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backyarder1

Widow's brain

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backyarder1

I wanted to ask the rest of you about a condition that I call "widow's brain." Ever since Tom died, I feel like my brain is only working at about 10 or 20% of its capacity. As soon as a thought enters my mind, I have to immediately write it down, or it slips away. I have heard other widows saying that they are suffering from the same thing. My question is, how long does it last and is there any way to spend along the process to get back to full use of my brain!

 

Thanks again to everyone here who has been so supportive to me.

 

Betsy

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andysgirl

It's been 15 months since my boyfriend passed & my brain is still mush. I've never been forgetful and now same thing, if I don't write it down or triple check something it's like "poof" gone. It's frustrating but I suppose common when your mind is preoccupied with other stuff.

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backyarder1

I just wonder if there is an actual medical reason that this is happening, other than just the fact that we are preoccupied. Some level of something in our bodies that is low that we could somehow supplement right now.

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tnwulf0513

Just so you know.. it affects us guys to. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have also found that my concentration/attention span is in the toilet as well.

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backyarder1

LOL. Well, good thing we aren't all in a room together. I can imagine the dis-jointed conversation!

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Frenchie's Doris
 

It has been a relief to hear about widows brain and to know I'm not alone and not going crazy and that it is a natural part of what we're going through.  I did find somethign someone wrote on this website  = a man wrote a post called widowers brain... but I cant find the link now.

 

a couple of lother inks I've found (I'm going to put them here so maybe if I come back to this thread I can find these links again...) 

 

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/effects-of-bereavement.html

 

and another widow who's fiancee drowned. She writes a blog. Her website is "refuge in grief"

 

http://us7.campaign-archive1.com/?u=65cb04e36e42aca80e299ef67&id=cc6170f52e&e=503bc56b58

 

She seems to think it can take up to 2 years as that is when she started getting some "higher functions" back.

 

i think just writing everything down is the only way we can function. 

 

 

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backyarder1

Wow. Both of those links are excellent. Thanks so much for sharing.

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Dr. Pat

Yes - this phenomenon of really noticeable poor memory affects all kinds of brains in loss - children, men and women. I'm about a year and a half out from the loss of my husband and had a emotional crash yesterday morning. I notice that after these crashes it seems to hit me worse. For example, I parked my car, had my keys in my pocket, but immediately (I mean within 1 minute!) forgot that I had parked my car, not the attendant. To his surprise, there I was standing in front of him asking for my ticket stub so I could later pick up my keys. 

It's these kinds of episodes where you seriously wonder if you are losing it - losing your mind. Take heart - you're not! I'm on my second loss of a husband and I know from my experience, as well as my training as a grief counselor, that it does go away. 

Pat, Thriving Despite Grief.

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backyarder1

LOL. That is funny, Dr. Pat. Thanks for sharing. I don't know if I have done anything quite like that yet. I may have, and just don't remember!!

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Dr. Pat

Well - count that as a blessing if you can't remember doing anything like that!! It's pretty unnerving!

Pat, Thriving Despite Grief

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backyarder1

LOL. I bet that it is. I can kind of just laugh about it now when I can never find my keys or anything. I just always double check to make sure the stove is off and everything before I go anywhere.

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erip

Thanks everyone for the links shared.

 

I feel the same! I forget about appointments and things i need to do. Some days ago I even left my debit card on the ATM and last week I was trying to open the door of my house with the keys from my office (they are totally different and i have a keychain for my house and another one for my office).

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