Members ruby1983christine Posted March 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 :?How do you handle the pain of looseing some one you loved for so many years ?i knew he was sick and he wanted to go because he was in so much discomfort because of his cancer and he didn't want to leave me behinde and then he got so sick he just wanted to let "God" take him, he did .i thought i was ready to let him go because of his sickness and i am not i am struggling with it so bad it has only been a few days since i buried him. i am alone now, feel really empty.i never have experienced watching a person i love die before in my arms because he was so sick, it has messed me up mentaly right now.we got to say our good byes before he went into a coma and for a while he knew i was there and i told him to go be with Jesus and i will be okay and about 15 minutes after i said that he slipped away, that has destroyed me. i took care of him until the very end of his fight for life, and the memory is sticking in mind will it ever get better? i need help with this and don't know how to deal with it. i hope u good people could help me please. sincerely, ruby 1983 christine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aurora Posted March 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Ruby, I am so so sorry for your loss. I know the tremendous amount of pain you are in. Is there somebody that can come stay with you while you are going through this? Is there a friend or relative you can talk to or perhaps a minister? Try to find a grief support group near you where you can share your feelings. You can always share on Beyond Indigo too. Try to find a grief counselor in your area that can help you through this. They help you find solutions and guide you through your grief. Take very good care of yourself at this time in your life. Make sure you get a lot of rest, eat right and pamper yourself. You do not have to go through your grief alone. A lot of people have been where you are. They care and they know how you feel. Take care! Aurora Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ruby1983christine Posted March 12, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 thanks for the return i have a few friends close and most of my family is 40 to 5o miles from me.i am trying to take care of myself the best i can it is hard right now i am glad i found ya'll i needed some help to get through this i am just plain scared right now if i will make it or not ? i loved, depended on him," now he is gone". he is a angel with " GoD" and i am scared but i guess in time i will be okay but does the pain stop ? and the ache ? my real name is melissa i use ruby as a user name it was the name of a old car we use to have he loved that old car. thanks , melissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aurora Posted March 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Melissa, try not to go through the pain by yourself. It really is too much to handle alone. It will take time to go through your grief. You have been through so much. You were an angel to take care of him clear to the end! Grief is a journey that nobody wants to be in. The being alone and the ache and fear are a normal part of grieving. Some days will be better than others. I know it's a cliche that with time things get better. It does ease up somewhat. Your loss is very new to you. You must be very gentle with yourself. Try to see the good and the beauty in life and the wonderful memories you had. Try not to focus too much on the end of his life. You will still have to work your way through it though and all this will become a part of your life's story eventually. Try to find some meaning in what you are going through. Light a candle in his memory, say a prayer, gather your pictures and memories in a book play some favorite music, whatever will bring you comfort at this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ruby1983christine Posted March 12, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Thanks so much you made a lot of sence u r very right. i will try to do things differently i loved him so very much , i hated to let him go but i knew his illness wasn;t going to let him live, God saw it was time to go. it is hard to not dwell on his last few mins of his life because i have never dealed with such before in my life, it is sticking with me , i try to shake it. but in time i guess ! thanks for calling me a angel i did what any one would that loved that person as much as i did. being alone is my problem to i don't want to be alone, right now it is hard.but i am trying. thanks for the surport. melissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelsonearth Posted March 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 I lost my husband Dec. 15, 2007 and I still feel this way, you said it just like I feel. My husband had two different cancers to. He was at home when he died. I miss him so so much and will always love him. I just found this web-sight the other day, (I think it was anyway.). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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