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mamiesoroka

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mamiesoroka

Umm...here I go again, I was searching around the net and came across a message I had posted last Sept. regarding my situation.  I am so thankful to those that replied.  Well now...BIG update, since mothers suicide attempt, after the holidays, after they spent most of the winter in Florida, my ailing father passed away on Mar 8.  My mother did not call to let me know, she had my aunt leave a message on the machine.  My son and his wife were flown up from Fla, my nephew came from Quantico (he is a Marine awaiting deployment).  My estranged daughter was contacted.  Let me clarify, it was technically my stepfather (32 yrs).  My mother opted to not include my stepsister, her two children, or grandchild in the wake or funeral.  There was a nasty "white trash Jerry Springer" situation at the funeral parlor when they arrived (after driving 3.5 hrs) and were given verbal permission 2 days prior.  My mother flew across the funeral home after my stepsister and physically assaulted her.  The police were called, seven police cars showed up.  I was not there, but according to what was told to me, my stepsister did no wrong when entering.  My stepfather's family were denied the opportunity to say goodbye.  I opted to attend the funeral after hearing the events of the wake in support of my stepsister.  I arrived at the church late...quietly found a place in the rear and proceeding to sob my heart out as quietly as I could.  When arriving at the cemetary, my 2 children were forbidden to have any interaction with me whatsoever, due to my disapproval of my mothers actions.  My heart is broken and I am having a severly hard time keeping it together.  How one person could so morally and deeply hurt another they way my mother has, I cannot understand.  There has been backlash since the funeral.  On top of this a former "boyfriend" passed away back in Tennesee from a motorcycle accident.  The bearing of this on me..is I was dating him when my best friend killed herself...he was a source of support at the time.  We parted amicably...but it hurts to here of such an unexpected event.  So now....I am doing everything I can to "keep it together".  I do not want to "check in" just because...I will not allow my mother to say...oh, she had to do this because of her dads death..ect.  I will not give her that satisfaction.  One of my aunts has been good about seeing how I am doing, but she keeps saying...."I don't want you to make yourself sick".  Hello?  Make my self sick?  Are these people for real?  If you scroll down to my previous entry back in Sept you can see...given that circumstance and now in light of the recent events....I am barley holding on...and my family is just waiting holding thier breath until I "make myself sick".  I know this is not a reason not to seek that kind of help...but I will be damned if I let them think..."I made myself sick" over this.  They do not know about my old friend passing.  Its just all the drama created with my mother and her surroundings...I can't handle it.  I actually do not remember visually seeing her or my sister during the funeral or that day.  Maybe that is a really good thing. Okay...once again THANK YOU for letting me vent, I do feel better.  Mamie

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sheela

mamie i am so sorry --

i lost my mom last year and am too grieving so hard that i cant hardly stand it there are so many days that i dont know what is to be the with the rest of my life. i can only imagine how hurt you are. i have several family members who are just like the hateful ones you described...

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mamiesoroka

Sheela, thanx so much, your support has helped so much.  I am at my wits end.  Loosing my dad, but then...the drama...its hard...and should be a non-issue...I am trying to be "the better person" but there is so much history...I do believe though, no matter what I try, what I believe, my mother will..."never get it" or fully understand the gravity of her actions.  I am learning so much about the hurt she has caused and manipulated people over the years...I am appalled and ashamed.  But it really hurts that my own children could not interact with me nor my grandchildren.  I can only imagine what my stepsister is going through.  This is a horrible nightmare.  I once thought "after my accident" after I moved back home...mom would be supportive, the mom I always wanted...but...that never happened..and now..it is the worst.  My head is spinning, the few thoughts that keep me here are..my one nephew came to me once with a problem stating "Aunt Mamie..you are the strongest person I know..." that keeps going through my head, but at the same time, mom's manipulation preventing interaction at the funeral...this a a boy-man...a Marine, going to be deployed in two months to Iraq...and he was not allowed to speak to me, my husband or my stepsister and her 2 children.  This is beyond awful...this is family...when family needs family... I just think it has gone too far.  Okay, I saw something on TV...that made sense...I seem to believe that everyone else thinks like me...WRONG!!!  I need to get this fact through my thick skull...but..we are talking about my MOTHER...not everyone is cut out for motherhood....but ****, this women plays the emotional yo-yo....me at 43 yrs old really should know by now...OKAY enough for now.  Thank you again so much for your words, I am not the only one out there... THANKS!! Mamie

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