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LHS Student

Research Paper

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LHS Student

Hi Everyone, my name is Emily and I am a 17 year old high school student.  I am conducting a research paper on the impact of suicide on the family and the feelings that come with losing a loved one by suicide.  The paper must include primary research, therefore I am trying to collect information online from people who have experienced these situations.  I know this is a very touchy subject for many so i do not want to over step my boundaries, but if anyone is willing to answer some questions for me that would be very helpful. 


1. How old was the loved one you lost?


2. What was your personal connection to them?


3. What emotions did you feel after the suicide?


4. How long did it take to accept the loss?


5. What steps did you take to overcome the loss?


6. Was the person who committed suicide suffering from an illness?


7. How did the suicide effect the community?


If you have anything else you would like to say on the topic please do so. 


Thank you for your time, my condolences to anyone who has lost a loved one by suicide!


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ElemmireAnini

1. How old was the loved one you lost?


  • 25

2. What was your personal connection to them?


  • We were engaged.  Dated for 2 years.  Engaged for 2.5 years.
  • We lived together for 3 years.

3. What emotions did you feel after the suicide?


  • Fear.  I can't explain exactly why but I was afraid of absolutely everything.

4. How long did it take to accept the loss?


  • It's been 2.5 years and I have not completely accepted it.  

5. What steps did you take to overcome the loss?


  • I took a lot of time off from work.  I was in a masters program (still in it because of this) and stopped all my research.  I continued to go to class so I wouldn't be alone all the time.
  • I drank a lot, it was the only way I could talk about him.  I tend to be very aggressive and can't stand being vulnerable.
  • I traveled.  I hated staying in one place too long.  I wanted to meet as many new people as possible.
  • I started dating almost immediately.  I needed to know that there could still be love.

6. Was the person who committed suicide suffering from an illness?


  • He had borderline personality disorder
  • He had antisocial personality and was possibly a psychopath 

7. How did the suicide effect the community?


  • Our community mostly included those in our department.  We were in the same masters program.  Most people tended to be very quiet about it and very defensive of me.  Fools were no suffered by this group.  Insensitive new comers were frequently ignored.  Despite the people in our community feeling bad for me and feeling like they needed to take care of me most people were to afraid of doing the wrong thing to ever help me in any real way.
  • The rest of the college completely ignored the fact that a student died.  The department help a memorial service and a few officials attended.  But they never spoke to me.  If they had to talk to me they looked like they might spit on me.
  • My family was useless.  My mother would never talk to me about it.  My father said to me "You never loved him so why are you so upset".  But of course I loved him.  My brothers never talked about it except to ask what he looked like when he died.  

 


 


 


His family absolutely hate and blame me.  They tell people that he killed himself because I was a whore.  Which is laughable because he was the one sleeping with other woman AND telling his mother about it.  I can get very angry about all of it.  I developed heart problems because of the stress.  People say terrible things to me when they hear part of the story.  Other people tell me I'm strong and doing so well.  


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LHS Student

Thank you for sharing your story.  Im so sorry for all you have been through and wish you the best in your future! xx

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