Members justinsmom23 Posted January 8, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2009 Exactly 1 year ago today my familes lives changed forever! Even as i write this, I cannot believe this has happen! Its like a play or something and I am waiting for the curtain to go down and have everything go back to normal. I am growing weiry! The emotional rollarcoaster of this tragedy is so very exausting! Anyway, I am going for a tattoo today to celebrate his life! It will be his name "Justin" with a halo over the J...I hope I don't chickin out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members arc4ever Posted January 8, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2009 I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you today. I am already feeling the fear of the one year anniversary and that won't be until March 25th for me. May you find some comfort today. Good luck on the tattoo, I'm thinking of doing the same thing on the one year date. You can do it, you won't chicken out - you are doing this to honor your child, you will find the strength and don't worry when the tears come, as I am certain they will. We cry for what we have lost, we cry because we long to hold them again, we cry for so many reasons. Please know you are in the thoughts and prayers of many. Much love, Terrie (Adam's mom) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members justinsmom23 Posted January 8, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2009 Thank you so much Adam's mom! I will get the tattoo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted January 8, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2009 SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS...I TOO HAVE A LOSS...READ MY PROFILE......IM GOING TO GET TATTOO S ALSO THE SAME ONE KOURTNEY HAS....I HAVE SOME BUT WANT HERS ON ME, JUST HAVE NOT DONE IT YET...GO FOR IT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted January 8, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2009 You made it one year!! That is a huge accomplishment as far as I am concerned.You are so right-on when you say "I still cannot believe my child is gone!" Six months on 12-19-08 for us and it is still hard.Our community paper wrote a summary of the years events and Brian's accident was part of June 2008. It has been 6 months and the court dates are still coming. On 1-21-09, Mike will plead no-contest to the charge of Homicide by neglegent use of a motor vehicle - a felony. The sentencing should be sometime in March of 09. Once this craziness if over, I really think my mind will be able to move on.I am still in my anger stage: angry at the other 2 boys who lived; angry that my family is no longer intact; and just angry. I know I will truley not come to peace with this until I forgive the boy who killed my son. How do I do that? Right now that seems so far away.Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members justinsmom23 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 I got the Tattoo! It is wonderful. Thanks for the encouragement! Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tanmanmymagicman Posted January 9, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 I have been thinking of a tattoo for my Tanner also; something I always discouraged my kids from getting; I think about it a lot; a heart with him name in the middle but where to I put it; big or little; do I want people to see it or not????????Until I decide I am waiting as I don't want any more regrets; Bless everyone here; I love all of you and the way we are able to read and write about our loss; Like everyone I did not think I could live without my son #1 I would of never , never in a million years think I would lose a child; I complained to God about the problems he was having and asked him why ???? he would give me such a child (who I loved more than life itself); Tanner was always pushing the limits ; drove me crazy 1/2 the time; but I never thought this; Everyday is a different day; sometimes I think it depends if I take my sleeping aids I think they may depress me the next day and this dreary weather does not help much;My heart goes out to you and your one year date; Its damn, hard ; as if we have not been through enough. My Tanner was 16; fearless; lived life like he was going to die tomorrow; He left this world Aug.7, 2007; Our family is still trying to get it together; my oldest son feels he should of done more for his younger brother; and sometimes I do too; BUT i do not blame Anyone other than myself and my husband; he was just a child and he slipped through the cracks that morning. Bless all of you tonight; I hope you all sleep well; I hope you all can sleep; I had problems before now they are worse; its horrible............................................................................................. Its a new year and I have been getting all these bright and cheery emails; I have actually printed a few out and am going to try to live by the ideas. Cindy Tanners moma gama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members justinsmom23 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 Hi Kourtney's mom!I went and got my tattoo yesterday! What a great idea to get the same tattoo as Kourtney! I have "Justin" written in script with a twinkling halo over the "J" ! It is right above my hip/pelvic bone on the left side. I really love it. I have a friend/neighbor that went thru the same thing you are going thru. I think after 7 years she has finally made peace with the situation. The boy that killed her son in a car accident has to live with that for the rest of his life! I think she finally realized the impact of that. The boy was drunk and had just had a fight with his girlfriend. He pulled out of a driveway like a mad man and killed her son 1 week after he started college! So sad! She has been such a sorce of comfort for me since Justin's death a year ago! I really don't think I would have made it thru this year if not for my friend's! I am thinking of you and wishing you peace! Lets keep in touch! Kind Thoughts, Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members justinsmom23 Posted January 10, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 Good Morning Tanner's mom! I don't know if this will help or not, but when Justin passed away a year ago, a very wise, dear friend said "you know, not everyone who comes here is meant to live 80 years". It is true. We think we are all here for a long time and it just isn't the case. Some only live a few hours others, a few years. Some are lucky ( or not ) to live till 100! Maybe we will someday all understand why we are here, and what we are suppose to do! Please just take care of yourself and don't grieve from guilt! I am confident that you did everything you could do for Tanner! His life was his journey and you could not control that! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! Kind Thoughts, Debbie (justinsmom23) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tanmanmymagicman Posted January 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 Hi Debbie; Can I Just tell you how much your email touched my heart. I have never thought of it that way. Thank you so much! Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I think everyone on this site handles their grief different; Some seem so strong and full of energy and are doing healthy things to move on. I do so agree with what you wrote; Just pick up the newspaper; infants, to a lot of people that live to their 80 and 90;s. I lost my first husband when we were both 25 with 2 young kids and I asked my grandma why? why no dad for my kids? why he was so young? My grandma who was a real Christian said that it does not make sense to us now but when we died it will all be relieved and make sense ; so I try to hand on to that; I have more faith that I will see my son in some form again; Again Debbie; a big HUG and thank you so much........ I know I should not blame myself but that his the human mortal side of me. If only ?????? ya know. I am doing so much better though. Have a great day; Cindy; Tanner's mama gama; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members justinsmom23 Posted January 10, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 Well Tanner's mom, Cindy, It makes my heart smile to know I may have made things just a bit better for you, if only for a while! I think about what I said to you when I get sad and it always seems to help a bit! Please, lets keep in touch! Wishing you peace, Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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