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GraceTree

I lost my mom. It's just so hard.

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GraceTree

My mom hung herself a little over a year ago, December 2012. I think I was in shock for a year. I have a really supportive church community that was there for me, but they still didn't know exactly what to do. I didn't work for the first few months, and then I finally took a job, went overseas on a mission trip, and then took another job that ended this past December. And then I felt left with nothing.

 

The second year of grief has felt much harder than the first. I no longer feel like I have the support that I had last year. I feel truly alone and empty. I met my boyfriend on the day my mom died, and as grateful as I am for him, I feel like I tend to hide out with him. And when he and I fight, I feel like there is no one left on this earth that loves me unconditionally the way my mom did.

 

I came here because I am looking for answers. How long does it take to finally feel better? 2 years? 3 years? 10 years? How do you get through it? When will my life be normal again? When will I be truly happy again? I feel so desperate. I hope one of you wonderful people can shed some light. Thank you.

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sincerelysherry

Grace, I sent you a private message.

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cheerz456

I just wanted to start off telling you that I am sorry for  your loss.  I can relate to you in so many areas. I lost my mom to suicide in April of this year.  I too have a strong church community to fall back on yet, it is true, most of them do not know what to do or say to comfort me.  Honestly, they end up making it worse by saying things like "It was Gods plan" or "God will never put more on you than you can bare" or "Time will help".  I find none of these cliches to be true.  I had a father and a sister whom I lost to various health conditions so that left me alone.  All I have is my husband and I have to admit, I am far too dependent upon him now that he is all I have left.  I am clingy and have separation anxiety when he is not around.  I find that I cant function normally and it is hard to think that I ever will again.  I am still working but it is very hard to focus on my job because I can relate everything back to her.  I have been researching suicide since she left me and I have read that the average time it takes for a family member to heal after a loss to suicide is 4 years.  Of course this is different for everyone and honestly, I dont see myself ever being at peace with this.  I feel like it is a burden I will carry my whole life.  I wish I had more advice to give you but I dont.  All I can say is I feel some of the same feelings as you do and Im left with the same questions. Just know that you are not completely alone in this.  Your story helped me.  Thank you for sharing. 

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sincerelysherry

GraceTree, just stopping by to check on you and see how you are doing? I pray that you have some found some measure of comfort and peace. My thoughts and prayers are still with you. God bless you. Sincerely, Sherry

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