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Brain damaged brother

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On May 14th 2003 I lost my 19yr old brother due to a vehicular accident. I was 12yrs old at the time... I was the one who answered the phone call. His car was hit by a drunk driver around 9am. It's been 10years... He now lives with us, bedridden, due to the brain damage he suffered. When he got out of the coma years ago, there was still some hope that he might come back to us... But unfortunately no. He cannot walk or talk or do anything on his own... He understands what we say and can nod his head yes or no to answer.

I learned to focus on my life for a while.. get myself in medicine like I always dreamed of as a child... But I left it after 1yr.

I don't know how to deal with the depression anymore. I feel so alone and lost without him. I dont talk to my parents about it because I have always been their strength. I tried talking to a psychologist for a little time but i gave up on it.

I just feel so lost, alone, and depressed all the time. I want to do so much with my life... Accept that i have a chance to be more, but at the same time, I dont know how to motivate myself anymore..

I feel suicidal all the time but i would never do it... I understand right and wrong and i know it would be wrong and selfish of me to leave him and my parents...

I need help, but dont know how to ask for it.. or how to admit I'm really weak...

It hurts so much more to see him everyday like this... I just cant see him suffer and try to have a good life he never got to have...

Please... I just dont know what to do anymore...

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It takes a lot of humility to ask for help, but you have made the biggest step of them all....you know you need help. Seek it out, get on the phone, and see where it is available. You could start with a social worker at your local hospital. They should be able to point you in the right direction. You need to be proactive in seeking counsel. The social worker should also be able to help find any support groups that you could attend. Having someone or a group to talk to will help you to ease the burden you carry alone. Some things in this life are too heavy to carry alone, and knowing that, and accepting that, will help you on your way. Talking to your parents will help you and them. It will also give your parents "meaning", as they help you. I would do anything to help my children. I lost my daughter on April 22, 2013, and to this day I wish she would have let me help her, I wish she would have asked for my help. Let your parents help you, and seek out the help you know you need. What you are carrying is a heavy burden, and we all need help in this life.....all we need to do is ask!

God Bless and I wish you the best,


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