ADC's, Visions & Dreams

[lauraanne]

junecleaver42,

I also sent winsome57 a post. I hope I did ok. Sometimes I feel so inadequate with things like that. I used to think I was pretty good at it, but now it seems like I am trying to figure out who I am again.

I hope you figure out who it is that has the coumadin levels that need to be checked.

[swede1]

Junecleaver42,

Oh my goodness! Coumadin levels!? That's what MY Mom was on...and what caused her to internally hemorrhage after her first transfer to the rehab center - they thought she was going to die right then and there, and though she didn't, she never recovered the use of her arm or legs the same way as she had after her first stroke. The Emerg. doc admitted to me that they'd bumped up her levels just before her transfer and that it was, indeed, an overdose. They couldn't even do exploratory surgery to find the bleeding cuz she was in such a fragile state to begin with. Coumadin is the most dangerous drug on the market (all the literature says so) yet they hand it out like it's some kind of miracle, when low-dose aspirin usually does the trick just as well and far more safely. It's a blood- thinner, if you didn't know, and reacts badly with huge numbers of other drugs, herbs, foods....yet they don't seem to monitor these possible interactions very well in institutions. I hope this dream wasn't a message from MY Mom through your daughter! (we're all connected, so it's not an impossibility) I've always wondered if they hadn't been mucking with her dosage again before she had her last, massive stroke. I hope this message can be tracked down and is meant for someone else who can still be helped!

Read your post on the other forum. I'm so sorry you ended up having a bad time of it. Maybe, because of all your busyness, the bathroom was the only place LEFT where your body and mind (they're connected, too, don't forget! And they KNOW where you live!LOL!) could get some down-time to get those feelings out? Hope you're doing a bit better today, but if not, that's okay, too. We're gonna go through whatever we have to, I guess. Blessings to you.

[lauraanne]

seeking solace and friends here,

I think I have figured out why I can't relax and concentrate to contact by brother. It just came to me when I was driving down the road yesterday and it is so simple.

I believe it is because if I were to see him appear to me and talk to me, then I would have to accept that he is really gone. And then I would just break down again instead of enjoy the communication. I guess I am just not ready to accept it yet... I thought that I was stronger than that.

[lauraa]

Laura Anne,

I think you are right about your reason for not relaxing enough to be able to have your brother come thru to you. I think the hardest part for me was/is accepting that my husband is really gone. I feel I go thru many different stages with this. I think it was around the 9th month after he passed and 9 solid months of continuous crying and deep profound grieving I told myself that in order to communicate with him in anyway I would need to accept the fact that I will never be able to be with him again on this earth and that I would then be able to move forward with my pursuit of the "afterlife". Knowing that he lives on is just about the only thing that keeps me going...besides my kids that is! And, knowing that he is not suffering like he did and is walking and with his family guiding us in all we do. You to will find this with time. I pray for all here daily.

[lauraanne]

Lauraa,

Thank you. Your post brought tears and so I must be going thru one of these stages indeed. Thank you for helping me to do that and for sharing. Thanks for your prayers too, I need lots of those right now, (and believe me it would take too many pages to read to tell you why!) Thanks a lot friend.

L

[swede1]

To both Laura's,

I, too, remember feeling this way and would recoil in fear of experiencing that thought of never being able to hold and be physically with my loved ones. It took a LONG time to let in those feelings, and I could only do it in millisecond intervals at a time (I'm not kidding!). It must be another one of those common things we feel, and the insight you've gained with this WILL help in the long run. I could only push myself to 'advance' through those things for maybe minutes at a time, too. I ended up considering it as part of that new journey with my loved one, that continuance of our relationship (since we're never truly "apart"; there IS no separation in Love), and that helped, too. My sympathies to both of you - I know how much it hurts. Keep reminding yourselves to be as gentle and accepting as you can be with yourselves and your feelings. XOXOXOXOXX

[lauraa]

Lauraanne and Swede1,

O.K. now I'm crying...thanks for your supportive posts. I think we all have stages of numbness that we go thru with our grief....I think the last 6 weeks that is what I've been doing...I think it is a numbness (not crying) that helps me get thru the darkness. Maybe it is all to much...even for me, "the strong one"! It's funny when everyone views you like this how they think even I can breeze thru loosing the love of my life. What they all don't realize is that nothing really matters to me anymore(only my kids) and every minute of everyday is a struggle to get thru.....so, our psychic does what it needs to in order to protect us to get us thru this. I could very easily become a home body. Mediumship has helped me tremendously. I would have been lost without the positive readings I have gotten thru them. They have told me things they would never have known and have given me a gift to know my husband lives on...You all hang in there and together we will lift each other.

[noidofmyown]

To Lauraa ( and anyone else this may help): Yesterday, I went with my 10 year old daughter to a "kids count camp", put on by hospice. It was a very moving yet wonderful day for everyone. Each child was given a "buddy" to spend the day with, and us grownups had our own groups talking about our own grief as well as how to help our children. It was not all "heavy", as there were clowns and jokes to lift our spirits. One of the leaders talked about profound grief, and getting through it. She said that sometimes, trying to get through the day was too much, and there are times that all of us had trouble getting through the moment--- like when we cry so hard we can't catch our breath. She had all of us practice taking in a deep, cleansing breath, while concentrating on the positive love we felt from our loved ones. Then we exhaled, slowly. We all felt much calmer afterward. As she said," You may not feel like you can make it through the day, but this will help you make it through the moment".

[lauraanne]

noidofmyown,

Thank you. I DO need relaxation techniques. I have noticed lately that I need to just take a breath sometimes! I am going to try the excercise that you gave. Thanks for sharing.

L

[lauraanne]

To my friends here,

For whatever it's worth...the dragonflys have been around me like crazy still! A much older boy shoved my boy around at school and I have been worried about it and this morning, on the drive to school, a large dragonfly flew in front of me and hovered while at a stop light and then flew to my son's window and then circled the car. Then across town at the school as my son was getting out of the car it looked like the same dragonfly, (but couldn't have been!), hovered in front of me again and just hovered over my hood all of the way out of the parking lot. At first I thought maybe it was a warning because I am worried. But then I thought maybe it is a message that my brother or God is going to be there to protect my son today.

Another thing that unsettled me last night is...as I was trying to fall asleep I thought I heard a females voice call my name. My eyes popped open and I listened thinking maybe it was just my son calling from his room. I thought that maybe I was half asleep and had started dreaming or something..I don't know maybe that is what is was. Then of course I wonder if someone was calling me from the other side but I can't for the life of me think who it could have been or why.

L

[swede1]

Lauraanne, and all others,

Here's another meditative technique, one that I USED to do 2x/day for 20 mins. each time, but even 3 minutes, or at a stop when driving helps! (it also seems to clear traffic quite well! Bonus!)This is a meditation Wayne Dyer promotes.

Relax first with a few deep breaths to blow some tension out. Breath in thru the nose and out thru the mouth. On the exhalations, say "Aaaaaahhhhhh..." (most of the various names for God have that short "o" sound for their vowels, so you are summoning that connection to your Source this way). Concentrate on the FEELING you want to experience in your life (you can visualize an event that would bring on this feeling for you beforehand) as you exhale. This is the morning meditation.

For the evening one, breath the same but make your vocalization "OOOoooohhhhmmmm..." and instead of the 'wishing' for a feeling part, concentrate on every little bit of gratitude and thanks to your Source for all the good things you may have to be grateful for that day. I actually usually get more peaceful-feeling with the "gratitude" one. Feel free to do either one if one feels better for you, but they really are designed to work hand in hand to bring you what you want in your life (except maybe for raising the dead.....I couldn't get that to work yet!)I often try to create the feeling I would have, as far as I can imagine, of being totally enlightened, or something like that, as that covers MANY bases for peaceful existence and joy, and would also make me realize that my loved ones are RIGHT THERE WITH ME. Sound like a plan? These were apparently brought/offered to Wayne Dyer by some guru-type guy who's well known...but I don't remember who he is now!LOLOL!

[seekingsolace]

Hi Everyone.

It is good to see so much support in the group : ) You really have been there for each other. Isn't that what "being" is all about? Reaching out, connecting, caring, helping, feeling compassion, loving each other. It warms my heart to see it. The light of each soul DOES make a difference. I hope each of you recognizes what a gift you are and what a difference you are making in each other's lives.

A big hello to JuneCleaver42{Carol} and any other newcomers in the group since I posted last [7.13.05].

I apologize for not having been on the group recently ...My very old dog is in what I believe to be an active dying process and she has needed a good deal of support as of late. She has been up and down but my gut tells me that it is her time. I believe in making the dying process as comfortable and peaceful as possible. It is really about putting things in her hands and the hands of the Big Kahuna/God and then just getting out of the way ...Standing by but not interfering.

Swede1, Lauraa, Songbird, Noidofmyown, Elena82 ...hello.

Lauraanne [see 7.23.05]: Your brother IS with you. His physical body is not but HE is. We are so much more than our physical bodies. I know we, in physical body, are very attached to the physical. That is normal. But that is NOT our real state. It just feels real. Your brother is very much alive. He is not gone. Just his body.

Ashleyraesmom: I am thinking of you. Have you had your baby yet? Have you heard from Ashley Rae?

yarsa0513 ... Are you still there?

staynfreeusa03: hello. Have you had more butterfly signs?

Please remember to keep trusting in your feelings. Yes ..The things you wonder about being signs ARE signs.

Know that I am with all of you in spirit even if you do not see me on the group regularly for a while [because of my dear dog]. I think of you often.

[swede1]

Seekingsolace,

I'm so sorry to hear about your furgirl's condition. I had hoped that wasn't why you weren't around, but suspected it might be. I'm so glad, though, to hear you're doing everything you can to make her possible transition as easy as possible. If that's where you have to put your attention, then do what you must - we'll be fine...and of course, if YOU need support from her crossing, there is the board for that here and I'll be the first to stand by your side!!! I know how painful it is to lose such dear ones and I hope you know you'd get my support in an instant for that. I wish you both to receive the most out of your shared experience that is possible. My heartfelt empathy to you and your furgirl, as well as my prayers for peaceful everythings in relation to this. Take good care, of yourself and your gal and give her a loving ((((hug)))) from me.

[yarsa0513]

Yes, i'm still here.. just mostly reading everyone elses posts. I'm doing much better that when I originally posted to this site. It has been a month since my father passed away... i'm dealing with it better, more focused on my mom now and how she's doing without him. Other than the one time I closed my eyes two weeks ago and saw my father's face... I haven't been able to relax enough to focus on him. My daughter had a beautiful dream that my father was walking her to school. She shared it with me and I felt wonderful with her. Seekingsolace.. i'm so sorry about your dog.. i'll be praying for both of you.

Sandi

[lauraanne]

seekingsolace,

Thank you for your words. You always bring such peace with the words you share here. I can't thank you enough. I know and believe what you said about my brother, but I guess I AM attached to the physical and will need to have it beat into my head to finally accept the unseen. (smile) Or maybe it will just take a long time because I do find myself putting up a wall for a few days at a time to block out the waves of emotions that I am feeling.

I'm sorry about your dog. I will send prayers of comfort and strength. He is lucky to have you. (And so are we!)

L

[songbird]

Seekingsolace,

It's nice to hear from you, but I am very sorry to hear about your dog. Our pets are our baby's and I can understand what you must be going through. My prayers are with you and support is here for you if you need it. Thanks for all of your support, always. Things are getting a little better here. I almost feel that I am relaxing enough to see the few signs here and there that I have gotten. I am still waiting to see my father's presence. I don't know if I am truly ready for it, but I am trying to relax enough to let him in.

Yarsa, it is nice to hear you are feeling better... Hello's and hugs to all.

[elena82]

Hi everybody,

I had a new experience that I wanted to share with you.

Last night I had a dream. I was just dreaming about me being at work. And then my mobile phone started to ring (in my dream), I picked up and it was Steven! I immediately told him how much I miss him and how much I wanted to hold him in my arms and never wanted to let him go. He laughed (I was so happy to hear his sweet laughter) and said 'Ooh My sweetie'. Then someone kept talking to me (don't know who) and I told this person to wait until my phone call was done. When I pick up the phone again, he was gone... I woke up and persuaded myself to go back to the same dream and to wait for another phone call. I succeeded going back to the same scene, but when my mobile rang again, it was someone pretending to be Steven!! In the beginning, even if I had a feeling it wasn't him, I just kept asking million question, because I was afraid that I couldn't get the chance again. Of course the answers didn't make sense and I was sure that now it wasn't him...

Seekingsolace, do you know what this dream mean? Is it because I forced the second call that it was someone else on the phone and who was that? Another spirit? ... I didn't succeeded seeing him again by the way and I experiencing less signs (I think), maybe I'm less aware... don't know...

Seekingsolace, I hope your doing well under the circumstances and wish you the best. I hope that you know how much difference you made in my (our) grieving process. Having less unanswered questions does make a difference and you boosted my beliefs...

Also... two weeks ago someone I knew committed suicide and he came in my dream last week. In my dream he cutted a bright yellow sweater (apparrently mine, although it wasn't mine...) Does someone knows what the colour yellow means?

Bless you all here... I read the posts every day and it really helps me...

Elena

[withani]

I don't know what the color yellow means but I DO know I had been asking for a sign from my significant other of 11 years who passed early January and when I was cutting my grass a few weeks ago a YELLOW bursted balloon in the shape of a sun feel out of the sky and landed at my feet!!! I will be interested to know what that color means as well!!!!!!!! I'm taking it as a good sign that my beloved Gary is in a good place.

I've also had many unusual things happen...like blow dryers going off in the middle of the night...feeling someone hug me from behind...fax machine going off 30 minutes into the middle of a conversation...??????????????

I also had a dream that Gary was coming to get me and he was shooting bows and arrows and I told him "I can't go yet"???????

I am very interested in the ADC, Visions and Dreams and hope that I can speak to people here....I'm very lost...can't speak to many about this because they look at me like I've lost it!!!

Sincerely,

Cindi

[swede1]

Elana82 and withani,

Yellow can mean:

Connected with the emotional self, and its attributes are thinking, detachment and judgement. If it is a precognitive dream, it means setbacks and struggles before achievement can be had.

Balloons in a dream:

Often the colour is what's the most important, but it can also indicate a party mood or (sorry!) a desire for sex. Balloons may also mean a note of fun in something serious. AND, are also a symbol for joy or even the SPIRIT RISING. Isn't that nice?!

There was no easy, clear (by itself) meaning for sweaters, unfortunately, but colour of clothes was often important.

Hope this helps you two figure out your signs/symbols!

[withani]

swede1 thank you for the information but in my case...the balloon was not a dream...I have it! It feel out of the sky for real!!! I had been asking for some kinda of sign that Gary was happy and alright on the other side and while cutting my grass a few weeks ago it just feel out of the sky and landed at my feet.

I picked it up and it's in a perfect round circle with fringe all the way around it like the sun...I stuck in my pocket and now have it hanging from the mirror in my room. I feel like it's a gift from Gary to let me know he's alright.

What do you think?

Cindi

[seekingsolace]

Hi Everyone.

I am just popping in for a few minutes tonight again to say hi. Thank-you ...all of you ...for your warm words of support. I really appreciate your kindness.

Swede1: hugs back to you : )

A warm welcome to Withani [Cindi] : ) Yes Cindi ..The balloon IS a sign from Gary. It fell from the sky ...A very direct sign from him that he is alive and well. The fact that it is a balloon might have personal meaning for him or you as might the colour yellow. Here is an example: the balloon is yellow and in the shape of a sun ...That might have been the closest representation to God/Higher Power/Other Side energy that Gary could muster. The light over there is golden whitish, soft, and many people associate God with the sun. Balloons also rise up ...like spirit. But in this case, the balloon came down ..to you ...like Gary's spirit touching you. But the key is your own personal interpretation of things. Look inside your heart for the meaning rather than your mind. Your heart knows.

The dryers going off, the fax ...same thing. Very direct contact going on here. As well as the dream. Gary is being very precise in trying to say hello and let you know that he is with you.

For Elena 82: Steven came to you in that dream ...most definitely. And, as you suspected, I do believe that it was another spirit that was "interfering with the transmission" in the dream when you went back to sleep. And I believe that that spirit is the reason why communication with Steven was also cut short. [i.e. notice how the person kept trying to talk to you when you were trying to talk to Steven and you told them to wait until your call was finished? This is someone that noticed an open line of communication to you and wants to get a message through to you for either you or someone else. But they can definitely wait their turn. It's ok to say before bed .."I want only Steven to contact me. Only Steven is allowed" It's like giving only him your phone number. Can you think of who else would need to speak to you so adamantly? Perhaps the person who committed suicide 2 weeks ago? I'm not sure. What do you think?]

For Songbird: I am glad that you are relaxing enough to get some signs. Relaxing does make a difference. It opens us up just that much more. Since you are ready to connect with your father, do let him know that clearly. That way he knows that he won't be intruding and it's ok to say hello.

For Lauraanne: It's normal to try to wall/block out emotions for days when you're grieving. Just know that it's part of your process right now. Just go with whereever you are at. No need to fight the wind. Just allow yourself to "be" and know that that is ok. One moment at a time.

It is normal to be attached to the physical. If we were all able to remember who we were ...our essence ...the fact that we are beings of spirit ...then we would able to sense the physical and the spirit as extensions of the same thing. A practical example: When your brother was still in physical body, did you ever have a sense of him being in the room even before you physically heard him or saw him? Have you ever had this sense with anyone? ..Sort of like the lights being off in a room but you sense someone is there and you might even know who it is? That is a practical example of sensing someone's "spirit"/true form. We are so much more than our bodies. But we do get enormous comfort from the body. The irony is that the spirit can give us so much more. A body is just a body without love. And love is not a physical thing at all. A little training and guidance is all that is needed here. One step at a time.

To feel less overwhelmed ...You could have a talk with your subconscious to help it help you feel the emotions in a way that is gentle ...instead of overwhelming you. [this is going to sound quite funky but it works surprisingly well ...] You can say "Subconscious ...please help my heart to stay open and to feel gently but not be overwhelmed. Please take any emotions from my consciousness that will overwhelm me and help me instead to feel a sense of gentle peace and comfort [or whatever you would like to feel]". In this way, you are not suppressing anything [because your subconscious is processing it] and you are still staying open to receive signs [if that is what you choose].

For Yarsa513 [sandi}: It is good to hear from you again : ) It is wonderful to hear that you have had contact from your father [seen his face when you closed your eyes]. You must have had a moment of relaxation/stillness and he was able to come through. He came through to your daughter as well in her dream. He really wants to have some connection. Perhaps he is helping you feel a little better these days and you might not even know it?

Blessings ...

[meandmom]

hey everyone, i'm new here so i'll be brief. i've had several visits from my mother who left me in 2000.. then my dad went to join her last year..shes come to see me in several of my dreams..i'll never forget them so real so vivid, so beautiful. u never want to wake up.. just want to live in that dream forever.. you see i never got to say good-bye. and hadn't seen my mother 8 months prier to her passing so its been a long time since i saw my mom.and i begged for that chance to say good-bye and was granted that wish..its a feeling u can't discribe but it is very real, and u know in you're heart it's really that person. not a dream...i'd give anything to relive that dream..i miss my mother very much, but i know shes with me and my family,she showed me.. be strong and just know they are with us every step of the way..

[withani]

SeekingSolace I can't thank you enough for commenting on the communication from Gary that has been happening to me...it is very important to me. Gary was my significant other for 11 years and we had a very intense relationship. Unfortunately, when he passed on January 2nd I was out getting my oil changed and never got to say goodbye...a few days before he passed I spoke to him about not feeling connected. You see Gary had a problem with alcohol and was bipolar as well and for 10 months prior to his passing he was basically "out of it" most of the time. We did go dancing on January 1st(we danced every Saturday night) and when I woke up he was sleeping very soundly so I left to get my oil change and spend some Christmas money that was burning a whole in my pocket. That was the last time I saw him alive..his cause of death was acute myocarditis. I think he knew months ahead that he was sick..he had an enlarged heart and he even whispered in my ear while we were on vacation eight months prior that he must prepare me for his death. I couldn't discuss it with him. Now I'm just guilt ridden that I didn't and couldn't hold onto him.

I have had many signs in additon to the ones already mentioned. I'm not afraid to die anymore because I know Gary is waiting for me. He taught me so much in life and appears he's doing the same on the other side. I was concerned because he proclaimed to be an atheist (even though I didn't believe him) and want to make sure he's in good hands.

Sorry for such a long posting...these past eight months have been hell!

Sincerely,

Cindi

[elena82]

Swede thank you for your explanation :-) although I can't figure it out... ;-)

Withani, I've also have experienced that feeling like someone is hugging me from behind... it really felt good.

Seekingsolace, what you said make so much sense! That other spirit must have been the same in the first & second dream. But I don't know who that could be, I don't think it was that friend that committed suicide, because we only knew each other when we were young so... And I recognized him in that dream I had last week with that yellow sweater. In that dream with Steven calling me, when that other spirit kept interfering I saw his fysical body, I can still remember his face, but I'm sure I never met him before... weird...

I'll try your advise... But I don't dream every night or don't remember anything of it. That's also weird, because before Steven passed away, I dreamed every night... Well we'll see :-)

Thanks everybody!!

Elena

[withani]

Elena82...I was glad to hear your response that you've also been hugged!!!! It was kinda strange when it happened because it was just a couple days after Gary's passing and I didn't say anything to anyone except my bestfriend. A few days later I was telling my son about it because he and Gary were very close and he said that week while he was playing video games over his friends (he's 17) that when his friend left the room he felt a hug from behind??!!!

I think your dream is really cool how you were contacted by Stephen...I know what you mean about the dream thing though...I used to dream every night also..now it's now in then after Gary's passing. I think it might be related to the Xanax that I'm still taking.

Take care and hugs!!!

Cindi

[swede1]

Lauraanne,

Regarding my recent birthday, I wanted to let you know, because it turned out so much better than expected, in retrospect, I really suspect it was because my Mom got her hand in there and waved her magic wand to get me as much support as I needed this year. I also got an unexpected gift from another grieving friend! How's THAT for a sign of continuing love?!

[junecleaver42]

Hi everyone, sorry I have not been here lately, the house got struck by lightning a week ago monday. The internet, satelite, air conditioner, furnace, garage door opener, telephones and all three thermostats (triple zoned heating) got fried. I will come back later this week, have so much to do now with work and also other things. Have a nice night, Carol

[withani]

Hello Everyone...I have some questions on dreams that we have of our passed loved ones. As mentioned earlier..I've had a lot of strange things that have happened with blow dryers..fax machines..doors wide open in the winter. The other night I had a dream about my significant other who passed early January...in the dream he had I were revamping a home that we were making into a Bed and Breakfast. Gary was very good at this type of work and just wondered if these dream means anything. Another strange occurence that I have on a regular basis is a lot of times before going to sleep I feel as if the upper part of my body is raising...like floating...if I open my eyes or think about it the sensation stops...just curious if anyone else gets this feeling..it starts with a light headedness??? Cindi

[lauraanne]

Swede1,

I am so happy that you are getting what you need from the people in your life! You deserve it! Positive things are needed in both of our lives right now. (And in everyone here's too!)

I sent you a post on the pet forum with a site that I found.

L

[swede1]

in the dream he had I were revamping a home that we were making into a Bed and Breakfast. Gary was very good at this type of work and just wondered if these dream means anything. Another strange occurence that I have on a regular basis is a lot of times before going to sleep I feel as if the upper part of my body is raising...like floating...if I open my eyes or think about it the sensation stops...just curious if anyone else gets this feeling..it starts with a light headedness??? Cindi

Cindi,

Dreams can be interpreted in different ways. The simplest is to take the predominant feelings and what certain things seem to represent to you personally, and piece them together into a message that makes your own personal sense. Looking at them from a symbols-orientation, one must look at all the DETAILS, like colours, forms, actions, etc., write them all down, then put the pieces into a whole picture (often, even if you're unaware of what each symbol means, all of them together often repeat the same theme!) Sometimes, they're just reflections of what you're currently dealing with in your life. Some are precognizant dreams, to which there are specific guidelines to determine if they are indeed of this type (and I've found that most of the ones I've looked at this way, just in case, didn't turn out to be precognitive at all). So without knowing all the little details (the ones that you remember, that stuck out), it's hard to get enough of a picture of the dream in its entirety to give you an answer. However, buildings as a general rule represent the contructions we make in our lives, ie, attitudes, beliefs, perceptions, habits and customs.

They reflect your character, hopes and concerns. The features of the building reflect your personality - the main appearance of the structure first, it main function, then secondary appearances - these are all qualities of your personality that need to be recognized.

A house, versus a hotel (and I imagine a B&B might be in between these two?) says different things. From there, it depends on what was going on, whether rooms were empty or not, where you were in the building, all sorts of things. However, WORKING ON A HOUSE (repairs, etc.) means you might need to work on relationships, or look at health matters, or look at damage or decay that's occurred in your life. If you can give me more details, I could look those up...although it might be a VERY long response once all the components are put together!

As for your 'light' feeling, although I used to experience something similar when I was a child (and only once as an adult), I have no idea what it means. I always figured it either meant I had a health issue I should look into OR it was some kind of reflection on my mental/emotional state. I do remember that once, when I was I think a preteen, it didn't go away when I opened my eyes, and I had a terrible time getting up and down the hall to call my Mother. It was very frightening and it took several minutes til it went away - my Mom was about to rush me to Emerg. because she thought I might be having a stroke or something! It might have something to do with stress, as many things do, but you might also want to get checked out physically. If you're on any prescription drugs (as many people here are), it could very well be related and you'd need to report this to your doc. On a more metaphysical note, maybe you're trying to leave your own body? Who knows? If I knew more about astral travel, I might be able to comment more on that possibility, but I don't!

[coltinsmom]

From the reading I did after my son's accident, the sensation you are speaking of sounds like you were having an out of body experience or astral traveling. There are quite a few books out there that go into detail about it. I will have to check my library to let you know what ones I read. I would imagine there is quite a bit of info avaialble on line as well. Hope it helps.

[withani]

Swede1 and Coltinsmom....thank you so much for your responses I'm trying to understand as much as I can about these experiences without being so totally consumed by them as I have been in the past several months...Swede1 I unfortunately did not write down very specific details of the dream other than the two of us working on a B&B together and I was going to be doing some odd jobs in the dream for the going rate of $1.00 an hour??! The only other thing I remember was just being there and being happy that Gary and I were working together...in life we were inseparable and enjoyed working on projects. Again..thank you both!

Cindi

[swede1]

Cindi (wihtani),

Sorry...I HAD to laugh...a dollar an hour?!?! You're HIRED!!! LOLOL! More seriously, perhaps that's the telling thing, what you said....."being happy that Gary and I were working together..." Isn't it possible that the two of you still ARE working together? :-)....just in a different realm? Many people still have continuing relationships with their loved ones, thought we're in different planes of existance. Things can get healed, from either end, on a spiritual plane. And since you actually did do these kinds of jobs in life here, "Work" in this case might likely mean something different, ie. some activity of the spirit may be ahead and the dreamer could be being moved towards the beginning of new spiritual work. Sounds rather like a message, don't you think? This could be Gary's way of telling you he'd there to help you in this new direction.....but maybe not to sell yourself short on what you can accomplish on this new road? (hence the $1/hr seeming unrealistic)But in MY books.....really, how soon can you get here?!?!

[withani]

SWEDE1....I am SO GLAD that you are on this site!!!!! Your knowledge helps me more than you could ever know and encourages me to keep the faith that Gary and I are still together on different planes. When I attempt to talk about this subject with a family members or friends that act like I've lost it!!!! I enjoyed reading your prospective about the $1.00 wage... he always insisted that I sold myself short.. it was funny that you mentioned that. Thank you for the insight..it is sincerely appreciated.

Cindi

[elena82]

Hi everybody,

Yesterday a friend told me that Steven came in her dream. She asked him how the accident happened. He told her that he was daydreaming when driving, that he never felt pain and that two persons immediately came to guide him. (As only his two grandfathers passed away, I suppose that it was them.) He also told her that she shouldn't think that he's unhappy...

I was happy to hear that, but felt also really jealous... Why didn't he came to me?! I'm praying every day to see him in my dream (and it only happens once every to weeks and only two 'special' dreams in two months)... I'm really scared that he's angry at me (because I'm doing 'Ok' so soon, because I can laugh again and this only after two months... I feel guilty)... It's stupid but I'm even wondering if he prefers that girl to me... I'm gonna lose it...

Elena

[swede1]

Elena82,

Oh,I'm so sorry about what happened. I've heard about this kind of thing and I can tell you that you're certainly not alone in feeling jealous, cheated, frustrated, etc., as that's a pretty normal reaction. We all want our loved ones to come to only US, or at least our immediate family who loved them, but especially when we need that feeling of true confirmation that can come with a dream WE'VE personally had, so there are less or no doubts to cloud the issue. It's still a nice sign, especially to get those details, and one could argue that maybe you didn't receive it directly because of this or that, but I understand your disappointment, and even the pain this can bring. It's just not the same when it hasn't been YOU experiencing the experience, right? I highly doubt he's "mad" at you, though. Doing fairly well shouldn't be cause enough for that kind of a reaction from anyone who loves you (ask yourself if YOU would be mad at HIM for such a thing). I understand, though, how your thoughts go from bad to worse, blowing things all out of proportion, as I would be doing the same, even if I 'knew' better! It's just a big disappointment. If, however, you had any doubts about his love BEFORE he passed, then that's an entirely different issue that you'd have to work out after the fact. On a general note, I always find it amazing hearing about dreams that follow such a normal, everyday-like progression of events or conversations...maybe it's just me, because most of my own dreams are so surreal, non-linear, 'crazy' hodge-podges that don't have normal-like order to them. So these kinds really seem more indicative to me - a normal conversation that follows a normal, earth-type course of action, with answers that don't sound weird or out-of-place.

And speaking of disappointment, I paid for a communication with my furboy yesterday, hoping to resolve all the heavy guilt I've carried about his death, and he had supposedly asked if he could come to me in a dream last night ("YES! Of COURSE!!")....and I normally remember my morning dreams, they're so vivid. My husband even took extra steps to make sure I wouldn't be awakened before I was done dreaming.....and NOTHING, that I remember, about my guy. Now, of course, I'm REALLY doubting the whole reading ( already was to some extent ) and I'm totally crushed and now very afraid AGAIN....and that DESPITE all the big signs that I'd already gotten from him, in particular (the biggest, most in number and best were always from him, not even my Mom or brother), so even I'm not doing well today. Sigh....it's such a struggle and I JUST WANT ALL THE ANSWERS NOW, PLEASE!!!!! It's terrible how my faith gets dashed so easily.

[steph219]

I think I had some ADC's These dreams I had were very real to me. I wanted to share them with all of you and get some thoughts from all of you.

When I was about 17 years old my grandfather passed away. About 6 months after he passed away I had a dream. I walked into my grandparent’s house and my grandfather was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table as usual. He stood up and started walking to the door. I said, “You can’t be here you are dead”. He said “Please do not be afraid when you see me. I wanted to let you know that I am happy here and that everything is ok”. I gave him a hug and then I walked out of the house. When I awoke I found a teddy bear next to me and all the other stuffed animals on my dresser were on the floor. I called my mother up at work, I said “that was not funny mom that you put the teddy bear in my bed, I had a dream about grandpa and it scared me when I woke up. She started laughing and said, “I did not put the bear in your bed and also your grandma and I had a dream about grandpa last night too”.

About 5 years later my aunt was dying of emphysema. We were extremely close and had conversations about life after death and what both of us believed. One day I asked her to promise me that when she died that she would come to me in a dream and not scare me, and let me know what it is like where she is and if she is ok. She promised me. She died about 3 weeks later. The night she died I had a dream that I was flying over the world. I found this beautiful beach and landed there. I awoke with the phone ringing. We went to the funeral and I buried a good bye card with her and wrote for her to remember the promise we made. About 6 months later I had a dream that I was in my kitchen and I answered the phone. It was my aunt! It was her voice. She said to me, “Tell your cousin that I was at the entire funeral and it was beautiful. It is so beautiful where I am at. I am so happy. She said God is everywhere and in everything”. Then she showed me this house with a white picket fence and it had the most beautiful white glow I have ever seen. And all the grass and bushes were the greenest I have ever seen. It was so pretty!!! Then she said “I have to go now” and I started crying and saying “No Aunt Kathy don’t go”. I felt her kiss me on my forehead and she whispered in my ear “you have to wake up now to remember this”. And I did and when I woke up something in my head said “Do not move she is still in here”. I eventually felt her leave because the chills that I had started going away. I called her daughter right away to tell her about the dream and she cried. There is no doubt in my mind that was her and that she is somewhere only we can dream about right now.

[elena82]

Swede,

Thank you for your kind words and understanding. I shouldn't doubt his love for me, and like you said, if I'd passed away I would be happy to see him happy, no matter what... I would also like to have a normal everyday-like dream. Cause right now I mostly have dreams with no sense and 'weird'...

Steph, you really had amazing dreams... The fact that it only occured after 6 months gives me hope, as the love of my life passed away 2 months ago...

Cheers,

Elena

[lauraanne]

Swede1,

I just want you to know, for what it is worth, that I believe that you can communicate with your furboy if you find the right person. If you felt like the person wasn’t genuine then he/she probably wasn’t…don’t you think? That doesn’t mean you can’t find someone who IS able to help you. How to do that is what I wish I knew. That is the MAIN reason I haven’t rushed out to do the same thing concerning my brother. I know that it has got to be painful and I wish I could be of more help.

I am sending you prayers, hugs, and good thoughts!

Laura

[lauraanne]

Steph219,

Your dreams give me hope that I can hear from my brother one day. Thanks.

L

[swede1]

Lauraanne,

Thanks so much, dear friend, for your kind words and understanding. I DID rather wonder about this woman (though she's from that great site I mentioned to you, so thought she'd be a safe bet!), but what's worse is that what she said was SOOOOO wonderful that I wanted with all my heart for it to be really coming from my boy. But now I just can't make myself believe it was. It was everything I'd hoped to hear, for sure and that's why the lack of a dream, both last night and the night before, seems more like confirmation it wasn't really him. I prayed again last night before sleep, and NOTHING still. Here I'd thought I'd been purposefully LED to this site, since I'd been wanting to do this for some time and finally had some time to write out questions, but none of the answers were specific enough to convince me. I'm already trying to find someone else (since the best one I know can't work all this year), but now am more afraid than before that I'll pick the wrong one again. Then I STILL have to find one who does PEOPLE, for my Mom. So much for thinking I was being guided! I'm just so tired of everything having to be such a long,drawn-out battle before anything good happens to compensate for all the work. Gad, I'm tired. Now I've probably just put you FURTHER off finding someone for yourself!! If so, I'm very sorry about that. I know there are good mediums out there, but too many cost too much to try them all out in the weeding-out process. If I EVER find another one, I'll be sure to let you know though!

[swede1]

Steph219,

Okay, I'm thoroughly jealous of those clear-cut, concise and straight-forward(see my post of Aug.6) dreams!!! Does THAT answer your question?!?!LOLOL

[tammy61]

I have never dreamed of my fiance but I have felt his presence at the loneliest times--he always "calmed me" with a look or a hug & I have felt that calm a few times. Exactly one week after he died suddenly of a heart attack & at the exact time of his death his spirit was at our home--I wanted to much to feel him or see him but only "our baby" (a black lab) Rocket could sense him & smell him. It was quite a bewildering experience. I felt so cold & looked at the time--6:10 pm & Rocket was acting restless so I opened the front door wide, like it was the week before when the ambulances go to our home. I walked through the house with Rocket staying against my legs & then we went outside to the front lawn just as we had the previous Sunday evening. It was warm & calm but at 6:29 pm the wind hit suddenly & the leaves were floating all around & Rocket jumped up & started running around the front lawn, smelling the air & searching; just as suddenly the wind stopped & the leaves fell to the ground & Rocket came back to my side & laid down calmly at my feet. I remember how much I wanted to "feel" Roy was there & I couldn't. There have been several "signs" since then but my most recent was a good one--I knew for sure Roy heard me & he is happy & still the Roy I love so much--I was forced to move from our home by his ex-wife but it is empty & the bank is foreclosing; I go there to talk to Roy sometimes & to find peace from my sorrow--I always loved the flowers, trees, & privacy of our place & I feel peace & calm in the yard--not in the house, it's empty, but outside. I was lucky enough to get some irrigation water that morning I stopped by & I wanted to water the willow trees Roy had planted so many years ago & had finally (just this spring) reached a height where they touched & formed an arbor over the driveway--just as Roy wanted them to--I concocted a way to water them w/irrigation water instead of well water & I was hoping it would work--it did!!!! I was so glad to get water to these trees because they had not had any since spring & everything is dying--all the flowers & the lawn--I had parked on the concrete below the willow trees & I actually skipped to my car & as I did this I told Roy this "I told you there had to be a way to water these trees w/irrigation water--I told you so!"; as I opened my car door I looked up at the branches & sky when a small burst of air whipped the branches & the willow leaves tumbled on my face--it was Roy, getting even for saying I told you so--I remember feeling light-hearted for the 1st time & smiling up at the trees as I told him I loved him & missed him. How I wish I could feel he was w/me each second of each day!!!

I just wanted to share this with you, maybe someone will find comfort knowing there loved one is in a better place than we can ever imagine!! I know Roy is in heaven & I have known this from the moment he died---I want him w/ me but I am also thankful he no longer has to feel pain or sorrow & is happy. Roy's mom & I had the same "vision" when Roy's dad passed away in May 2005--of Roy running down a hill to his dad, they were both healthy & so happy to be together again. It was a great moment when "mom" shared her vision w/ me & I told her I had the same one!!! One of these days I will be with my soulmate & it will be forever this time.

Good Night everyone & God Bless!! Tammy

[withani]

Tammy61..what a wonderful posting...I enjoyed reading very much. I too lost my significant other/fiance in January and have been fortunate enough to feel his "calming" effect. Shortly after he passed (a couple days) I felt a hug from behind while I was brushing my teeth. I told my 17 year old son about the experience and he said that was odd because while he was playing video games over a friend's home and the friend left the room for a few minutes he felt like someone was hugging him.

It's very unfortunate when you're not married and there's an exwife taking over. I'm sorry to hear you had to move. I had an exwife take the keys to Gary's storage unit and say since we weren't legally married...they belong to her and her son. There wasn't anything valuable in the storage unit but it was just such an invasion of privacy that I truely can sympathize with your situation.

I'm glad you found a way to irrigate Roy's trees as I'm sure he is...take care and god bless!!!

[steph219]

Swede1,

Well to be honest with you most of my dreams I dont even remember really. But these particular ones were extremely real to me. And what happened after I woke from the one with my sunt made things even more seem real to me. The cold chills and it felt like all my hair was sticking up on my head.

[seekingsolace]

Hi Everyone.

I've been reading through all the postings doing a bit of catch up. A recurring theme that I often read about is not being able [at least often enough] to get clear communication happening with your loved ones on the Other Side. Believe me ...you CAN. You CAN. Keep the hope in this. Believe. Trust in yourself. Trust in your loved one's ability to find a way to get through to you. They ARE with you. Just because you are missing the signs in a given moment doesn't mean that they aren't there. Believe in this ...Stubbornly. Don't let anyone tell you anything different.

For me the Other Side is a complete reality because of my daily experience of it. There is no doubt. Just as you do not doubt the day rising or the night falling, the Other Side is the same for me. If 95% of the people in the world said that same thing to you ...I do believe that you would all believe that it is real ...you would just know that it's a matter of finding the way to experience it. You would just assume that, since everyone else is doing it, and you've haven't figured it out yet ...then you are just missing a step or 2. It's really that simple.

Think of having a new phone in the house. Your phone line is working. Your old phone is working. You have confidence that phones allow you to talk to people across distances. You have confidence that your phone line allows this and works. So you hook up your new phone and it doesn't work. What is the first thing you would do? Would you believe that phones don't work at all? Probably not. You would probably check the phone line with the old phone, maybe go to the instruction manual of the new phone and read things through. You might just assume that you need to learn about the new phone. Maybe it needs a battery. But you would believe that it is capable of making a call. If all else failed, you would bring it back to the store to get help or exchange it. But I doubt that you would just leave it there and give up on it.

I honour the tenacity in all of you. I see very loving people who are looking for a way to communicate clearly [and perhaps even regularly] with their loved ones who have crossed over to the Other Side. There is everything natural about this. It's as natural as wanting to hug someone you love on any given day ...or just talk to them ...look into their eyes. All of you are operating on what is natural within you. It's just about needing steps. Clear, practical steps. I just wanted to bring that home.

I will post again shortly replying to different people.

Blessings ...

[seekingsolace]

Hi Everyone.

It's great to see so many people here these days. A warm welcome to Tammy61, Steph219, and Meandmom : ) Lauraa ...are you out there still? We haven't heard from you for a while.

[postings below are in alpha order by username ...]

Coltinsmom [see 8.4.05]: The astral travel thing is my feeling as well [see below under "Withani"].

______________________________

Elena82 [Elena] [see 7.29.05, 8.6.05]: [re 7.29.05] I am glad that what I said made sense for you. I'm not sure who that other spirit was that was interfering in Steven's communication but that might become clear to you in time. I know you mentioned that, before Steven passed, you used to dream every night and now you don't ...I believe that you are still very much dreaming but you are not remembering the dreams now like you used to. I think in time that will change but, for now, your body needs more rest and healing in sleep. When this is the case, the "remembered" dreamworld can temporarily be dim.

[re 8.6.05] I know you are worried that Steven is angry with you and that is why he hasn't been coming more frequently in your dreams but I don't believe that to be the case at all. From my experience of the Other Side, it's virtually impossible to feel anger there. It's a place that allows you to feel inside people's hearts and souls ...to see and feel all sides of an equation ...In that kind of complete experience, all that can exist is understanding and love. Anger is an emotion that comes from fear ...which is usually about misunderstanding something. Think of Steven on top of a mountain right now and able to see all the valleys below. Nothing is not understandable from that vantage point. But, from the valley [ie. us here on earth], we fear things like other people's anger.

In the place he is now, Steven would want nothing but you to be happy. Your ability to laugh again is what we are here for. He knows that now. He is probably even helping you with that.

As for why he came to your friend in a dream rather than you ...There is indeed a reason for it. Could it be that Steven has been having a hard time reaching you because of that other spirit interfering in the tranmission last week? It might be that simple. I am sure that there is a very logical explanation. Have you asked him about that? Maybe the friend had a clear transmission for him and then he made sure that she contacted you. I think it could be something as simple as that.

Think of it this way: While Steven was on earth ...let's say that he tried to call you on your cell phone but it wasn't working for some reason [maybe battery needed recharging or the network was down]. He might try the home phone next but perhaps you didn't pick up there. He might try a few more places and then, if the information he had to share was urgent, wouldn't he try to call a friend or 2 to find out where you were and get a message to you? Haven't you been wondering about his death? This is what your friend conveyed. I think Steven's main goal was to get the information to you whichever way he could. If you would prefer that he speak only to you then it's ok to specify that to him. That is completely ok : ) Just talk to him Elena.

__________________________

Junecleaver42 [see 8.1.05]: I am so sorry to hear about your house being struck by lightening. Know that you are in our thoughts. I hope all of you are ok.

__________________________

Lauranne [see 8.7.05]: You were hearing from your brother before and you will again. Has there been any contact from him of any sort lately?

__________________________

Meandmom [see 7.28.05]: Your mother's visit allowed you to finally say good-bye. These sorts of visits do indeed feel real. It definitely was not a dream ..but a visit. If you would like your mother to come to visit you again ...just ask her. Have you done so? I am glad to hear that you know she is with you and your family. She is. You sound like you are aware and perhaps even sensing/feeling her presence. Just keep talking to her. She's listening.

_____________________________

Steph 219 [see 8.6.05]: The "dream" about your grandfather was most definitely a visit and NOT a dream. The vivid and linear nature of it as well as the fact that he came to your mother and grandmother the same night is confirmation for me.

Your Aunt Kathy also came to you quite clearly. What a wonderful visit that she had with you : )

_____________________________

Swede1 [see 8.1.05, 8.5.05, 8.6.05]: Happy belated bday : ) I am glad to hear that it turned out ok. I really appreciated your interpretations on Withani's/Cindi's dream of Gary and the B&B. Great stuff! What you said makes a LOT of sense.

Your furboy is with you Swede1. Please continue to know this. The reading said that furboy would come to you in a dream that night. How were you feeling before you went to sleep that night? Were you worried at all? That kind of thing can interfere with transmission. Also ...If, for some reason he wasn't able to get through to you that night in a way that you can remember, it doesn't mean that he won't try again another night. Just be open to other attempts. Or other methods of contact too. When the phonelines [dreamlines] are busy, another method of contact needs to be attempted.

_____________________________

Tammy61 [see 8.8.05]: Roy is most definitely with you. He came the week after he crossed over and the moment where you finally sorted out how to water your trees. You are able to feel him with you whenever you want to. Just close your eyes, place your hand over your heart, say his name, speak to him and then wait and listen. Make time to do this everyday. Make a habit of it. It will be some practice to get your system more sensitized to feeling him with you again. Animals are very open and receptive to sensing people from the Other Side too. Rocket sensed Roy. You can also look to him as a guide right now.

_____________________________

Withani [Cindi] [see 7.28.05, 7.29.05, 8.2.05]: [re 7.28.05] Gary knew he was dying and it sounds like he had come to a place of peace about that within his soul. On this higher level oof consciousness [ie. from the soul], he would have completely understood your fear of his death [ie. why you couldn't talk to him about his dying 8 months prior]. It's normal, it's human to be afraid of someone you love dying. There is nothing that you could have done to prevent it either. Nothing. So your guilt is just not deserved. You have done NOTHING to feel guilty about. Absolutely nothing. It's like being harsh with yourself for being afraid. Would you pass the same judgement on someone else if they were afraid? Be compassionate with yourself. You deserve compassion.

Gary being bipolar and having a problem with alcohol would not have made life easy on either of you. It takes a lot of inner strength to find balance when the cards are thrown into the air like that. He knows that now. He even knew that when he was physically on the earth. Did he not tell you this a number of times? Remember. Your soul knows.

He took you dancing the night before he died. What a better way to say good-bye to the physical? If you think about it ...doesn't the way he chose to have his final physical connection to you make sense?

[re 8.2.05] The floating sensation that you get in the upper part of your body just before going to sleep is most likely your astral body leaving your physical body. This usually happens after a person has gone to sleep but there are times when we can experience the sensation of it before sleep too. For me, the astral body is just a technical word but I think it's best to keep things simple. Think of it as the soul ...It's like a balloon inside your physical body, attached to the physical body by a cord/string [just like a balloon anchored firmly to the side of a building]. When you sleep, the balloon rises above the body and hangs out there until you wake. The string/cord to the physical body remains intact. It is firmly in place. When the "balloon" starts to rise away from the physical body, a lightheadedness is experienced.

This "balloon rising" effect can also happen during a waking state [ie. during shock/fright for example] ...then it's called "dissocation". It's a temporary state that can come on from a number of situation

Be kind to yourself. And keep talking to Gary. He is with you. [the hugs tell you so!]

_____________________________

Take care everyone. Until next time ...

[lauraa]

Seekingsolace,

Hi! I haven't been able to be here as my computer has been out and has taken some time to get back up. Also, 5 weeks ago I was in a car accident with my daughter (not one scratch in what could have been a bad one).I think my husband was with us on this one along with god! Two weeks ago I had surgery to remove a lyphoma from my shoulder. And, I'm taking my oldest off to college on Wed. morning. Not to mention my other two teenagers. In between all this I received an award given in my husband memory. SO, needless to say I alittle tired. I so enjoy reading all your supportive post to everyone here. Thank you. I still see my husbands face when I close my eyes so I am sure he is with me. I do miss him more with each passing day. I go to bed sometimes just feeling exhausted that I got thru another day. I usually fall to sleep quickly but have a difficult time staying asleep. I'm working on that. I have to put some quality time aside to communicate with him. I do find that difficult to do as I always have kids with me or else I'm extremely busy. But, I'm always talking to him or thinking of him. I listen to a CD I have to help communicate with the "Other Side" but I am so emotional while listening to it that I cry so I think it is difficult to have it happen...I am trying to stop but if I don't I just keep asking him to come to me. We really did have a "oneness" and when I cry it is because I just flat out miss him and can't hardly fathom that I need to go on the rest of my life without him. But, my children keep me on track and I push on for them because they are mine and my husbands babies and I know that is what he would want. He loved them all so much and leaving us was his greatest suffering. You giave me so much strength and I really treasure your thoughtfulness and care you give to me and everyone else here. It is such a very difficult time for all of us. Any suggestions are always welcomed and appreciated.

I hope your pooch is comfortable and you are o.k.

Sincerely. Lauraa

[tinasdad]

I've had a hard time accepting certain things, especially about the spirits of our loved ones returning to visit us. That is, until today. LauraAnne, I have you to thank for those emails about Stacey's childhood for finally bringing me here to say what happened yesterday afternoon. Stacey's mother never told me of her pregnancy or her birth, but at 3:48 pm on October 16, 1974, I felt something different about life. During her childhood, I had various encounters with these feelings, like she was trying to talk to me, or that she needed me. On the night Stacey died, I was in the ER with chest pain, and at the moment of her death, I had a panic attack. I then became depressed until the police found the remains of her body. This is all now verified by medical and police documents. I didn't prove my paternity until July 13 of this year, at which time my feelings came to an abrupt end. A few days ago, I received her personal effects from the police: her purse, keys, makeup, etc. I keep them in a safe in my recording studio. I also get these things out daily while writing emails and other correspondance, or doing computer sequences for music. Yesterday afternoon, at exactly 4:30 pm, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and my hair, which is very long, moving, almost like someone was behind me giving me a hug. After a nearly sleepless night, and much prayerful deliberation, I've come to a conclusion this had to be my daughter, Stacey. I have no other explanation. I talked to my wife for a while about it, and she struck that decision before me. Men can be so dense at times, eh. I swear this is what happened, and nobody was near enough to cause this. If this was Stacey, she just told her Dad more in a hug than words can ever say. Thanks for putting up with my rantings on this.

[seekingsolace]

Lauraa,

I'm so glad to hear that you and your daughter are alright. It sounds like you have had quite a time these past few weeks. That's a lot to juggle.

I am glad to hear that you are still seeing your husband's face when you close your eyes. He is still very much with you. Your tears during the CD are understandable. I would encourage you just to cry and cry ... and cry. No need to hold back. Don't be concerned with the tears interfering with messages in any way right now. Maybe you just need to be held by him [ask him for that ...and keep asking] and then the rest will come. Just let yourself cry for now.

You said that you miss him more every day. The "oneness" that you share. Let's try to get you reconnected with him more regularly to get that back more. In order to assist you more thoroughly, it would really be helpful to get a record/"log" with dates of: 1) communications from him that you have received [with descriptors], 2) your communications to him [detailing the date, the nature of the communication, etc]. Please include: your emotional state [for #1 and #2 ..when receiving and sending messages] in those moments and in the 24 hours preceding and after those moments ...as well as your thoughts [if you can recall them] and what was happening in your life on those days. You can post it publicly if you like or you can e it privately to me at illuminatumm@hotmail.com

You have already detailed some of the communications you have had from him already in prior posts on this site but what I am looking for this time is different ...It's a precise log. The key is to track communication patterns to try to isolate what kind of things are working, which are not and to expand upon the ones that are working [i'll get more into that later ...let's have a look at the log first].

I know it feels like you have to live the rest of your life without him but you don't. He is still with you. I'm not saying that the spirit is the same as the physical ...It doesn't feel that way at first to those of us here in the physical. But the man that you love was never his body ...He was always his spirit. Nothing has changed that. The death of his physical body has not changed him. Feel his heart in the now Lauraa. The "heart" of him was never his body. The body is just a cocoon. The "heart" of him remains. He is probably standing beside you right now. The key is to fully connect with that ...to feel it ...to experience it ...more.

The quality time to communicate with him is as essential as the air you breathe right now. If he were still here in the physical body, the two of you would make time for each other I would imagine. Were you able to do this? Was there a time of day that this happened? A special time for the two of you? I don't see why that needs to change. He hasn't changed. Just his body has. And you can learn to feel his spirit more. It's just a matter of a learning curve.

Let's roll up our sleeves and get to work on this. There IS an answer for you.