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kelseyy

Boyfriend Suicide Attempt

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kelseyy

I am new to this..

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. I have known him for about a year and a half. He has been battling depression for the past 3 1/2 years. He has been to many different therapists. He has been on many different medications. When I met him, God knew exactly what He was doing because I was in a tough place. My boyfriend took all the broken pieces of my life and put them back together. He showed me how to trust somebody again. He showed me that life has meaning. He showed me that I have a meaning. 

 

Every once in a while he will get his phone taken by his parents (I'm 15 he is 16) for low grades or back-talking to his mom.This is when he says his depression kicks in because he feels like a horrible person because his parents are 'mad' and he doesn't talk to many people about it. (We talk ALL the time when he has his phone).

 

He got his phone taken. Then I got a call from a good friend of mine (his cousin) saying that he is in a suicidal facility and won't be out for another week and a half... I got the call during class and immediately started crying in front of everybody. Apparently the day after he got his cell phone taken away he got yelled at by his mom and ran into the kitchen to grab the knife, but his older brother stopped him THANKFULLY! (his brother now has about 20 stitches). 

 

I feel like it's my fault. I normally call him after school on his house phone to talk when he gets his cell phone taken, but I didn't. I was studying. I feel horrible about it all. I don't know how to deal with this. It's not fair.

 

PLEASE help me I really need some advice

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ModKonnie

Kelseyy,

Your boyfriend's struggles are absolutely no way your fault. You cannot be responsible for making sure he doesn't hurt someone or himself--he has to figure that out himself. You are far too young to be dealing with this situation, and I'm going to offer a piece of advice that maybe you may not want to hear--I believe you need to take a step back from this relationship and allow your boyfriend to get some seriously needed help.

Do your parents know what you just told us? What is their reaction?

I realize you may love this young man very much--but you simply cannot fix this situation, and you shouldn't be carrying this type of horrible responsibility at your age. You shouldn't have to deal with this, and you are right--it's not fair, but it is what it is.

I believe if you haven't confided in your parents, perhaps you should. Also, a school counselor would be an excellent source of support as you figure out your role in a situation where someone has a mental health issue you are totally not prepared to deal with.

Please get an adult involved--(preferably someone other than HIS parents).

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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remainhopeful

You sound like a very good and loving friend. For that you should be commended. As a good friend you have to remember that there are times when the best thing to do is to step back and allow professionals to help.  So please allow that to happen with your bf.  This is not your fault in any way.  Mental health and suicide is a very complex thing.  By talking to a school counselor or some other responsible adult, you will find that you will feel better and will be able to put things in perspective.  If you have a family doctor that you normally go to, consider making an appointment to see him/her.  That will open the door to you being able to talk to someone who can also direct you in the right direction.  Be assured that there are many adults who have experienced feelings similar to yours.  You are not alone but take the first step and reach out.  I know you can do it. 

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