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Grief and the Court System


avc2003

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Chels1003...I am thinking of you today.

I didn't feel as though you were monopolizing in any way shape or form, no going overboard either. That is what this forum is for, so we have an outlet to our thoughts, concerns and grief and anger. Vent all you want.

I go through fazes, I will participate in the forum regularily and other times I just don't feel as though I have anything worthy to write. I always read it, but I don't always write and it has nothing to do with what others post, it just has to do with me and if I feel that I can write something worth posting.

As for your trial date...my only concern is that you don't set your hopes on it happening for sure that date...as we have had a date set 3 times I believe and it keeps getting pushed out. Ours is now set for May of '07 and I just heard that that date will probably not happen, we are probably looking at '08 sometime. The accident was in Sept of '03, so it can drag out depending on who you are up against.

One of my big concerns with posting here is that the people you are up against can use whatever we write against us...so everyone, please be very careful about what you post...The reason I say this is due to some very specific reasons, the opposing side will always try to find something to use against you.

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Thanks for your support guys.

We did have a good day on Kris' birthday. We all took the day off, me, hubby and kids to just hang out and do things togehter as a family. It felt really good. I think it's the days following for me that are hardest.

I know what you mean about posting. I guess I feel it hasn't been getting me anywhere rehasing how angry I am.

I'm hoping my trial date stands. I was told the judge would not adjurn at all from the date set. But I guess I wouldn't want to hold my breath knowing what you have already dealt with.

I do and have worried about the things that are posted here by all of us. I've asked my lawyer, I was told not to worry. I wasn't given any reasons why I shouldn't. I simply assume, and it's at my own cost, it isn't going to change the facts. I suppose so long as I'm not waving huge banners with a bullhorn stating names and locations, which I would love to do. I'm angry, upset and hurt. If anyone wants to use it against me, I suppose they're protected under the first amendment right of free speech to do so. As am I. Let them go for it. I don't mean that lightheartedly. I could have set myself on fire before Kristian's diagnosis...she was sick and fighting without knowing what her enemy was. They didn't bat an eyelash over it. Say the wrong thing now, they're all ears. They're all interested not only in what I have to say, but everyone else as well. How appropriate. All I can say is I wish they had paid as much attention then as they are now.

Allyson, I hope you are kind to yourself tomorrow. I made it a point to remember all the things I knew Kristian would have liked instead of how I wanted to truly feel. She loved spending time as a family and I know that is the only thing she would have wanted us to do.

I know you are just as angry as I am at medical errors. I watched something last night that floored me. This woman lost her 2 year old daughter due to medical error at John Hopkins Hospital. They apologized to her right away and admitted they were at fault. She told them she appreciated them coming to her but was getting a lawyer anyhow to find out what happened and why. She looked anguished, infuriated when she talked of how they offered to settle. Eventually they did, but she took some of that money and is now working with John Hopkins to devise new standards of practice to prevent those mistakes from happening ever again? let's be realistic, or less often. I wish her the best of luck. She's going to need that and a great deal more. I'm thinking this mom is a bigger person than I could ever be. I can't imagine myself even fathoming such a thing. NOt after the things said to me. In front of Kris. Words burned into my brain I cannot forget if I tried.

It was interesting, for lack of an appropriate word to describe how I felt, hearing John Hopkins, one of the most respected hospitals in the nation, admitting on tv that more people lose their lives to medical error every year than cancer, heart disease, drunk driving or any of the leading diseases out there. http://www.josieking.org/ is the link to follow if you're interested in more of what I saw last night.

I am still angry. That will never change. I feel it's important to pass along this link from another mom sharing in the same grief we are. Who is no less angry than we are yet is trying to turn things around for other families. It's the least I can do.

Take care all.

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Chels---Thank-you for all the kind and helpful information. I will check on the John Hopkins story, but not today...I am just going to push through the day.I spent half the night reading three new depos., that came in mail and e-mailing my attorney, because there were so many things that were bizarre, or just led me to ponder a hundred other things, so I am running on empty. I am going to try and get to Will's today, but I doubt I can stand it. I took some potted flowers out the other day, for the fear I would not be able to take it today--and I think I was right. It is all so unfair, and I am so sad, and mad, and just plain exhausted. What I would give to have all of this be a really bad, long dream and just wake up and things be the way they are suppose to be---I better shut-up or I will just go on and on, and make myself even more crazy. WillsMom~~Allyson...again, thanks--I appreciate you and your kindness.

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Chels and Denise:

After all my questions with the depos., I read. My attorney called and reassured me. I also found out mediation is Nov. 27th....I need help here. I need to know what to expect, and basically the low-down on ALL of it...I am at a loss---going blind into this...Help!! WillsMom~~Allyson

P.S. We have to travel about two hours to meet with the mediator---due to the fact the mediator charges 300.00 an hour and that would equal out to 1200.00 on us---is this typical??? A.

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Hi Allyson, Denise,

Is mediation simply part of the process? I know what it is, just that no one has mentioned it would be something we'd need to prepare for in the future with our case. Also, did either of you get depositions from the defense? We've only received copies of our own.

Allyson, the mediator cannot charge you for your travel time. If the mediator were traveling to you, it would be considered chargable.

Nothing is free, including our emotions. They are valuable.

You are dealing with alot of legal stuff falling on your shoulders during an emotional time for you. Do not stretch yourself too thin. Your time is priceless. You are valuable, what you have to say and the input on what you read with not one, but three depositions is very important. You are stressed, exhausted and emotionally drained. You said so yourself You have the right to put down the depositions for a few hours, a day or two. The reason the depositions were sent to you is because you have the right to amend and notorize any changes you dispute. You are not doing yourself any favors by trying to get it all done at once. I don't mean to imply you are, just reassuring you can take a little time to take care of you before all else right now. The same goes for all of us.

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Allyson: We didn't pay for the mediator at our mediation...it may be due to the RR calling for a mediation, I don't know. I wonder if your law firm asked for mediation instead of the other way around???

As for depositions, we have never been sent the depo's that have been taken, we have been told what has been done/discussed at the depo but have never received the transcript. Of course, just one depo ran for about 7 hours and that would be so much paper work that I don't know how I would ever go through it.

Back to the mediation, if you think that it will be completed in 4 hours...not! Not to burst your bubble, and I hope that 4 hours is the case for you, but we were there for more than 12 hours and nothing was accomplished.

I sound like the grim reaper and am sorry, I am just giving you facts that we faced. I would ask your lawyer if the other side will be paying for some of the mediation fees. Your lawyer should actually be paying for it and taking out of the money awarded in the end...they should cover all expenses and take the money out as expenses at the end.

I think we went through this earlier/past portion of this thread; what to expect...I wouldn't expect to walk out of the mediation with a deal; I hope you do, but be prepared not to so you are not disappointed in the end. As I posted one other time: if your lawyer is asking for XXX amount of money, expect the other side to offer a very disgusting number, a number that will make you mad and then you work from there. We just stayed mad and never got any further. It is a long and very boring day. For us, it was 12 hours and we just sat in a room for all of the day and left when we decided we would not come to an agreement at that point. It actually went on for a number of days after that, without us present, all by phone, and we never did agree to anything.

We really didn't find it outrageously emotional, it was more of a business meeting than an emotional day. We had a couple of times that the tears came, but not like I was expecting. When the mediator looked at a picture of my daughter and told me that she got her looks from me...I started bawling, and another time that my husband was explaining how the loss has effected him...that really got me crying. But, otherwise, it was more of a waiting game and a mad contest. They throw out lowball numbers and you say; "Ya, right".

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The other side called for mediation, and what the mediator charges is 300.00 an hour, and if he travelled here it would amount to 1200.00 round trip, I have no idea who is paying for this, I assume the other side, because I have heard nothing of it. They are not paying us for travel time, I have noone idea who chose this mediator or even his/her name...all I know is what I was told...and was just asking you guys what you thought and for advice...As far as trying to get it all done at once, Chels...I really don't know what you mean, we have been at this for almost two years, please explain.

I like the idea of viewing as business and not an emotional thing, but how hard will that be? I just hope I do not freak in the middle of the thing. I mean, do I have to sit in the same room with this OB or are we separated? I hope for separation, due to the fact my first instinct will be to dot her eye..anyway, thanks for the input, even if it is hard to hear. I feel a trial blowing me way---but anything for Will and justice. WillsMom~~Allyson

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You should be in different rooms, there should be no reason for you to all be in one room. We all got together in the morning in a confrence room and the mediator explained what to expect and then we all went our own ways and stayed in little rooms for the rest of the day.

I am sure it could be very emotional, we tried our best not to allow the emotions to surface, because we didn't feel that it would be benificial to us to break down. Not only that, but it really is just money talk and waiting games, it is not like sitting in the court room and hashing out all the details, in fact, details don't even come into the mix while in mediation, or they didn't for us. It really wasn't what I expected, I was very worked up about going and it wasn't the emotional roller coaster you may be thinking.

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missingmyangel

My 22 year old daughter died in a psychiatric hospital in May. We are still awaiting the autopsy results, but strongly suspect either she was given the wrong medication or too much of a prescribed medication. Does anyone here have any similar experience?

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I do not have direct experience with what you are going through other than we share the death of a child. My son died due to medical error, but I do have a lot of experience with the courts and research and medical records and dealing with people who do not want to be dealt with, so I would gladly guide you through the maze you are about to enter, and try and help you get the answers you deserve.

Immediately, and I mean today, ask for your daughter's medical records...from start to finish, and read them. I sat and read probably over a thousand pages one weekend. You will begin to see things and discover things through these records...start there; and do not let them tell you that they cannot release them; they are YOUR records.

I hope I have helped. I almost did not answer, but I did not want to just leave you hanging.

With Regrets for Your loss,

WillsMom~~Allyson

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missingmyangel

Allyson-

Thank you for your response. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. There are no words to describe what we are living.

I do have medical records although I had to get very aggressive with the hospital to get them. After phone calls to the State Attorney General's office, the hospital's parent corporation's legal counsel, etc....I finally got them. It's amazing after going through all that to get them...there are several errors in them that I can substantiate. The waiting for the ME's final report is hard. I keep looking to see if there is something else I can/should be doing. Thanks again.

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Dear MissingmyAngel:

You are on the right track! If these errors you found make you realize that there is something amiss; highlight for future reference and your attorney(s) is you decide to go that route, and it sounds like to me that you need to. Have you spoken with everyone that was on duty the night your daughter passed? Have you sought legal counsel? If you prefer not to put yourself through speaking with the staff that was there that night, they can be called for depositions by your counsel.

Concerning the ME/Pathologist, I called the man that performed my son's autopsy and spoke with him directly. Call this man/woman and just fire off the questions you want answered. In regards to this final report, and I would assume it has been done, they will tell you otherwise, but I can almost assure you that it is complete, they are just holding it, for fear of letting it go and it also aides them with the time-frame, your memory and most importantly the statue of limitations, which in most states is two years, so if they refuse to let you speak with the ME, call them everyday. I spent 6 to 8 weeks doing nothing but hunting people down and demanding whatever it was that I wanted. You must keep in mind, that these papers and information are yours and noone can keep them from you, no matter what they say or how rudely they say it.

I do not know where you live and I fully understand if you prefer it to remain that way, but I would make myself familar with the laws of your state, and if your daughter died in another state, like my son did, research those laws also.

I am in deep south, and my son died in an adjoining state, so I have three attorneys, to be sure all bases are covered legally. Do not just pick an attorney; ask around, research their backgrounds. Word of mouth is better than the yellow pages in situations like ours. If you are in the south; Georgia, Florida, or Texas---I can help you in that regard, but get your ducks in a row, and then contact someone legally, it will only help your case and your daughter will get the justice she deserves.

Try and have a nice day, and know I will help anyway I can, for your sake and your daughters'~~and may God Bless are children.

Only the Best,

WillsMom~~Allyson

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missingmyangel

Allyson,

Thanks for all you shared. I live in Texas and my daughter was in a Texas hospital. We have spoken to the ME that did my daughter's autopsy several times. We have met with him in person once about a month ago. He does call us every couple of weeks to keep us posted. He is working with the toxicologist. They are running tests on medications my daughter was not prescribed. He said they did find a lethal level of a medication she was prescribed, but her liver function tests were normal - which would indicate that either she was given a lethal dose or she was given something she wasn't prescribed that caused some sort of lethal interaction. I had taken my daughter to the doctor 2 weeks before she entered the hospital and they did a whole bunch of blood work. Then the hospital did blood work about 4 days before she died...all with normal levels. The ME asked for copies of her medical records because they wanted to see if they could find any clues for anything else to look into. He also wanted to hear from me what she had been prescribed and a history of what she'd been through. He seems very interested in finding the truth and I am hoping that he is doing all that he can to find the answers. How can we know for sure? I haven't found any way...

We have talked to a couple of attorneys...basically they all say we have to wait until a determination of death is made in the final report. All the hospital staff were told not to talk to me. We tried to call a few who my daughter really felt close to and tell them about the funeral. I was told later that the hospital told them not to talk to me and that they couldn't go to the funeral. I did finally get a card signed by several of the hospital staff.

I'm just stuck. I can't "do" anything that I know of until we get an answer.

Thanks!

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Wow--what an awesome ME! What I would have given to have someone like that on my side, a seeker of the truth....a rare find in the ever so protected medical community.

I use to live in Texas, Irving to be exact, and still miss it to this day. My dad is doctor there, and I have several friends who have helped me with my sons' case; reviews, comments, etc., I can easily get some names of a few really good malpractice attorneys, if you would like...?? Let me know.

I know to well your frustration on the having to wait, it is all I seemed to do for weeks/months...and I am still doing it now. My case goes into mediation at the end of this month...more waiting. I really don't expect much, and could honestly careless what happens, and when I say that I mean in the fact of a settlement...they can never give me Will back, so who really gives a sh*t? He is all I want anyway, and since I cannot have him; I will seek justice for him.

Everything you are doing is right on the money and you are headed in all the right directions. You are just in the "hurry up and wait scenerio"---all part of the game, the legal game. I know that if I was a doctor and I made a horrible error, I would come to the family and say so...not hide, like some creepy nutcases hoping the family would either miss it or just never know...people can really be so backward...

Anway, I wish you luck and let me know on the attorneys, I will set that in motion once I hear from you. I am off to do all those fun Saturday errands.

I hope your day is a kind one.

WillsMom~~Allyson

P.S. It does not surprise me the staff was shut off from you. The hospital is afraid someone may feel too much emotion toward you and really spill the beans; but you can still get them in depositions...Where there's a will there is a way...or we can find one~~

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missingmyangel

Thanks Allyson,

It makes me feel a little better hearing from someone who has/is going through something similar. It's been six months now for my daughter. I'm a "fixer" by nature and this is something I cannot fix and that and the waiting is hard. I was a little surprised that her doctor called a few weeks after her death and wanted to talk...but he wouldn't talk on the phone, he said he wanted to come to our house. He was very nice and seemed genuinely upset by my daughter's death. We sat and tried to put pieces together to try and figure out what could have happened. He brought up the fact that sometimes the hospital gives one patient another patient's medication but that they usually will call the doctor and tell them I just gave John Jane's medication...what do we do. That was pretty shocking to me, but he said it happened more than people think. He called me several times after that and said the hospital was having meetings to talk about my daughter's case and that they were basically trying to blame him. But he wasn't there...he didn't administer the medication...she had been on the same medication and dosage for a year and there hadn't been any problem. I just don't think it could be his fault. I blame the hospital. Either the pharmacy sent up the wrong meds, the nurse pulled the wrong meds, or something like that...that just seems to be the only answer.

You are right about a settlement. I have thought about this and all the pain that it will cause to take them to court. Sometimes I don't even want to go through it, but that would not be fair to my daughter. I fought very hard for her while she was here and I am not going to stop now even if it takes years. There are people who need help and need to be hospitalized...they shouldn't have to worry about dying from someone's mistake when they go there.

I think I have a good lead on an attorney who has won some pretty big cases in medical malpractice. But I guess I won't know for sure until we get the final report and we can potentially move to the next step. If you don't mind sharing the names of some good attorneys, I would appreciate it....I may need it depending on what happens. I am in the Houston area.

I'll be thinking of you as you move forward with your son's case. Take care!

Shelia

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Hi Shelia--- I am so wary of doctors', even though my Dad is a urologist, He was the one that said read, read, read....and then when it came down to it, he said get'em....and I feel like I have, but he would never admit to it. My step-mother has been a true friend to me through out this.

I totally agree with seeking help. I have no idea what was wrong with your daughter, but you must tell yourself, you did everything; and if someone screwed up or hurt her,which it appears they did....I would want justice too and I have a tendency to cuss, so **** them up..sorry...

Wait for the report, but do NOT take the doctors' concern as real....real as in heartfelt...I hate to sound so awful, but I have heard it all and been exposed to so much bullshit, and the "I am here to help" crap---I could vomit...My son says I am being rough...Know that I care and if you have had a bad, bad thing happen to you---KICK THEIR ASS----

WillsMom~~Allyson

Please know I mean all of this in the best way, I just do not like it. In my mind, noone should lose a child...unless we are 80....and they are 55

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missingmyangel

Thanks Allyson. I feel like everything is just building inside of me and I will explode once we get the final report. I take a lot, but once I hit my limit I will fight to the death. I appreciate your sharing your experiences. I don't know anyone who has gone through anything like this.

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My kinda person, I too, feel like I would fight for Will no matter what...No word on my friend from Texas concerning the lawyers, but she is very, very tedious...It took her almost two 1/2 weeks just to read Will's records, so I can only figure she is hunting down the best. I talk to her about twice a week and Thursday is one of our days...I will stay in touch and you stay strong.

Bless our children, and ourselves....

WillsMom~~Allyson

P.S. I will let you know as soon as I do. Do you have e-amil on this site or a way to leave the name? I think we all have it, so that is okay, I just cannot scroll and see while typing...WillsMom

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missingmyangel

I'm not real familiar with this site yet, but I think my e-mail is listed. I can see it....I guess everyone can see it. If not, it's shelia1107@earthlink.net.

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Sent the names, they are in the DFW area, but that maybe a good thing, no "good ol' boy" network, and if you used someone based in Dallas, their perspective may not be clouded by or swayed by knowing "so and so"~~~I have run into alot of that here. This is an extremely small town, and everyone knows everyone, it is quite disgusting, and if they don't know you; they know your brother in law or some cousin....anyway, I hope this helps you find info. and get all your questions answered.

We should swap stories, I may send you Will's tomorrow. I have felt pretty rough all day. I think the looming mediation and the stress of it, is beginning to descend upon me, but I will plow right through the bullshit, for Will, if no other reason....Type soon and I hope your day and evening are kind to you.

WillsMom~~Allyson

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MEDIATION CANCELLED FOR MY CASE--HEADED STRAIGHT FOR TRIAL-- OTHER SIDE CALLED IT OFF. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENS, AND WHAT TO EXPECT NEXT???? WILLSMOM~~Allyson

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Will's Mom,

I don't know why they would have called off your mediation, but going right to trial.......to me that sounds like they are looking for and end to this? Maybe it's a good thing that they don't see a reason to go throught the mediation!

I haven't posted in a while, but I still come and read all your posts and have kept up with what's happening! I hope things continue to move forward now and you get the results you've been hoping for! I just wanted you to know that I care about what your going through and wanted you to know that I am still here for you!!

Keep us posted!

Josh's Mom (Sue)

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Hi Sue,

Thanks for the reply. I do not know why they cancelled either, and at this point I just look at the whole situation as a war.

I have already lost Will, he is never, ever coming back to me, so they can drag this thing out until hell freezes over...I will never get my son back, so all the legal BS and all the games, do not matter to me...they are fools to think I will go away or quit...I am in this for my boy, and to make sure his short, painful life was not in vain. He deserves that.

I hope all is well with you. Let us know.~~Have you heard from Denise? I miss her, and her input, but I know we all are busy or move on to, hopefully, better days. I will keep you in my thoughts. Take Care and stay strong.

WillsMom~~Allyson

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Hi Allyson,

I am sorry I have not been posting, I have been visiting the site, just not as often as I used to. I am not sure why; It started when I started traveling heavier for work, then my husband took me to the UK and then I was sick for over a month, in the middle of remodel and so much more that is constantly on your plate. Either all those excuses or I just don't need this site like I used to. I hope it is the latter.

We just celebrated Bridgette's 21st birthday on Saturday and went to the grave and had a shot of booze with her...sounds stupid, I am sure, but I am glad we did it. I miss her so much and can just imagine how thrilled she would have been to turn 21.

I can't imagine why they would have called off mediation...it would be cheaper than going to court, I would think. It is possible that new evidence came in, or someone important wouldn't have been able to make it or any number of things. I would assume that your lawyer has an explanation for them calling it off and would think he/she would share it with you if you asked. Do you know when you go to court? Is there a date set yet?

Denise

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Hey Denise---

You world traveller, you!~~~ So, glad to hear from you.

I will be blunt with you, because we always have been so point blank with one another...I am glad you are not here anymore, and I mean that in the best way. I think you are healing. I wish I would have been with you guys when you were having a shot in Bridge's honor...I could have taken it...and enjoyed it, just because you were doing it, I do not find that funny at all. Please know I was there in spirit.

I know you are busy and working and doing things, but please, check in...I do not expect daily advice, but just to know you are here, checking in would be nice. I have a strong feeling I am in for the fight of my life for my Will, and I am ready...just check in...WillsMom, and Your friend, Allyson

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WOW, I was just hitting the reply button and a huge bolt of lightning struck, then a crash of thunder...pretty funny when you think about it (I live in MN and should be getting snow, not thunder storms).

This is the fight of all of our lives, and it seems to take your entire life to complete it...or will it ever be over? I am very frustrated with the time that this takes, because it is time consuming and it does continue to be "in your face" constantly. I would love to see how the "other half" lives. I would like to be able to move on and until this fight is over I don't think it will happen.

I had to put our dog down a couple of weeks ago and it was pretty difficult, this was Bridgette's dog and when the injection was taking effect I lost it...I can't even explain how I felt, almost a relief that Bridge would have her dog with her, but so sad that she will have her dog with her...if that makes sense?

It has been 3.5 years now and we still can't deal with Christmas, I am booking travel to Wyoming at the moment, trying to get out of town so we won't need to be present for the festiveness. I buy whatever gifts I need to via internet, mail them to whoever they go to, son included and take my son, his girlfriend (I just love her) and my hubby out of town and don't do gifts or even remember that it is a holiday. Pretty bad, I know. But I don't need to decorate, don't need to send out cards, don't need to have anyone watch me to see if I am going to lose it in my grief...it is just more enjoyable.

Take care and keep me posted on how things go.

When is trial set?

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I am jealous...I am made to deal with Christmas...due to my living boys, and the fact that it is still a must here.

I am so sorry about the dog, that I am sure was hard, but on a kinda silly side, but positive note, he is with Bridgette...and she was; I am sure glad to see him. Don't fret over that...all dogs go to heaven, so I am sure she greeted him warmly.

Wyoming? Why Wyoming? I would love to go to Iceland at this point. It is 80 degrees here and the Christmas spirit is null and void. Who the hell wants to pick out a tree in shorts?? I hope I can get through it.

You sound great and really on a good path, and I am happy for that, know that Bridge feels that too.

I am glad you like your son's girlfriend, that is always nice, better than wanting to run her off~~LOL.

Be glad you get to miss all BS that goes with the holidays and enjoy yourself; if anyone deserves it: YOU do!!

Trial is set (possibly) for Feb., could even be April...but I have come to the conclusion that I would want my boys/family to fight for me, so I am going in like Rocky....the young Rocky...LOL~~At this point Denise, it does not matter as I know you have felt before, we have lost what is the most important and promising, so why not get in a dog fight with these pigs? I just hope all goes well, and Will gets the acknowledment he so deserves. He died unfairly.

I won't get drag us down. You keep on going and hanging in there and I will be thinking of you as you freeze your tail off in Wyoming, but not much different than MN....In Georgia, it is like a weird Spring or something...I have got to order Chinese for everybody, so I will let you go ....for now, but I will keep you posted, and please do the same.

Much Peace and Friendship to you~~ You really are a remarkable person.

Stay in touch!

Allyson~~WillsMom

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Allyson,

Does your lawyer know why the Mediation was put off?

Our lawyer emailed yesterday and they had an appointment with the judge to set dates for more depositions (because the other side doesn't stick to dates and nothing is getting done) and to set dates for trial and such...and to get the other side in trouble for not doing what they should be doing. So, I should hear a bit later today what is going on.

Need to run, the guy coming to do the hard wood floors is on his way, need to get the dog out.

Take care

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Hey!

He just stated to me that they were going to use the defense that the echo-cardiogram was not her standard of care, which is crazy because the echo was ordered by another doctor that worked for the company that we used for the better grade ultra-sound. It is a silly defense. There are so many people lined up stating that Will would have lived if she would have done the echo. She states she never even read the paper...so how the hell would you know what your standard of care would have been if you never even saw the order? Ass backward BS in my eyes.

I thought you were done and settled? I really thought it was over for you and atleast you were headed to a settlement...Gosh, they are real bastards, just digging in---Just like the ****-heads I am dealing with. Let me how it goes and I will do the same. I do not expect to hear anything from my end until after the first of the year. You know how the legal system just shuts down around the holidays, and there are so many games going on with my case, I just roll with the punches...Be in touch!!!

Allyson

P.S. The floors won't be as bad as you think. We did Pergo, not actual wood, but it went quickly...Living room, hallway, bedrooms(3), Will's is brick, and it was about a week and 1/2~~~Good Luck on that one. Workmen drive me nutty. Type soon~~AAB

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Well, I am not the happiest person on the planet at the moment. I just found out that dates have been set (again) and we are to have discoveries done by the end of Aug. (yep, '07) and the date for trial is set for Feb...and, right again, '08. My lawyer feels that quite a bit was accomplished, which I am sure is accurate, but sitting on my side, since Sept. of 2003, this is taking forever. I just sat a bawled yesterday when I heard the dates. It is like my daughters death is just getting swept under a rug...who cares that 4 were killed in that accident so long ago, and OH YA, What were the names??? I seriously feel that no one will remember these poor kids.

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Denise:

I remember...I remember the whole story and I remember you fighting and fighting...Please don't cry over a bunch of assholes, who could careless what we have lost and continue to stay on point. They suck. It is nothing but a tactic to wear you down...do what I did and simply say: I am doing everything I can and will continue to at ANY cost. Think of Bridge like a mantra...you are doing this for her, and the other kids, hold steady, and keep pressing forward. I have already told myself and had it documented, if something happens to me or my family, that the fight is to go on...maybe do that---it put my mind at ease, and it let my poor inner-self know that what I want accomplished will be. Who cares if it is 2010? Just as we have said a zillion times, we have come this far and fought this hard for our children---Who the hell would ever make us stop and what gives them the right???? **** them---You keep right on going and I can assure you everyone will remember them and the RR will too.

Stay tough...I know it sucks, but if we don't stand up for our children who will?

Everything will be okay.

Allyson

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Will's Mom and Ribit's Mom,

I am sending you both hugs and wanted you to know that I feel for what your both going through. The courts are emotionless!

Granted, we only had ours drag out for 17 months, but in the end, the plea bargain that this kid got, just erased Josh's death completely. The only thing he got charged with was ditributing a prescription narcotic. His 1 year in jail will be over on January 3, 2007. I dread the fact of knowing he will be out again and able to continue his same behavior. (He did get caught with Methedone again,11 months after Josh passed, and I am sure if he wouldn't have gotten caught, he would have sold it to someone again, and I also beleive that this second time having the drug, was the only reason he got any jail time at all. I really think that he would have weazeled his way out of everything, without that second offense happening!

He will have 5 years of probation, but in our County, that is so easily slipped through, it's not even funny!

Anyway on one good note, I don't know if you remember that a big newspaper from West Virginia contacted me a while back and asked if they could include Josh's picture and story in a series of articles they ran about the dangers of Methedone and how many people are dying, even if the pills are taken as prescribed by a doctor. I recieved an e-mail from them stating that the FDA finally changed the inserts and packaging information on Methedone and it now states that taking the them could cause death! I know this is not going to help in cases where someone is selling the drug, or giving them out to people, but it is a step in the right direction.

I feel for you, Denise, with your dog too. We had to put our 14 year old dog down last October, and I remember the whole while the injection was going in, I was whispering to Codi to give Josh lots of kisses all over his face and enjoy lots of walks with him, when she sees him! She wasn't even shaking or acting nervous and the vet always terrfied her! I felt sad too, and was crying hysterically, but I also was glad for her, and alittle jealous that she would see and be with Josh sooner that me!

We go to Josh's cemetary site everytime one of us, my husband, older son or I or Josh have a birthday or one of his anniversaries, and his freinds meet us there and we all share a beer there. It's just a way for all of us to be together and remember him!

Take care, both of you and please keep me posted on your sides!

Josh's Mom, (Sue)

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Oh Sue---thank-you so much...I think we all are in or have been in a bad,bad sitution.

I am glad you settled early, even though I feel the punishment does not fit the crime; since you and your family have suffered so much; in my very harsh outlook, I feel the boy should be in jail for life, but I have grown mean and dismayed by all that happens with the court system...We ( you, I and Denise) have experienced the shitty ways things go on, and how people just do not get it---or even attempt to.

The loss of a child at the hands of someone else can drive you crazy, and at times, I have been that way....and I hate to sound sappy, but I use faith to help me: Faith that Will is at peace and waiting for me and that true justice will be served.

Is there any way you can protest this boy/mans' release...Hell, I would be outside with a billboard calling him a murderer/killer/drug dealer....Horrible, I know....but if he does not get the magnitude of he has done, he will never change....

Just me, as usual, being harsh and always wanting justice...TRUE justice...I will pray for you and your family all through January, but I would not make his walk out of jail a pleasant one...Mean, I know. Take it as you will.

WillsMom~~Allyson

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I so painfully found this group. This is my very first post.I don\'t know if it should be posted here, since I am not responding to anyone\'s post. I am also not a tech saavy person. So using proper lingo and finding this , may be a problem for me. I think I registered properly, but I\'m not sure. My questions for the group are about extraditions. I am a mother grieving for over 10 years. As they say,\" A grief like no other\". Does anyone have a similiar situation reguarding a criminal who has not been brought to justice do to extradition policies. I know laws have changed since 911, but honestly I haven\'t tried to continue fighting for justice. I apologize if I am \"In the wrong place\". But I guess the moderator will tell me if I am. Thank you and God Bless you .

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Dear Guest:

I am sorry for your loss and your 10 year long search for justice, and since you are not "tech savy"~~probably the best and simplest thing I can advise you to do would be to use a search engine to find out exactly what policies we (the USA) hold with other countries. A search engine is a site like www.ask.com or www.dogpile.com, these sites allow you to ask a simple question and basically get the information you're searching for; but I do wonder if your statue of limitations may have run out, but then again, there may not be one in place for such a matter as you are suggesting, which I assume would be murder, but as you know there is even a statue in place in the USA, which I believe is eight years, but then again you always hear "there is no statue of limitaions on murder", so my advice is to search, and if that is beyond you mode of computer awareness, I would simply call the FBI, and see what direction they could send you in, or maybe even a site they have with your needed information.

Again, I am sorry for your loss and hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Sincerely,

WillsMom

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Guest, our justice system can be a little hard to understand. Was this guy convicted of another crime in a different state? Why are they not extraditing him for what I am guessing is your son's murder? It sounds terrible to be going through this. If you can tell us what is going on please do. You need to start probably with talking about it and then maybe we could have some productive suggestions. 10 years is a very, very long time, no one should have to contend with both things. Jim

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Dear Guest,

I am so sorry for your loss...10 years is a very long time, but as we all know here at this site, you can never put a time limit on your grief.

You are certainly in the correct place if you would like to talk, or "unload" and ask for suggestions, or just look for a shoulder. None of us are expert in this, we are all just going through the same thing and using eachother as bouncing boards and comfort, because no one understands the loss of a child other than another person that lost a child also.

Each of us have lost a child, all in different ways, but each loss is just as devistating. We may not know all the rules for extradition, we may not know all the legal rules, as each state is different, and I am not positive that you are from the states, so if you are from a different country, then the rules change again. But please feel free to give us as much information as you are willing to share and we will try to help from that point.

The reason I think you may live in another country is due to the "\", while I was in the UK everything I typed has the "\" and I wasn't sure why.

Welcome to the board, though I am sorry that you needed to find this web site, and we hope that you are comfortable to share your story with us.

Denise

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Sue (Josh's Mom),

I meant to reply to your post the other day and became side-tracked. I wanted to thank you for your kind words and to give you my congrats on the Methedone warning that was added. Even if it isn't going to help those that purchase it off the streets, or without a prescription, it will still help to save lives and what a great reward that should be for you. You should really feel as though you accomplished something. You can only change the world in little steps and you certainly made a big little step. Good for you.

I don't know how you will handle it when this person is let out of jail, but I have faith in you, you seem to be such a strong person and I know that you will do well with this. It will be difficult but keep posting and venting when you need to...if nothing else, it will help you to release some steam.

Allyson, I hope you are doing well.

As for me, I am losing my "faith" in the justice system. It feels as though this will never be over, and it feels as though the "other side" is bowed to, they just ignore each thing we request and the courts allow it to happen. At this point I am pretty frustrated.

Denise

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Hey all---looking for "Guest's" story---I really think that between all of us we could help....Guest?

You are welcome here.

Sue, Denise.... I will type tomorrow...I am Grrrrrrrumpy.

Allyson

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I am so glad that I found this site also, and I truly believe that any strength I do show, on the outside, is strength I found because of all the caring and understanding poeple I have met on this site!

There is no judging, just very needed words of comfort from Mom's and Dad's that all share a common bond of losing the most preciuos thing anyone could lose......their child!

I still feel that I have not fully excepted the fact that Josh has passed, and I may never except it!

I picture him in a beautiful Paradise, with lots of people around him and I like to think he is doing everything he ever wanted to do, and also helping to accomplish what he was taken from us, to do! If I don't think that way, my mind blurrs and I push down alot of hurting and pain.

But since I have been coming here, I realize that unfortunately, and thankfully (which may sound strange), I am not alone in this!!

It has been 2 1/2 years, and we are about to celebrate our 3rd Christmas as a family of three......not four, which is very hard for me!

I struggle also because alot of people seem to think that this amount of time is sufficient in showing saddness and grief and that I should be able to move forward and continue my life now without the saddness and grief! I don't want to put that aside! I feel the saddness all the time, I just don't show other people, all the time. I guess this makes them uncomfortable, and that's really too bad!

I just know in my heart that my son is still around us and I do show some strength because of everything he has done to prove to us that there is a life after death! I have an amazing son, in that he has shown us many many times, that he isn't just dead in the grave! Thankfully he has done this for us and this has kept me sane! (I may not sound sane to people that don't believe or understand signs and dreams....but this has given me the hope I needed that I will see my son again some day, but until then, he is around us when we need him to be!

Sorry for the ramble and for Guest...please....please feel comfortable coming here. There are no rules and you are doing everything right!!! Post again and let us know about your story, we do want to help, if we can!

Take care and thanks for being here and listening again!!!

Sue (Josh's Mom)

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Hey all~~ Well, I had to finally get rid of my drunken, abusive husband. I had him removed (by restraining order; he would not leave on his own accord), and I filed for divorce and the order all in the same day, and he was served this AM and was out of my life until the hearing on Dec. 21st...Anybody know the road on this one...I am walking in the dark here, and would love to know the in's and out's of this....Can you believe that I have to endure the loss of Will due to medical malpractice, try, and try to help my husband, have to file for divorce...I mean, who in the hell has this kind of luck? Who in the hell has four attorneys??? Why in the hell did Will have to die???? Why does any of this happen???

Oh, I forgot to mention the fact that my husband was arrested on Sat., and that was the last straw... He was endangering my living boys with his problems, and I went into protection mode, concerning my boys, and my fear of losing my own freedom due to his antics...Anyway~~advice on divorce would be nice if anyone has been through it...but in all honesty, I do feel relief, and safe (sort of)....I guess you can say that I am glad he is gone, now I just have to face another thing head on?? When will the battles end??? Waiting to hear from you guys..... WillsMom~~Allyson

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Hi Allyson,

I have no words of wisdom, only heartfelt sympothy. You are doing the right thing and I am sure this will be a very bumpy road for you and your kids. My thoughts are with you.

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Hello all,

Thank you for being members of our message boards. In March I am going and speaking to a group of funeral directors who really want to learn how to help their families they serve better. The discussion is to help the funeral directors think about what death means to them (including their own) so that they treat people with more companission. I could really use your help by answering this short survey. The results will be shared with this group of funeral directors but not your name. Please copy and cut this link into a new browser to take the survey http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=816323037425 .

Thanks!

Kelly Baltzell

President

Beyond Indigo

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Will's Mom,

Hugs to you and your boys!! I am not divorced, but I have considered it over the years, but opted out for all kinds of reasons!

I think that you are doing the right thing if you feel that you and your children are in danger or are being abused by him!

My husband drinks also, but it only gets bad when he is laid off for the winter. He is a seasonal truck driver, and during the work season, he is very responsible and never misses a day of work.....but the winter months when he is home and bored, he tends to spend alot more time in the bars and that causes problems!

My older son has moved back home and he has been here for about 4 months, and since his Dad has been laid off, he has already mentioned wanting to move out again! It is stressful!!!

I commend you for having the courage to finally do what you feel you have to!

Sometimes I think about what my life would have been like if I would have met and married a non-drinker......would I have had to endure losing my son?? Or was this the had I was dealt all along!

Anyway, I am hear to listen if you need to vent! I do understand, even though i haven't actually gone through this!

Take care,

Josh's Mom (Sue)

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It has been 6 months since our son drowned. We are in the middle of a law suit. We ordered a Child safety net for our pool. They didn’t install it before they filled the pool. I understand that he was our responsibly at the time he drowned, yet I don’t think that they should of filled the pool before installing the net. Our son drowned only 3 days after the pool was filled. It is just hard to except what has happened when there is still a judgment to be made. It is hard enough dealing with the loss of our child, then having to deal with it in the courts also. Is it worth it?

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also, thank you everyone for coming here. I don't think I would be able to make it a day without coming to this site. The other people in my life don't seem to want to hear about it any more. They have dealt with it. yet, they didn't see there child dead due to something that could of be prevented. ahhhhh.. Again.. thank you for coming here.

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Mymakai,

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, but so glad you found BI, it has been a huge help for me also.

One of your questions was, was it worth it to file a suit against those responsible; I doubt any of us will see any money after the lawyers get what they get, it will be very minimal, and if we did, it wouldn't bring our child back anyway. However, the suit has given me an avenue for my grief, it gives you a focus which after looking back has been a huge help for me.

Just be prepared to not see the end to this anytime soon. In our case, we filed a suit 3.5 years ago and we won't see a court room until it has been 4.5years at least.

Denise

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Mymakai: I am sorry for your loss, we all here know your pain and will help anyway we can. I would find out what the company's protocol is concerning the installing of the fence. I mean, common sense would tell you to install the fence after the pool is completed and EMPTY. I do believe they hold some liability in your boy's death...I would use the internet to research or I would call other pool companies and ask what there policy is, I would not state why I was calling, I would just act as though I am interested in installing a pool, you will get honest answers that way, also if they have any pamplets, or literature I would get that too. If you succeed in this, turn it over to your attorney, it will help your case.

Again, My most sincern regrets in the death of your son. We are here if you need us. WillsMom~~Allyson

P.S. To All my Buddies: Tomorrow is the hearing in my divorce, well, the temporary hearing...and I am scared~~~~ but ready....WillsMom~~Allyson

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I don’t exactly know why I have to explain to the courts, that my wife and I have provided James with 100% of all the things a child should have, from the time I returned home with him, until his untimely and heartbreaking death. I have had custody of James Paul Bramlett, since he was 4 years old.

It’s been hard enough on me and my family and all his many friends, in loosing JP as suddenly as we did.

When knowing all the goals that he had set for himself and the goals he had already achieved.

His plans to attend Missouri State and Judy and I, moving up there to be near him.

All gone.

I ask God every night and most of the day, why did he have to be the one taken at this particular point in ALL of OUR lives?

I have had custody of James Paul Bramlett, since he was 4 years old, after a very bitter and

disgusting divorce from Janet Denise Bramlett. AKA Denise.

Between my wife, Judy Bramlett, and myself, we have provided James Paul Bramlett, AKA (JP), with everything from school clothes, computers, toys, trip’s to many fun and educational places that youngsters enjoy.

(zoo in Memphis and St.Louis, Music Row and Opry Land in Nashville, skate parks in Rockford Illinois, Mud Island in Memphis, Six Flags in St. Louis, vacations to Florida and 4th of July in New Orleans as well as the aquarium, Petting zoo’s in Jackson, camping trips, fishing and hunting trips, hiking trips, boat races, fairs and carnivals).

Other wise, we provided James Paul Bramlett, 100% of his total needs.

Food, shelter, clothing and everything else!

And if we told James that we were going to do anything for him, we ALWAYS made sure that we could do what we told him we would do.

Now we are subjected to these demeaning acts by a woman who was 3 times proven to be an “unfit” mother in

two different courts, in two different states?

And all because her family (that had nothing at all to do with JP) are seeing dollar bill’s at the expense of MY Son’s death?

Even after seeing that EVERY PICTURE OF JP ON DENISE’S WALLS AT HOME, WAS PAID FOR BY JUDY AND I.

I noticed this when we all went to Denise’s after James passed away and all the family was down here.

(her son, wife, grandson and Judy and I went to TN. To see James cousin and stopped by there briefly)

JP and I were as close as a Father and Son could possibly be.

We had our “up’s and down’s” as in any CARING family.

But at NO TIME did he EVER ask, request, or even “hint”, that he wanted to go live with his mother.

Nor did he ever, at any time “live” with her.

And when he did go to visit her for a “week”, he would call home after two or three days and I would have to go get him over in Tennessee.

Because he said that his mother “ragged him out” and he couldn’t stand to hear her and her family talk foolishness, about me and Judy.

I kept him out of trouble by encouraging him to stay involved in music.

He was self taught his guitar by learning “tabs” on his computer, using the internet.

(all of which I provided, guitars, amps, effect pedals, computer, internet)

After James passing, ALL the young men that had known JP and played music with JP, gave him a memorial “concert” at the Heartland Building, on 11-5-04.

They called it the “JP-FEST”.

The remnants of his band played the songs that they had been working on for the last couple of month’s.

We had 4 bands altogether, that knew and loved JP and his “magic fingers” as they used to say about his guitar playing.

JP had plans on attending Missouri State University upon graduating from East Prairie High School.

He was 3 credits ahead of most of his fellow senior classmates.

JP could have graduated in January.

But he wanted to graduate with all his friends that he grew up with.

He attended school here in East Prairie during all his school years with me and my wife, Judy.

James had all the latest in clothing fashion.

He had clothes he wore just for band practice and performing and he had clothes that he wore

for “just goofin around” as he used to say.

He has had, over the years, his own bedroom (always) and most of the time his own bathroom, his own computer & printer, playstation, Xbox, gameboy, nintendo64, stereo, television, vcr, weight set, 4 guitars, 3 amps and 3 different “effects” pedals, 5 or 6 bicycles, skateboards, rollerblades, yo-yo collection, squirt-guns, baseball equipment, football equipment, paintball equipment, his own phone and internet (when was about 9),

2 new bedroom sets. And I could go on and on. But I see no sense in it all.

Because James was very much loved and cared for, by my wife and myself.

James never was without anything he needed. If you go to his “website” (www.jpbramlett.com) you can see the pictures and videos of all the events during JP’s entire time with Judy and myself.

Or watch the “DVD” that I gave Kim Heckemeyer a few weeks ago.

James was a very intelligent youngster, who always made the honor roll in school and he always had a lot of friends.

Which many of them played music together since 2000 until he passed away.

The boy he was involved in the automobile accident with, was his bands drummer.

James mother and two half brothers moved back from Oklahoma in 1992 and resided with her aunt Dorothy in Commerce MO.

While there, her Aunt Dorothy, came every other weekend and took James to see his mother in Commerce.

Shortly thereafter, her Aunt requested that she find a place of her own, due to the fact that she (Denise) couldn’t get along with anyone for any amount of time.

I believe that she then moved to Cape Girardeau, MO.

And got a job that she worked no more than 2 months at.

After that she signed up for “disability”.

Her two sons, Calvin and Ricky, were in school in Cape and I let her see James anytime she wanted.

And I also had Calvin and Ricky come spend the weekend with me and my wife, in East Prairie MO.

(because I raised those two boys from the time they was both in diapers, and I love them like they are my own)

When her son oldest son, Calvin, graduated High School in Cape Girardeau, James, my wife, my oldest son (by a prior marriage), and myself attended Calvin’s graduation ceremonies. We had stopped by James mothers house to see if she wanted to go, and was told that “I don’t think I can sit that long” and she didn’t even attend her own son’s graduation ceremonies.

She started receiving SSI right around 1994 or 1995, and was “awarded” over $10,000.00 back-pay.

I asked her to put at least $1,500.00 in a bank account in James name only, for when he turned 18 or graduated from High School.

She refused, and spent all that money on I don’t know what.

She did buy James$100.00 in “jogging-pants” (in which she knew that we wouldn’t let James wear to school). And that’s all she bought him, out of $10,000.00.

She then moved to Dowagiac, Michigan.

And lived with her brother and family there.

While in Dowagiac, Michigan, she never seen James, except on occasions, her brother would come back down this way on business.

And when she did come back down to visit James, she stayed with her Aunt from here, Anna Dean Upchurch, and she also stayed with MY neighbor, Helen Weeks, who lived across the street from us, and I looked after Helen because she was my Mothers best friend, before she passed away in 1989.

But Denise also caused problems there too, in both her Aunts and at Helens.

After my oldest son moved to Rockford, Illinois around 1998 or 99, Calvin and his wife moved back down here from Dowagiac, Michigan and lived with me, my wife and James, until he could afford to get his own place in Cape Girardeau.

During this time, James and Calvin always did quite a bit together.

They skated together, went fishing and do what brothers do, have fun.

Then Denise moved back from Dowagiac, Michigan and I believe that is the time she moved in with Calvin and his wife, Wendy.

Wendy had a baby boy, Ethan, while they lived in Cape Girardeau, and Denise almost caused them a divorce. Because she CAN’T GET ALONG WITH ANYONE.

She was always bitter about the outcome of our divorce and she and the rest of her family never wanted to help JP out financially or emotionally.

She would tell JP that she would “send him money when she got her check” and then she would send half of what she told him, IF she sent any at all.

And this was also the same thing she would tell me, every time I bought JP a new guitar, amp or effect pedal. That she would send me “HALF” that next month and for ME to go ahead and get them.

I never seen a red dime for anything that Judy or I bought JP.

We have bought JP electric 4wheelers when he was smaller, bicycles, skateboards, roller-blades, what ever he needed or wanted, WE bought and paid for.

The only reason we did SO much for JP was he kept up his end of our agreement that he do good in school and stay out of trouble. Which he did.

As far as to what his natural mother has done for James, there is very little to tell.

Other than the fact that she always told him that she would do this or that, and never did.

At no time did my wife, nor I, ever deny James, visitations with his mother.

His mother had lived East Prairie, and left here without telling James or anyone else where she was going

or why she left.

James found out from his mothers next door neighbors that she moved away and went back to Tennessee.

In 2001, James was invited to Germany, to visit his brother Ricky. His brother was going to provide tickets for

both James and his mother. I went and got James an expedited passport ($85.00 for the fast issuance).

But his mother, Denise, never even bothered getting her “passport” and James didn’t get to go to Germany that

year, because of Denise’s total disregard of James anticipation of getting to go to Germany and flying on an

airplane.

Now let’s discuss this money that all his friends raised for MY family, because they all cared for JP

And all the kids here in this town that play music, knew that they was always welcomed in OUR home and that I have been unemployed since the place I worked at closed and moved to Mexico.

We was behind on all our bills, and spent what little money we had, staying 3 weeks up there with JP in the hospital.

That money or any other monies raised, collected or received, by myself or by my wife, was because EVERYONE in this small town knew how much JP meant to me & Judy, and what all that we had done for James.

Plus the fact that I have done, and still do, a lot of “free” work on a lot of people’s computers from here that really can’t afford to pay the “big-bucks” to have one worked on. And to be used at my discretion for whatever bills that needed to be paid during our time spent at the hospital.

NOT BECAUSE THEY KNOW JP’s MOTHER!

ALSO, NO MONEY WAS “DESIGNATED” TO BE “SPENT” ON THIS OR THAT!

INCLUDING JP A HEADSTONE. That money was to be used at my discretion for whatever bills that needed to be paid in our time spent at the hospital.

I am close friends of the parents whose son was driving the car the day my son was injured, I worked with her at Essex Wire before it shut down.

And she “headed” up the other teens that collected this money that Denise wants to get her undeserving hands on!

People in this town that knew Denise, know her as a “trouble maker” and “vindictive” person.

AND THAT SHE IS BACK HERE IN THIS STATE BECAUSE OF THIS “BLOOD MONEY” brought on by the death of my son.

Also, there was “money” collected for Denise over in Tennessee, of which I never said anything about, nor do I care.

Judy, myself and ALL the “sons” (Rodney, Calvin and Ricky) went to Belles memorial in Cario,Ill and picked out what headstone we all wanted. So it was a “FAMILY” decision. My family and Denises family involved.

(NOT HER THOUGH)

And Mr. Belle asked if we wished to put any money down and I asked if the “insurance” would take care of the headstone and he replied “absolutely”. So we didn’t put any money down because we were assured the “insurance” would take care of this.

No amount of MONEY in the world can EVER bring my JP back to me, and I WILL NOT accept Denise Bramlett, or any member of her family or mine, demeaning JP’s name, my family’s name, nor any of JP’s friends or their families.

They didn’t know him when he was alive, so why are they here now? (Denise’s brothers)

Because every one in this town that knows JP, Judy or myself, knew that Judy and I were the providers that took care of JP. Washed his clothes, cooked his meals, taught him to tie his shoes, made sure he always had a little “spending” money in his pockets, and in his teens, taught him how to cook and do laundry.

I built him a huge bedroom over at the house that we lost due to the loss of my job.

But the house we “rented” has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. So he still has his own bathroom, like he did at the other house we lost.

Let’s talk about what Denise did at the hospital during JPs short, but deadly stay there at St. Francis hospital in Cape Girardeau.

She arrived the night of the accident (9-9-04) and I fell asleep briefly around 4:30am and was awaken by Denise screaming obscenities at the “volunteer” at 6:30am, because we had to move to a different waiting room.

Then a couple of days later Calvin (her son) showed up and he took her away from the hospital, because of her behavior in front of people coming up to see and check on JP and MY family.

She would rave and rant about her supposedly “medical condition” and how many pills of “MORPHENE” and “NEROTTIN” she had to take and how bad off she was.

Instead of concentrating on how JP WAS.

She did this in front of JPs High school friends, their parents, my family, my wife’s family, her family, just anyone that would listen to her.

And I told her repeatedly, “that we are not up here to listen to you complain about your problems and how many drugs you are taking”. “We are up here because we LOVE JP”

My wife and I stayed at the hospital day in and day out, during JPs stay there.

While Denise had to be removed by her son’s (Calvin and Ricky) because of her behavior.

They either took her back to Tennessee, or over to her cousins house there in Cape Girardeau.

She went up to the “SICU” to see JP no more than 3 or 4 times in the 3 weeks that he was there.

Now lets discuss her actions while at her own Aunt and Uncles house here in East Prairie, while we

(every one but her) made the funeral arraignments.

She created a “scene” over “POLITICS” with her own mother and sister, Aunts and Uncles and Cousins.

While Calvin and Ricky (her own two sons) and their wife’s and children stayed at my house, along with my oldest (and ONLY now) son, wife and child, and with my youngest nephew and his two teenage sons.

And A LOT of JPs friends and their families, my neighbors, my brother and sister-in-law, my sister and many others came and stayed and visited with Judy and I during all this turmoil and confusion.

People here in East Prairie, brought over food and beverage and I in turn took some of the food and drink over to Denise’s Aunt, (Anna Dean and Tootsie Upchurch) because I have known and loved them for years and they are not in the best of health and had a lot of Denise’s family there. (I have a lot of respect for these two people)

I didn’t have to do anything for anyone especially after loosing my Son like that.

But Anna Dean and Tootsie Upchurch has always supported Judy and I, in our efforts to raise JP to turn out as the smart and considerate young man that he was.

There was a “REASON” that Judge Brown awarded custody of James to me.

She did to me, what she had done to her other two son’s Father.

Left while he was at work, she took the boys and “disappeared”.

Calvin and Ricky (her two sons) didn’t get the pleasure of meeting their real Father until they was 15 and 16 years old and lived in Cape Girardeau.

That is what she told me when I filed for a “legal separation”. That I would NEVER SEE MY SON AGAIN.

And when she refused to return to the State of Missouri, under the Courts Orders and the advice of her lawyer

(Hence Winchester, which withdrew as he attorney) and that is when I filed for divorce and received custody of James.

I had to appear and hire attorneys in 2 states and a 3rd here in Mississippi county.

I went to Oklahoma to get my son,

(after having to hire a private detective to find out where they was hiding my son out at) and I had to acquire another Lawyer there in Shawnee, Oklahoma as well.

Then she came up with all kinds of stories of why she didn’t come back to Missouri with my son.

And once again, she was proven to be the liar and phoney, which she really is.

The Judge in Oklahoma told the Sheriffs to get with the private detective and have my Son brought to me.

And when they showed up with my Son, he jumped up in my arms and told me that “momma told me that you died”.

So as I was signing some court documents, Denise showed up and got herself thrown in jail because of her craziness.

(Disorderly conduct)

And even after we arrived back in Missouri, she came and stayed with her Aunt Dorothy in Commerce, MO., she hired a lawyer from Cape Girardeau and I had to obtain yet another lawyer (Weber Gilmore).

Again, Judge Brown seen through her charades and granted me FULL CUSTODY of James.

Since I have had James Paul Bramlett, I got re-married on 3-14-92. (James was my “best man”)

So after all this heart ache and misery loosing my Son like that, I am going to have to RE-HASH all of the years of how cruel and uncaring a mother Denise really was?

She hurt my son more than words will ever describe.

She always thought that by not providing anything for James, that it was “getting-back” at me.

When in reality, Denise was hurting James by telling him she would do “things” for him, and then NOT doing what she promised James.

And so did her father last Christmas when JP went over there and his so-called “grand-dad” bought his “STEP-GRANDSON” a $900.00 bass guitar and amp, and didn’t get JP ANYTHING!

And to think that it was JP’s LAST CHRISTMAS ON THIS EARTH, disgusts me in the way he was treated by them.

And who is it that keeps James Paul’s name in remembrance?

MY FAMILY.

We bought and registered a website for JP and have all the old movie clips of him and a lot of newer ones also.

I scanned in all of JP’s old yearbooks from Kindergarten to last years and put them on JP’s website

We have a chat room for his friends to share ideas and pictures of them with JP at one time or another.

(www.jpbramlett.com)

And who instills in all of JP’s friends that come over here to OUR HOUSE, EVERYNIGHT of just how precious life is.

And who is arraigning to have a “JAMES PAUL BRAMLETT SCHOLORSHIP” setup?

And will be funded through his friends in several local bands here every 3 months, to hold another “JP-FEST” in remembrance of JP?

We receive doctor bills every day here at MY home. Does Denise receive any of those?

I paid for all my children a “graduation tassel” in remembrance of James graduation this year if he would have survived the automobile accident he was involved in.

I made “VHS” tapes of JP and included the “JP-FEST”, for Calvin and Ricky (her sons) and sent them to them

in Germany and in Michigan.

The bottom line in this entire matter is this. I love ALL my sons and have done for them all

Even AFTER Denise and myself was divorced.

And that Judy and I raised and provided 100% in every way for James Paul Bramlett.

And he was raised with love and care.

I think this court should take all of this into consideration, before granting Janet Denise Bramlett, one red cent!

But a Local Judge threw me in jail after I put on my late son’s website the details of the

Outcome of the trial.

My ex-wife got 43% and belittled my late Son’s name in court in front of all his friends and it was disgusting in what the questioning the Judge allowed.

And I paid all the funeral costs and the cost of his headstone.

All my ex-wife was after was simply “BLOOD MONEY” and I gave it to her, because that showed her true self. She never cared for our son and never gave a dime in helping raise him. And that was all fine, UNTIL THIS JUDGE ALLOWED HER LAWYERS TO ASK QUESTIONS THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY LATE Son.

http://www.jpbramlett.com/

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