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mybabyisgone

Noone understands...

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mybabyisgone

I lost my 13 year old daughter to suicide July 7,2014.....I sent my 10 yr old upstairs to get my oldest and I will never get her screams"my sisters dead"out of my mind....we ran upstairs and to my horror found my little princess hanging in her closet...my husband got her down and I immediately began CPR...but her lips were so cold-she was vomiting and belching so I thought she had to be alive and continued to try breath life into her body,police finally got there and just stared at me as I begged for help...ambulance came and barely even tried to help her!! I kept screaming at them to keep trying please don't stop and they put her on one of those things and carried her down the stairs they said shed be fine and told us to meet them at the hospital....the ambulance went so slow I knew something was wrong the look on the doctors face confirmed it...now all these people think I need to "force being happy" and "learn to let go"Can you believe it!!!!Telling me it will get better- no it won't.My baby is gone forever and nothing will ever be happy or even ok again.I just want to be with her...but I have 3 little girls who have gone through agonizing trauma as well...they are in therapy but I wish I could maintain some semblance of normalcy for their sake.My constant crying can't be good for them but what can I do??I dont want to feel so tortured and empty and incomplete but I do I can't control these tears.What can I do?

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budd2119

Wow. I am so sorry for your loss. I hate your daughter is the one that found her. Next week will be 8 months since I lost my wife. I can imagine loosing my son. Unfortunately you will have to be stronger for your other children. They are going through the same thing and will be looking to you for strength. It has gotten easier for me but I still have moments almost every day where I cant control myself. Continue with the counseling. I wish I could give better advise. Sorry again for your loss.

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mybabyisgone

Thanks bud I appreciate your reply.

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catreturns

Hi.  I am new to this site.  I can't figure out how to post my story.  Can anyone help me with this? 

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