My family has always been very lucky with no exposures to close family deaths till this nightmare has occurred. Sometimes I feel the pain of watching my parents struggle is more heart wrenching then anything. Until the guilt of being angry at my brother for leaving us like this kicks in that for me has been unbearable. I have never in my life been so mad and so heartbroken at the exact same moment. I miss him so much but I’m so mad at the devastation, the hurt and all the missed experiences that we will never get to share. This has changed my entire way of thinking and my view on the world. Even the feeling of empathy that I have for other people has completely changed once you really experience how fragile life is and how precious time really is. This is something you really don’t know till you love someone completely and you run out of this. That no money or convincing will let you have back any of that time. 
 

i only have one question how has anyone’s parents dealt with the loss of your sibling. I am terrified for my mother and constantly worried she will not make it through this. 
 

so sorry to go on for so long.

Hi Sarah, 

My brother passed away 6 weeks ago. My mom is doing terribly, and I’m taking care of her most of the time. I am trying to get her professional help, but in covid times, everyone seems to be booked. She has struggled with addictions for a long time, but with my brothers passing her suicidal thoughts and drinking in particular have increased dramatically. I’m not often able to grieve myself. 
When I do though, I also am very mad and upset about all of the future plans my brother and I had together. I feel completely alone and like I don’t have a family anymore. My brother also changed all my views on the world. He was the kindness person I know and I hope I learned enough from his sweet heart to be someone he’d be proud of. I am humbled by the fragility of life and feel somehow closer to the human condition. 
I’m educating myself as best I can to assist my mom and gather local resources and services to help her too. I’m terrified for my mother too. 

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Honestly it is the worst feeling in the world. When your hiding in a room and quickly have to cover your tears to make sure that they don’t see you upset. Or your trying to hide away little reminders so they are not triggered as well. I’m so sorry for your loss. 

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I just lost my brother 2 days before Christmas.  In the midst of COVID, it is devastating.  My family are strong in our faith.  We spent a lovely day with him, and he cooked dinner - red Chile enchiladas.  The next morning he died suddenly from a heart attack at the age of 43.  I find solace because I know that heaven is real, and my brother is certainly there.  

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I lost my brother Nov 18th 2019... He was taken from us in a way we never thought. He was murdered.

The death of a loved one is the hardest thing ever.

All the regrets come to surface. It doesn’t help either when people tell you not to have those feelings of regret. Even if an ever so small part of you knows what they are saying is true.

In death all the things big and small come to surface. Things that you could of done different, better, shouldn’t of done, should of said, shouldn’t of said, more I love yous, and/or less time spent apart.

The dreams of them start to hurt. Because it’s fleeting moments of them but you don’t physically have them with you. They look the same and sound the same. But that hug isn’t real, the smell they had isn’t there, and that kiss on your head you don’t feel. You wake up at 3am in silent tears to make sure not to wake anyone. Your chest empty, trying to catch your breath, eyes opening and closing so fast to chase the tears away.

People tell you it gets easier but when? The saying “they would want you to live for them” or “you have to stay here cause that’s what they’d want” starts to annoy you and burden you. Yes it’s true, but the why sets it....WHY am I here carrying this feeling that’s indescribable!? WHY do I HAVE to carry on living?! WHY can’t we change places?! WHY are they gone?! WHY WHY WHY.... so many why’s.

Then the hows creep in to keep the whys company... HOW am going to live on!? HOW am I supposed to push the regrets aside?? HOW do I make it through milestone moments without them?? HOW HOW HOW... so many how’s.

But you push through every day not saying anything... smiling... even joking... just doing this to get by. You start to not talk about it much anymore because it’s a broken record. You don’t even talk to the ones closest to you because you’re too depressed, too tired from restless nights, and mentally drained from the constant days of pushing.


Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

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Hi Rachel -

My brother died 2 days before Christmas.  Completely unexpected.  We are grappling with this and leaning heavily in our belief in God.  We also joined a recent grief group through a local division of Compassionate Friends.  I am learning that connecting with others who have felt loss is important.  It is important to work through the emotions, and everyone grieves differently.  If you want any Christian resources, I know of some great books - if you are interested.  Many blessings.  Thinking of you. 

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hi my brother passed away from bowel cancer aged 44 may 2019, its been the toughest time for myself and and family as he was a massive character  , my brother and I had a deep bond, and now  I feel completely lost with out him, its  affecting my relationship , with my partner ,children and my other siblings I  feel myself drifting away at times and wishing I could be with him,  I Just feel that  I Should be further ahead like my other siblings getting on with life but my brother was everything to me , and I just don't feel that with anyone else , that makes me feel like  bad sister. selfish in my own grief .

I'm in the process of grief counselling for a second time , but i just cant seem to get out of this black hole , because i miss him soo much my heart just feels crushed.

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Nataliedand

Hello my name is natalie 

I love my big brother 35-

min a car accident just 6 days after his birthday . So many angles I look at it I feel I could have done. Something..  I wish I would have stayed In town . He spent his birthday with me getting me away from my crazy threatening ex and he helped me get a car he picked my red Ford Fusion out . I miss him so much his laugh his habit brown eyes . He was so tired that night driving home from work and he was 10 mins away from home . He was going 100mph ( he really drove like a old man ).   And he hit the back of a big rig and his steering wheel went through his chest .  2am in the morn . I was on a adventure getting away from my life going across the country with no contact with anyone except for him just my brother . Me at 19 with my 3 year old on the ride across the country alone he was all I trusted all I had ... and I still don’t know how to handle the pain . I stay strong around my mom . Her an I re built a relationship after the situation.  I have no one to talk about this with .. my cousin tell me memories  but doesn’t feel comfortable talk or hearing about the pain.. my niece .. well she doesn’t even talk to me it breaks my heart.. wish I knew how to attract her attention.. my sister doesn’t let me talk about it to her and my mom is just to painful to see her pain .. I’ll just listen when she needs to talk but I can’t pull it out of my ass to talk I miss my big brother ... we once were in the mall and he wa spooking for a ring for his girlfriend and when we walked in the lady said “wonderful u ground ur wife to help u choose what she likes “ and we looked at each other and started rollling!!!!    The time he left was the time I had NO one and I reacently got back with that ex he feels to good to be true and I wish I had my brother to help and guid me or even give me advice ... because I still currently Ann so isolated .. my gut tells me one thing than another I’m a fucking mess.. and the same time constantly trying to organize my self

Point is it’s been a year time doesn’t help this pain never goes away u just learn how to hide it better 

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My brother died of suicide on April 25, 2021. My heart has been shattered ever since. I feel like a part of me died too that day. I lost my sister around that time last year. I thought that I could handle it but sometimes I feel like I can’t. It’s unbearable. sometimes I feel like my heart is going to come out of my chest. That’s how painful it has been. I feel so guilty. I feel like I should’ve seen it coming. He talked me out of mine. He was my bigger supporter and he always protected me and my siblings. It hurts  because he was suffering too and he probably felt alone. I miss him so much. I wished that I could talk to him one more time. I wished that he understood how much he meant to me. His passing has made me questioning my whole existence. My whole purpose on this earth. I’m afraid of the unknown. His passing has made me thinking about my own passing. The thought of not existing anymore. Just being gone one day. We kept each other going and I feel all alone. We understood each other. I am grateful for my family and my other siblings. However I just miss him so much 

 

 

 

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Hello Loren,

my name is Ina. I am very sorry for your loss. Your post made me tear up. I totally understand you and I know what you are going through.

I lost my brother in a motorcycle accident on May 8, 2021. He was only 26 years old (10 years older than me). That day my life completely changed. When my parents told me about the accident I didn't believe them at first. I just couldn't. I thought that this couldn't happen to me and my familiy. I was devastated. As the days went by I still wasn't quite aware of reality. Now I am slowly realising that my brother is gone. All that is left are memories. I really wish I could see him one last time. I miss him so so much.

It really hurts me that people treat me like everything is fine. At first they showed some empathy when I told them about the accident. But in the next days they treated me as if nothing has happened. Honestly they don't care. Because this didn't happened to them. I realised how selfish people are, they don't care about nothing but themselves. I don't expect them to comfort me and be with me all the time. But I was expecting at least some "How are you?" question from my classmates. Also teachers expect me to be just as succesfull as before but I can't handle so much stress anymore. They act like they are not aware that my life has changed forever since I lost my brother. I think about him every day and the feeling of lonelines is just unbearable. I wish I could talk to my brother one last time.

From that day on I feel like I am slowly dying on the inside. Most of the time I don't see the lights at the end of a tunnel. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with grief?

 

To all of you who are going to similar problems as me, know that you are not alone and even though life is horrible at the moment it will probably get easier.

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Annabelloola
On 3/19/2015 at 8:37 PM, Kellie86 said:

It made me tear up to read your post because I remember all too well the first weeks and months after my brother died suddenly from a heroin overdose. The pain in that initial stage is overpowering and unbearable. It has now been almost 14 months since my brother died. I just said yesterday to my friend, I still can't believe that he's really gone. I think about him and miss him and feel sad every single day. But some days are better than others. The pain that plagued me in the beginning has lifted. Yes, it still hurts every day, but I am able to smile through my tears and to focus on my work and all the good, amazing things in my life. I can look at his picture and talk to him and I dream of him. Some times it becomes too much and I sob my heart out and I want to scream. But that's ok.

What I'm trying to say is...the pain does not go away but it gets EASIER. You learn to live with the sadness. That sounds painful in itself, but our siblings were such a vital part of out lives, of course the pain is not going to disappear! Their memory will live on in your heart until your dying breath when you are reunited.

Just breathe. Cry, write a letter, talk about the good times, look at pictures and allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel. And then have a bubble bath and listen to relaxing music, do something lovely to pamper yourself and make yourself feel better. You have been through so much already, you need to take such good care of yourself right now.

I am here if you want to talk or vent. Take care. I'm thinking of you xoxo

I lost my 18 year old brother to an overdose 6 months ago and the grief is still fresh. Im 15 but our mother was neglective and I was practically raised by my brother. We were so incredibly close. Not only was he my brother, but he was also my parent, my soul mate and best friend. He passed on Christmas Eve and I still don’t know if it was an intentional overdose or not. The coroner who handled the funeral wants to talk with me about his life to try and give an answer about whether or not his death was suicide or accident but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it. I want to know for sure to get some closure but the only way anyone will know is if I talk with the coroner. My mother is mentally ill and missed half his life being asleep. He wasn’t on speaking terms with our dad, who we saw irregularly since our mother stopped him from seeing us, even though he tried his best. My brother had no friends and he missed two years of his highschool education ages 11 - 13/14 (this is England). Our mother wasn’t on speaking terms with her twin sister who bullied her as a child and who we never met, and we didn’t know our cousins on her side. Her parents passed away before we were born since she had me at 44 and my brother at 41. Our aunts uncles and cousins on our dads side didn’t see us regularly either and our grandparents on our dads side were also passed away. I’m the only one who could give an account of his life and I think I owe this to him and to my dad and maybe my mother. If anyone could offer some encouragement that would be a great help. Thank you everyone, I don’t feel so alone here. x

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Marissa84

My condolences to all of you. I feel the same sadness and pain from loss. I found this post when I was seeking some sort of therapy group specifically for the sudden loss of a brother. As I read through the comments, I've felt and experienced pretty much all the same stuff as all of you. I'm seeing a therapist right now, but I told her I really needed to "be around" people who know what it's like to specifically lose a brother or sister in a sudden, unexpected way. Because the loss is tremendously tragic, even though that's not to diminish other types of losses. It's just..different.

My brother was shot and killed in February 2021. He was addicted to meth since 2017 after dealing with multiple losses of his own (divorce, his best friend's suicide, our mom's death). In his despair, he started meeting so-called friends by going to bars and they introduced him to meth. He had a great job, gorgeous home, and an exceptionally wonderful adult son. He did everything right all his life, graduated from UCLA, managed his money well, and was extremely kind and generous with friends, family, and even strangers. And that's how his trouble started. He started taking in down-on-their-luck "friends".

Turns out, some of them were drug dealers and eventually my brother was arrested with them in June 2017. Our whole family did everything we could over the years and offered whatever it would take to help him get his life back on track. He refused all help but promised us he would work hard his own way in order to get his life back. The homicide detectives told us my brother was shot in cold blood, according to witnesses. My brother, who wasn't armed, didn't provoke the killer. There was a dispute about some meth and the killer suddenly pulled a gun and shot my brother in the chest. And now my family has to still endure the murder trial.

I haven't even told any friends what happened to my brother. There's no way any of them can relate or really understand this type of grief. There's so many issues surrounding my loss: the violent way he was killed and the criminal circumstances with the drugs (I don't want him to be judged).

I miss my brother so much. He knew very well that we all loved him. I wish he didn't die in such a violent, tragic way, and all alone because as soon as the shooting started, everyone around him fled. I wish I could've done more to keep him safe, even though I know I did everything I could. I occasionally briefly dream about him stopping by to say "hi". Love transcends death. He told me in a dream that he can feel when my family sends out our love to him.

Thank you for reading. Writing this out has helped me, even though I'm sobbing through it. Keep sending love to siblings you've lost.

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I’m so sorry to each and everyone of you but I know that offers no relief. 
My brother was a recovering addict and was killed in a car accident May 16th 2019 and was 43. His 3rd daughter and 5th child was born in April, just 6 weeks before his death. 

He had been in jail for trafficking drugs. He was begged by a friend to go and pick up some drugs for him and it turned out to be a set up to get his “friend” out of trouble. This turned out to be good because he was clean for the first time since we lost our Mother to cancer when she was 47. (He also lost his wife (high school sweetheart)to his best friend 2 years later). The “ friend “ that set up, my brother forgave him and this same “friend” was driving the car when they ran a stop sign and they were t-boned and both died on the scene. 
His son who was 8 at the time was on his school bus and went passed the accident. I still cannot imagine but he has been so strong! 
I will never forget that phone call. I was just texting his wife because they live in Ohio and I’m in Tennessee and they were supposed to come to our house that night to help get my small shop open that next day. 
I sat down to do some work for my job (I worked from home) and my sister in law called me I remember screaming at her and calling her a liar. I was unable to understand how that could be true, the night before when I called he was asleep on the floor with his baby. 
He was so loving and forgiving. I miss him so much! My birthday was in August and he never missed it…it hurts so bad. My youngest thought the world of him, even when he was struggling she never wavered in her love for him. She almost failed out of school but she has now graduated but the damage was done and due to my grief I wasn’t able to see until it was too late. 
Our dad looked at me while we were burying him and said your mother needed him, he had to go. I can’t wrap a bow around it like that and I know you all here have had a loss but I still feel like I will never get passed this. 
I miss him everyday. I think about him all the time. It was like I just came to terms with my mother and then lost my brother. I wish I could trade him places because my life is empty now. I took care of him,not well obviously through his addiction. The only person besides my father and his wife and their son (his other 3 kids didn’t speak to him) that stood by him in jail and recovery. My kids are grown and he should be here. Nobody can convince me differently that it should have been me and not him. His daughter, my mothers name sake will never know her father.  I hate that and it sucks!  
I thought this might have helped but nothing does. I just want my brother back!!
 

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Hi there, brand new here. I Just lost my younger brother suddenly in this last months too, to an unknown cause. We were very, very close.
We are still waiting for the cause of death. The suddenness of this news along with not knowing how or why he died is so overwhelming. Personally, I am covered up with sadness, and so many rapid thoughts.
I am also finding it hard to talk with my mother because she is riddled with guilt and grief too. She has been blowing me off and rushing me off the phone every time I call her too. So I don’t get the feeling she is available for me at all now. 
My older brother and I have never been that close at all, although we are trying now. Sadly, he has a chronic illness and has had to go for treatments, so he too is not available to talk to me. I am currently between jobs (stupid covid). Most of my close friends are at work during the day, so I cannot call on them until evening. I have a great deal of trouble falling asleep as well, and the list goes on and on.

 I am feeling so empty and alone, and I am feeling way too much. 
 

i just don’t know where else to turn. I have a therapist, and I meet with her every week, but obviously I cannot call her every afternoon or in the middle of the night when I am overwhelmed with grief and emotional anxiety or just deeply devestated.

 I don’t know how to go on…:sad:

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On 3/10/2015 at 11:51 PM, paulj said:

 

I lost my brother 2 days before christmas 2014. I am still struggling and although many say with time it gets better? truth is for me its not! I miss him so much and find life a struggle now. I feel completely alone and yet I have two sisters and a mother but still i wish my best friend and my brother was my life.

 

For the first few weeks I felt numb and could not accept it and tryed to stay strong for my family. even at the time of his death when it came time to withdraw life support it was surreal, like a strange haze i was in. My brother was on life support for 4 days and his passing was sudden to us, we did not expect it. Although my family seemed to have done well at accepting and moving on I am left feeling cold and alone.

 

I cant explain the loneliness its difficult to put it to words, but, day after day I feel no better and the time moves slowly for me. the endless days of missing him are just slowly wearing me down.

 

daily I may smile, talk and pass the time of day, but, inside I am dead and the sorrow sits on my brain like a blanket clouding my reasoning and making each day a task just to do the simplist things.

 

Truth be told I am heartbroken! I dont know what to do and how to stop this feeling. I feel that I have given in on life now and for my family's sake I will just live its day to day drudgery. I will do my best for them but I really don't want it anymore the thought of seeing the rest of this life without my bro is a dagger in my heart!

 

Everywhere I go i see Billy, my little brother, places, memories and times we shared, I sit in his seat at my mums and see his guitar standing there lonely in the corner and my heart just aches. I can't describe this pain. I have loved and lost before but nothing in my life compares to the feeling I have now.

 

Life has taken its toll on me and this was the last straw, I feel it stabbed me in the heart and smiled while it turned the knife. before this I thought as a family we had come through so much and because of that we where strong and learned from it but, no, nothing could have ever prepared me for this.

 

I guess what I wanted to say was words of wisdom and something comforting but ubfortunately I have nothing that can numb that pain and ease that burdon except to share what I feel so others whom feel like me know they are not the only ones to feel this and in that maybe there is a solice that we are truly not alone and that there are others, whom share the ubderstanding, anguish, loneliness and pain of loss.

 

I hope that in time I will live again i really don't know but all I know is tomorrow is going to be the same as today and just another day to add to this endless pain and longing.

 

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I sooo know how you feel. My brother passed just a moth ago suddenly. He had many trials and a rough road, as much of our family did, most of our lives. I choose not to sit and feel sorry for myself because life has been hard. The lessons have taught me much. I try to use them to be helpful to others…if I can, instead.

But right now, as I just returned from the funeral services for my brother, who was my best friend (other than my loving husband), I just feel disconnected and alone. My mother is pushing me away and my older brother is doing as he always does and keeping me out of his reach. So no matter how much I really need their support and just to hear their voices, they are flatly not available to me. So I feel very alone. Just what I need on top of all this grief, sadness and the endless emotional rollercoaster. It’s one more disappointment and painful thing to add to this sense of emptiness that is all over me right now.

My wonderful Younger brother was the kindest, gentlest soul. We used to write letters and talk on the phone frequently. We lived together several times, and did so many things to give each other support and encouragement. He was my go to guy when I needed that love and hope that no one else could give. I don’t know how to go forward from here.

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I’m sorry to hear you going through this because I understand and I can say even though you feel alone you are not! I’m also going to tell you it doesn’t get better, it gets different and important to allow things to be different because that’s what helps you get through. 
It has been over 2 years but I found myself a couple weeks ago yelling at my brother, my mother and even God. Just being mad, sad and so lonely. Now I keep dreaming of my mom and I feel like she’s trying to help me but I can’t replace my best friend (yes my husband is also my best friend but your sibling is truly you life long best friend) it sucks and it is okay to feel like it sucks and just remember NO ONE can tell you how long it can or cannot suck for! I’m between jobs too and I think it makes it a lot harder, too much time to think but also time to reflect and heal ❤️

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BiancaB01

Today marks six months since the passing of my older brother, who was 33 when he very suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. It would have been his 34th birthday on September 15 and I found the day so incredibly difficult. I feel like I was recovering well over the past couple of months, but I have found the past few weeks impossibly hard and feel like I'm moving backwards again. I accept that he's left us but I cant quite believe that I won't ever see him or speak to him again, and I feel so much injustice in my new situation as an only child, having had my only sibling taken away from me. I don't know what to do in order to start moving forward again, so any advice from anyone who has been in similar situation would be really appreciated.

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Isabell r

I’m sorry for your loss. 
 I recently lost my older brother it’s been a very hard pill to swallow. He was found decomposed in an abandoned house and we don’t know what happened to him. At first the detective was saying there was no foul play and it’s just overdose now they changed it to suspected foul play. It’s taken a toll on me knowing he’s been there for god knows how many days and we are getting minimal detail. He saw multiple people before this incident and a lot of people are involved but won’t speak I feel so alone. He told me multiple times he was gonna die and I didn’t believe him I have so much guilt. I could’ve been there for him more but since he was on meth I assumed he was just paranoid. I stayed on the phone with him for hours but the month leading up to this I pushed him away then the last messaged I received from him was a message saying he got hacked and he has papers to prove it. I’m all over the place it’s really messing me up mentally I don’t wanna believe it’s true. My brother was only 23 and I’m 20 so we were really close.

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